* This transcript was created by voice-to-text technology. The transcript has not been edited for errors or omissions, it is for reference only and is not the official minutes of the meeting.
          [00:00:07]
          OKAY, UM, WELCOME EVERYBODY. 
          HI. 
          I'LL WAIT TILL EVERYONE QUIETS DOWN AND THEN I'LL INTRODUCE THE FIRST READER. 
          OKAY. 
          UM, SO I WISH I KNEW HOW MANY WORDS ON HUDSON WE'VE HAD, BUT IT'S AROUND A DECADE OF, OF THIS PROGRAM. 
          IT WAS IN THE BIKE SHOP AND IT'S BEEN IN DIFFERENT PLACES, BUT IT'S LOVELY HERE AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER. 
          THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING OUT. 
          WE HAVE SUCH AN EXCITING ROSTER OF READERS. 
          THERE'LL BE A SHORT PLAY AT THE END WITH RICHARD SHOTTER AND DC ANDERSON, AND THEN AT THE VERY END, SEAN WILL BE DOING A PUPPET SHOW THAT HE WROTE JUST FOR THIS EVENT. 
          SO, UM, I WANNA POINT OUT THAT THE CITY LAW POLE MOBILE IS OUTSIDE AND THERE'S A BOARD THERE WHERE YOU CAN WRITE A POEM OF YOUR OWN OR A LINE FROM A POEM THAT YOU LOVE. 
          SO FEEL FREE TO WANDER OUT AND DO THAT AT ANY POINT IN BETWEEN THINGS. 
          AND, UM, I WROTE ONE ABOUT MY SPALDING HIGH BOUNCE BALL, SHORT LITTLE HAIKU IN THE MOMENT, UM, WHICH IS ALL I NEEDED TO BE HAPPY WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD AND TO THIS VERY DAY. 
          UM, OKAY, SO, UH, LET'S GET STARTED. 
          THE FIRST READER IS RACHEL WEINBERG, WHO MANY OF YOU KNOW, IN ADDITION TO DIRECTING HIGH SCHOOL, A MIDDLE SCHOOL PLAYS FOR THE HASTINGS ON HUDSON SCHOOL DISTRICT. 
          RACHEL IS A FICTION WRITER WHOSE STORIES HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED IN LILITH AMONG OTHER PUBLICATIONS. 
          WHEN THE SAW COMES WAS NOMINATED FOR A PUSH CARD PRIZE AND HER STORY STUCK KISS WAS CHOSEN BY DUCKS FOR THEIR BEST OF DUCKS AND THEOLOGY. 
          THE FACT DUCKS THAT'S DUCKED WITH A TEETH, UM, SHE HONES HER WRITING CRAFT WHILE COMPETING. 
          STANFORD UNIVERSITY'S CONTINUING STUDIES NOVEL WRITING CERTIFICATE PROGRAM ENDS IN LYNN ER'S LIVING ROOM. 
          THAT'S LYNN OVER THERE. 
          HE'LL BE READING LATER. 
          UM, RACHEL WILL BE READING AN EXCERPT FROM HER NOVEL IN PROGRESS PLAGUE STORIES. 
          LISTEN, AND ON THE, UH, DESTINATION HASTINGS WEBSITE, THERE'S A LINK TO STICK, UH, TO, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT, THAT'LL BE UP FOR A COUPLE DAYS AT DESTINATION HASTINGS. 
          OKAY, EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME RACHEL WEINBERG. 
          ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 
          ALL RIGHT. 
          I'VE BEEN, UH, FIGHTING LARYNGITIS, SO IF I LIKE WAVE THE PAPERS, IT MEANS I LOST MY VOICE AND SOMEBODY WILL JUST RUN UP AND FINISH. 
          OKAY. 
          ALL RIGHT, SO THIS PIECE, IT, IT'S AN ABRIDGED VERSION AND JUST A LITTLE WARNING THAT THERE IS A, UM, VERY ILL CHILD IN THE PIECE. 
          THE JOB OF THE LIVING. 
          THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYES ON TREVOR, WE WERE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR IN SOME HOSPITAL ROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. 
          I'D STARE OUT THE WINDOW FOR HOURS AND ALL I'D SEE WERE THE SHARP TIPS OF THE PINE TREES BELOW TREES IN A PARKING LOT. 
          THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS WE WERE GOING TO SPEND THE MONTH OF JULY TRAVELING AS A FAMILY. 
          NEW HAMPSHIRE WILL BE FUN. 
          MY DAD SAID, HIKING, SWIMMING IN LAKES AND PLENTY OF ANTIQUE SHOPS FOR YOUR MOM. 
          BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT TURNED OUT. 
          TREVOR WAS AT THE HOSPITAL THAT SUMMER, SAME AS US. 
          HE WANDERED FROM ROOM TO ROOM ON STICK LEGS AND IN A DIAPER, EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKED ABOUT FOUR, I NEVER SAW HIM IN ANYTHING ELSE. 
          NOT ONCE, NOT EVEN THE DAY THAT HIS DAD VISITED. 
          HE WALKED INTO OUR ROOM OR RATHER MY BROTHER WILLIAM'S ROOM FOR HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SICK. 
          TREVOR STARED AT MOM AS SHE SAT BENT OVER HER MAGAZINE, TURNING PAGES ONE AFTER THE OTHER UNTIL SHE GOT TO THE END AND THEN SHE'D START OVER. 
          MOM MUST HAVE FELT A CHANGE IN THE ROOM, MAYBE A SHIFT IN THE AIRFLOW OR HIS SHADOW OVER THE PAGES OR HIS EYES THAT BORE INTO HER. 
          SHE LOOKED UP AND GAVE HIM THAT LOOK. 
          SHE GAVE ALL OF US A BIT PERPLEXED AS IF SHE'D SEEN US FROM A DISTANCE AND IT TOOK HER A MINUTE TO REMEMBER WHO WE WERE AND THAT WE BELONGED TO HER. 
          AND THEN HER GAZE SHIFTED AND SHE BEAMED AT HIM. 
          WHY? HELLO? THERE HEADLIGHTS INTO THE BLAZING SUN, THAT KIND OF BEAM. 
          TREVOR TOOK A STEP TOWARDS HER. 
          HE MIGHT'VE CONTINUED WALKING, BUT I JUMPED OFF MY CHAIR AND HE TURNED AROUND AND WALKED OUT, HUH? SAID MOM AND WENT BACK TO HER MAGAZINE. 
          MAYBE THE ROOM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOOTHING, BUT IT WAS COLD WITH WHITE WALLS. 
          THE BUZZ OF THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS AIR THAT BURNED MY NOSE, I WENT BACK TO WATCHING THE PATTERN OF CARS IN THE PARKING LOT. 
          DON'T SQUIRM. 
          HENRY MOM SAID IT'S DISTRACTING, BUT IT WASN'T ME WHO WAS DISTRACTING. 
          IT WAS WILLIAM LYING IN THAT HOSPITAL BED WITH THE TUBES FROM HIS ARM TO THE CLEAR PLASTIC BAG AND THE WIRES FROM HIS CHEST TO A MACHINE THAT BEEPED IN TIME TO HIS HEART, HIS HALF SHAVED SCALP, HIS MOUTH SLIGHTLY OPEN WITH SALIVA DROOLING OUT OF THE CORNER 
          [00:05:01]
AND ONTO THE PILLOW. 
          WHY DO YOU THINK, WHY DO YOU THINK THAT BOY CAME INTO OUR ROOM? I ASKED WHAT BOY, I KICKED MY FOOT TOWARDS THE DOOR, THE ONE IN THE DIAPER. 
          I NODDED. 
          I DON'T KNOW. 
          ODD, ISN'T IT? HOW COME NO ONE DRESSED HIM? MOM'S HEAD POPPED UP AND SHE STARED AT THE DOOR, HER LIPS REPEATING MY QUESTION. 
          THIS IS THE MOMENT I COME BACK TO THE MOMENT WHEN WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE CRASHED INTO ALL THAT CAME AFTER. 
          OF COURSE I DIDN'T KNOW IT AT THE TIME. 
          HOW COULD I? NONE OF US DID. 
          NOT EVEN MOM, ALTHOUGH SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD AN INKLING, HARD TO SAY. 
          ALL I KNOW IS IF I COULD TAKE MY QUESTION AND CRAM IT BACK INTO MY MOUTH, I WOULD CRAM IT UNTIL I CHOKED. 
          BUT THERE IT WAS HANGING IN THE AIR BETWEEN US WAITING FOR HER TO GRAB IT AND GRAB IT. 
          SHE DID. 
          HOW COME NO ONE DRESSED HIM? SHE LOOKED AT ME, HER FACE RADIANT WITH THE BEAUTY SHE USED TO SLICE HER LIFE. 
          YOU ASK GOOD QUESTIONS, HENRY. 
          IT'S ONE OF YOUR GIFTS. 
          AND THEN SHE GLANCED BACK AT HER MAGAZINE AND THE LIGHT FADED. 
          I WATCHED THE CARS IN THE PARKING LOT AND WHAT ALLUM DROOLED. 
          I NEVER LEFT THE HOSPITAL. 
          NOT COMPLETELY. 
          I BECAME AN ACTUARY MEASURING THE POTENTIAL FOR RISK AGAINST THE MONETARY VALUE OF TAKING CHANCES. 
          IF YOU HAD MEASURED THE RISK OF AN ACCIDENT HAPPENING ON A CAMPING TRIP FOR A HETEROSEXUAL FAMILY OF FOUR WITH AN 8-YEAR-OLD AND A 12-YEAR-OLD FILTERED IN THE FACT THAT BOTH PARENTS WERE WHITE, NEITHER WERE JEWISH, IT WOULD'VE COME TO A RISK FACTOR OF ABOUT 0.04%. 
          NOT N, BUT THE PRESENCE OF AN 8-YEAR-OLD MEANT THE FAMILY WASN'T GOING TO TAKE ANY UNDUE RISK. 
          CERTAINLY A GOOD BET FROM AN INSURANCE POINT OF VIEW, AND YET THINGS HAPPENED. 
          THERE'S NO WAY TO CALCULATE A SNAKE BITE OR A KID EATING A SLUG OR A BERRY CAN'T PREDICT. 
          A BALL MIGHT HIT THE PRECISE SPOT ON A KID'S CHEST AT THE PRECISE MOMENT IN THE HEARTBEAT THAT CHANGES THE RHYTHM OF THE BEAT. 
          AND WITHIN MOMENTS, THAT KID IS DEAD CAN'T PREDICT IF RACE TO THE TOP LEADS TO A TREE ROOT, A SURPRISE FALL ONTO THE HEAD OR A BONE BREAK THAT YOU THINK IS JUST A BREAK, BUT ADDITIONAL TEST AT THE HOSPITAL REVEALS SOMETHING MORE. 
          IN ANY CASE, WE WERE NEVER, WE WOULD, WE WOULD NEVER HAVE FORESEEN THE RISK, BUT THE RISK WAS THERE ALL ALONG. 
          FROM THE MOMENT WE PACKED FOR VACATION, IT WAS WAITING FOR US TO STEP IN IT AND OF COURSE WE DID STEP IN IT, ALL FOUR OF US WITHOUT KNOWING WHERE WE LANDED. 
          DAD ARRIVED WITH SANDWICHES AND THE CONVERSATION SHIFTED TO FEEDING ME. 
          FEEDING ME WAS THE ONE TIME I GOT ATTENTION AND I TOOK AS MUCH ADVANTAGE OF IT AS I COULD. 
          DAD UNWRAPPED THREE PACKAGES, TWO HEAD LETTUCE AND TOMATO, WHICH MAKES MY THE BREAD SOGGY IN MY TONGUE. 
          STEAM. 
          I SETTLED ON THE TUNA FISH, ALTHOUGH I MADE IT CLEAR I DIDN'T LIKE THE SMELL OR THE TEXTURE AND WAS ONLY EATING IT FOR THEIR BENEFIT. 
          LUNCH WAS ALMOST FINISHED WHEN TREVOR REPE REAPPEARED. 
          HE TOOK A FEW STEPS INTO THE ROOM, STOPPED IN FRONT OF MOM AND DAD WITH HIS MOUTH SLIGHTLY OPEN. 
          MOM REACHED INTO A BAG OF CHIPS AND HELD ONE OUT TO HIM AND TREVOR TOOK AN UNSTEADY STEP TOWARDS HER. 
          DON'T DO THAT TO DAD. 
          WHY? FOR THE SAME REASON YOU DON'T FEED WILD ANIMALS. 
          THE BOY REACHED FOR THE CHIP IN A FLASH. 
          DAD SCOOPED HIM UP AND CARRIED HIM INTO THE HALLWAY AND BEHIND THE WALL WE HEARD HIM SHOUT SOMEONE MISSING A CHILD, A NURSE RAN PAST THE DOOR. 
          SORRY. 
          HE KEEPS DOING THAT. 
          DAD RETURNED HIM EMPTY HANDED AND PLOPPED INTO THE CHAIR. 
          YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, SAID MOM, DAD PICKED UP TWO MENUS LEAVING ONE ON THE TABLE, CHINESE OR ITALIAN FOR DINNER. 
          I SAID, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 
          DOES HE HAVE RABIES? I ASKED. 
          OF COURSE NOT SAID, MOM, WHY DO YOU ASK? WELL, DAD CALLED HIM A WILD ANIMAL. 
          IT'S AN EXPRESSION, SAID MOM, CAN I HAVE SOME OF THE CHOCOLATE WE BROUGHT? MY PARENTS LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. 
          NOT YET. 
          HENRY SAID, MOM, WE'RE SAVING THEM FOR YOUR BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY. 
          THE MACHINES BEEPED. 
          THE BAG DEFLATED. 
          WILLIAM SLEPT. 
          HE ISN'T GOING TO EAT THE CHOCOLATE. 
          YOU DON'T KNOW THAT HER FACE FLUSHED AND DARKENED. 
          HE ISN'T. 
          ALL HE DOES IS SLEEP IN ORDER TO GET BETTER, SAID MOM, IN OUR OTHER LIFE WE ARE ON A MOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST AND DAD IS SAYING, GETTING LATE, WE BETTER START HEADING BACK. 
          AND MOM TAKES A LOOK AT THE MAP AND SAYS A LITTLE BIT FURTHER, THERE'S A SWITCHBACK AND I SAY, RACE YOU TO THE STUMP. 
          AND WILLIAM SAYS, LOOK UP. 
          HE'S POINTING OVERHEAD AND WE ALL STOP TO WATCH THE LONG WINGSPAN OF A LONE HAWK AS IT GLIDES OVER THE TREES AGAINST THE BLUE SKY AND WE SEE DAPPLED THROUGH THE LEAVES. 
          INSTEAD, WE ARE IN THIS LIFE IN WHICH DAD FOLDS THE TINFOIL FROM THE SANDWICHES INTO TIGHT SQUARE PACKETS AND THEN UNFOLDS THEM. 
          MOM FLIPS THROUGH PAGES OF THE SAME MAGAZINE AND THE SAME RHYTHM. 
          1, 2, 3 PAWS, FOUR I. 
          NOW ON THE TUNA FISH SANDWICH, WILLIAMS SNORES. 
          YOU THINK WILLIAM KNEW HE WAS DYING? I ASKED DAD AS I TOOK TWO SHOT GLASSES AND THE BOTTLE OF WHISKEY HIDDEN UNDER THE SINK. 
          I MOVED HIM A FEW MONTHS EARLIER 
          [00:10:01]
TO AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY WHEN IT BECAME CLEAR HE COULD NO LONGER LIVE ON HIS OWN. 
          WELL CLEAR TO ME. 
          AT ANY RATE, THE TRANSITION TOOK LONGER FOR HIM. 
          I BROUGHT OVER THE DRINKS WHERE HE SAT ON THE LEATHER CHAIR AND SAT NEXT TO HIM. 
          IN THOSE DAYS, WE UNPACKED HIS LIFE LIKE A STACK OF SNAPSHOTS FLIPPING FROM ONE TO ANOTHER. 
          THE IMAGE OF WILLIAM AND MOM AND TREVOR WAS THE ONE PICTURE I STARED AT LONGINGLY AND THEN FLIPPED OVER WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. 
          I GUESS I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER TO A MYSTERY IN MY OWN LIFE, HOPING DAD HELD THE KEY TO HOW OUR LIVES UNRAVELED AND IF HE RELINQUISHED THE KEY, I'D BE ABLE TO OPEN THE DOOR TO MY OWN CAGE AND BE SET FREE. 
          OF COURSE I HAD A RACE AGAINST DAD'S FAILING MIND AND AGE AND BODY IN HIS OWN INSISTENCE TO LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE. 
          SO DO YOU, DO YOU THINK WILLIAM KNEW? HARD TO SAY. 
          DID MOM, HE PAUSED FOR A MOMENT, LOOKED UPWARDS TOWARDS THE SKY AND SHIFTED SLIGHTLY IN HIS CHAIR. 
          SHE KNEW. 
          HE STARED STRAIGHT AHEAD. 
          WE ALL KNEW I DIDN'T. 
          YOU WERE EIGHT. 
          I USED TO THINK IT WAS THE FALL. 
          I SAID IT WASN'T. 
          IT WAS THE CANCER WE DISCOVERED ONCE WE WERE AT THE HOSPITAL. 
          HE LOOKED AT ME. 
          WE WERE IN THE LAST CHAPTER OF HIS WIFE. 
          I KNEW I SHOULD REACH OUT TO MOM, BUT I HADN'T TALKED TO HER IN DECADES AND I WASN'T ABOUT TO START. 
          I'M SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH FOR YOU. 
          DAD SAID, BUT I DIDN'T. 
          I SWALLOWED AN ICE CUBE. 
          I WAS ALONE WITH THE LUMP. 
          WE CALLED WILLIAM, BUT I SUSPECTED WASN'T WILLIAM? NOT ANYMORE. 
          I POKED HIS SHOULDER. 
          THE LUMP LAY STILL I JAPPED HARDER AND HARDER UNTIL WILLIAM TWITCHED IN SLOW MOTION. 
          HE WAVED A HAND IN MY DIRECTION LIKE I WAS A FLY. 
          HE WAS CHEWING AWAY. 
          I LEANED INTO HIS EAR. 
          COME ON, WILL GET UP. 
          IT'S BEEN DAYS. 
          HE SHOOK HIS HEAD. 
          SCREW YOU. 
          IT WAS A WHISPER, BUT IT WAS ALL I NEEDED. 
          I'LL EAT YOUR CHOCOLATE. 
          HIS EYES FLUTTERED AND OPENED. 
          I'LL KILL YOU. 
          I SMILED. 
          I BET YOU WILL. 
          HE LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM, HIS EYES MOVED TO THE CEILING WHITE LIKE THE WALLS SURROUNDING US. 
          WHERE'S MOM AND DAD? I SHRUGGED TALKING AND SHOWED ME HIS BRUISED WRIST. 
          IT HURTS. 
          WILL SAID THE VEIN WAS SWOLLEN WHERE THE NEEDLE INSERTED. 
          MAYBE THE NURSES CAN HELP. 
          I SAID YEAH, MAYBE WE DIDN'T CALL THE NURSE FOR THE FIRST TIME. 
          I REALIZED THE GROWNUPS WEREN'T USEFUL. 
          THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE ANSWERS. 
          I PUT DOWN THE BARS THAT SURROUNDED WILL AND CLIMBED ONTO THE BED. 
          WE SAT IN SILENCE. 
          JUST THE TWO OF YOU. 
          TWO OF US. 
          ARE YOU DYING? WILL YEAH, MAYBE. 
          I DON'T KNOW. 
          YOU WANNA WATCH TV? SURE. 
          I CLICKED THROUGH THE CHANNELS. 
          WHOLE WORLD FLEW PAST AND THE LIGHT ON WILL'S FACE CHANGED. 
          AS THE CHANNELS CHANGED, WE STARED OPEN MOUTHED. 
          HOW ABOUT THIS SHOW? WILL I GLANCED AT HIM? WILL HIS HEAD LAY AGAINST THE PILLOW? HIS MOUTH OPENED HIS EYES CLOSED HIS ARM OUTSTRETCHED AS IF HE WAS THE ONE HOLDING THE REMOTE, CHANGING THE WORLDS ON THE SCREEN. 
          I LEFT HIM SLEEPING. 
          MAYBE IF I WASN'T EIGHT I WOULD'VE SAID MORE. 
          I LIKE TO THINK THAT, BUT EVEN NOW, I DON'T KNOW OF WHAT I COULD HAVE SAID. 
          MOVIES ARE FULL OF LAST WORDS, BUT LIFE ISN'T LIKE THAT. 
          I LOOKED AT DAD'S PHOTOS OF MY BROTHER WILLIAM, AGE TWO HOLDING A STUCK RABBIT. 
          WILLIAM AGE FOUR HOLDING INFANT KNEE WILLIAM AGE 10, 11 AND 12 HOLDING A BAT. 
          WILLIAM AGE 16 HOLDING HIS LEARNER'S PERMIT. 
          THAT WAS THE ONE I STARED AT. 
          HIS HAIR WAS BLONDER AND THE EYES OF PIERCING BLUE. 
          ALL THOSE YEARS OF SECRECY OF MOVING AT FOUR IN THE MORNING, AS IF THAT WAS NORMAL OF NEVER INVITING FRIENDS OVER. 
          AND THEN ONE DAY ALL THE HIDING STOPPED. 
          HOW DID THEY GET AWAY WITH IT? SUDDENLY IT ALL CLICKED INTO PLACE. 
          YOU GAVE TREVOR WILLIAM'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. 
          IT WAS YOUR MOM'S IDEA. 
          SAID DAD, THERE WAS AN AGE DIFFERENCE. 
          DAD SHRUGGED. 
          A 10 YEAR DIFFERENCE ON A LEARNER'S PERMIT. 
          DAD CHUCKLED. 
          THE WOMAN AT THE DDMB DIDN'T CARE IF WILLIAM WAS 16 OR 26. 
          ALL SHE CARED ABOUT WAS HOW LONG UNTIL HER SHIFT ENDED. 
          MOST PEOPLE DON'T LOOK FOR DECEIT. 
          MOM HANDED OVER WILLIAM'S SOCIAL SECURITY CARD AND THE CHANGE WAS COMPLETE. 
          I PUT THE PHOTO BACK. 
          WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND DAD IS WHY YOU AGREED TO IT. 
          HIS VOICE BECAME COLD ABOUT TIME FOR YOU TO GO DAD. 
          THINGS HAPPENED. 
          THERE WAS ANOTHER FAMILY HARD LATER THAT WEEK WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR TO DAD'S APARTMENT, I SAW THEM SIDE BY SIDE ON THE LOVESEAT. 
          I DON'T KNOW WHAT BROUGHT HER TO DAD'S. 
          MAYBE HE CALLED WITH THE RESULTS FROM HIS LATEST BATTERY OF TESTS. 
          MAYBE THEY'D ALWAYS BEEN IN CONTACT. 
          MAYBE I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD STOPPED TALKING TO HER. 
          MAYBE THEY SPENT DECADES HIDING THEIR VISITS FROM ME OR MAYBE THEY DIDN'T THINK OF ME AT ALL. 
          SHE HAD THE SAME THIN FINGERS SHE HAD YEARS EARLIER WHEN I WATCHED HER TURN PAGES FROM A MAGAZINE IN THAT HOSPITAL ROOM. 
          SHE GLANCED AT ME. 
          [00:15:01]
GOOD TO SEE YOU, HENRY. 
          SHE SMILED, BUT I WONDERED IF SHE MEANT IT. 
          DAD INTERLACED HIS FINGERS BETWEEN HERS, TWO CHILDREN LOOKING AT A TORNADO THAT MAY OR MAY NOT SWEEP THEM AWAY. 
          THAT'S HOW THEY STARED AT ME. 
          YOU TWO. 
          MY VOICE CAME OUT ANGRIER THAN I INTENDED. 
          IT DIDN'T MATTER. 
          SHE DISAPPEARED FROM MY LIFE 28 YEARS AGO AND NOW SHE WANTED TO RETURN OR MAYBE SHE DIDN'T. 
          IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT ONE OF THOSE CARS IN THE PARKING LOT MAY HAVE BEEN HERS OR MAYBE SHE NO LONGER DROVE. 
          MAYBE TREVOR BROUGHT HER TREVOR, WHO I ALSO DON'T TALK TO. 
          DAD'S BEEN KEEPING ME UP TO DATE ON HOW YOU'RE DOING. 
          I NODDED. 
          I HEARD LAUGHTER FROM THE AIDES RECENTLY FREED FROM WORK, EXCITED TO FINALLY HAVE TIME TO DO WHAT THEY WANNA DO. 
          ONLY LATER REALIZING THEY WERE TOO EXHAUSTED TO DO ANYTHING BUT EAT DINNER, STARE AT THE TV, GO TO SLEEP. 
          DO IT AGAIN. 
          I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 
          I SAID WITHOUT KNOWING IF WHAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WAS WHY SHE WAS HERE OR WHY SHE LEFT OR WHY SHE COULDN'T DEAL WITH WILLIAM'S DEATH. 
          LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE GRIEVING EVERY F*****G DAY OF THEIR LIVES BUT STILL MANAGING TO PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER WITHOUT BLOWING UP EVERYONE ELSE'S LIFE OR WHY I WASN'T ENOUGH. 
          WHY DID YOU DO IT? I ASKED MOM'S SIDE, YOU'RE TAUGHT TO SHARE YOUR TOYS AND NOT BITE YOUR FRIENDS SAID, DAD, YOU'RE TAUGHT MULTIPLICATION TABLES. 
          HOW TO CONJUGATE A VERB? WRITE A COLLEGE ESSAY. 
          SAID MOM, HOW TO SHAKE HANDS AT A JOB INTERVIEW. 
          NOT CLAMMY, NOT SOFT, NOT TOO HARD. 
          YOU'RE TAUGHT HOW TO BEHAVE ON A FIRST DATE AND THE SECOND DATE AND THE THIRD DATE. 
          THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. 
          DAD CONTINUED HOW TO PROPOSE. 
          MOM SMILED BY A HOUSE, HAVE A CHILD NOT ALWAYS IN THAT ORDER. 
          THEY LAUGHED. 
          PAY THE CAR INSURANCE, THE ELECTRICITY BILLS SHE FACED ME AND NO ONE TEACHES YOU HOW TO BURY YOUR CHILD. 
          HE FACED ME. 
          NO. 
          NO ONE TEACHES YOU TO BURY YOUR CHILD. 
          WE DID THE BEST WE COULD. 
          HENRY THE BEST WE COULD. 
          SAID DAD. 
          SHE STOOD UP AND WALKED TOWARDS ME. 
          THE JOB OF THE LIVING. 
          SHE PUT HER HANDS AROUND MY SHOULDERS IS TO LIVE. 
          DOESN'T IT MATTER HOW I ASKED? SHE SMILED AS IF I WAS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME CLOSE AND ASKED TO SEE PICTURES OF MY CHILDREN. 
          I LEFT SOON AFTER, STUMBLED DOWN THE HALLWAY AND WAITED FOR THE ELEVATOR. 
          EVERYTHING IS SLOW IN DAD'S BUILDING EXCEPT TIME. 
          IT TRAVELS IN CONCENTRIC CIRCLES MOVING FASTER AND FASTER TO THE PAST. 
          AFTER WE LEFT THE HOSPITAL, WE DROVE AND DROVE UNTIL STARVED. 
          WE STOPPED AT A DINER WHEN WE FINISHED EATING, MOM WENT TO THE BATHROOM. 
          SHE TOOK A LONG TIME, LONG ENOUGH FOR DAD AND ME TO LIP ALL THE FUDGE FROM THE SIDE OF MY SUNDAY AND THEN WE WALKED TO THE CAR. 
          MOM HELD MY HAND BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I WAS EIGHT, IT WAS STILL A PARKING LOT. 
          I OPENED THE CAR DOOR AND STARTED TO GET IN AND THEN JUMPED BACK AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. 
          DAD, GET IN. 
          HENRY SAID, MOM, WHAT IS A CHAMP? NOW SAID MOM. 
          HER FINGERS DRUMMED ON TOP OF THE ROOF. 
          THE, THE THE SEAT I POINTED AT THE SPOT WHERE WILLIAM SAT OR WILLIAM WOULD SIT IF HE WAS ALIVE, BUT SINCE HE WASN'T THAT SPOT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EMPTY BUT IT WASN'T EMPTY. 
          TREVOR SAT THERE KICKING THE BACK OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT WITH RED HEADS. 
          DAD STRAIGHTENED AND LOOKED AT MOM OVER THE ROOF OF THE CAR. 
          AMELIA, I'M NOT GETTING IN THE CAR WITHOUT TWO CHILDREN. 
          ROY, I'M NOT AMELIA. 
          WE CAN'T TAKE HIM. 
          TWO CHILDREN. 
          THAT'S THE NUMBER WE HAD WHEN WE STARTED THIS TRIP AND THAT'S THE NUMBER I'M RETURNING HOME WITH. 
          YOU CAN'T DO THIS. 
          THEIR NAMES ARE WILLIAM AND HENRY. 
          AMELIA. 
          SHE SLAMMED HER FIST ON THE CAR ROOF. 
          I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN ROY. 
          I CAN'T. 
          I WON'T MAKE IT. 
          I WON'T. 
          DAD SHOOK HIS HEAD AND LOOKED AROUND THE PARKING LOT AND THEN BACK AT MOM, HIS VOICE CHOKED. 
          AMELIA, WHAT ABOUT HIS FAMILY? HIS FACE CONTORTED AND TURNED RED. 
          WHAT FAMILY? HER VOICE ROSE. 
          HE WAS LEFT TO WALK AROUND IN A DIAPER BECAUSE NO ONE WAS AROUND TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. 
          WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE IS IT WHEN WE LOSE OUR CHILD AND THE FAMILY THAT'S PRACTICALLY ABANDONED? THEIRS GETS TO KEEP HIM. 
          THEY DON'T DESERVE HIM. 
          ELIA, HE'S NOT A PUPPY AT A DOG SHELTER INSIDE THE CAR, TREVOR LOOKED AT A PRETZEL ON THE SEAT, A PRETZEL. 
          I SAID WILLIAM DROPPED AND HE SAID, I DROPPED AND MOM SAID, I DON'T CARE WHO DROPPED IT. 
          CLEAN IT UP. 
          TREVOR GRABBED TREVOR, GRABBED THE PRETZEL AND ATE IT. 
          THINK WHAT WE CAN GIVE HIM. 
          SAID MOM, THINK HOW BETTER PREPARED WE ARE TO RAISE HIM. 
          HE DIDN'T CHOOSE US. 
          HE DID SAID MOM, HE CHOSE ME AND I CHOSE HIM. 
          DON'T YOU GET IT? THE AUTHORITY OF YOUR CONVICTION TOOK AWAY THE NEED TO SCREAM OR PLEAD. 
          HE NEEDS US AND WE NEED HIM. 
          THE ORGAN DONATION LADY SAID WILLIAM WANTED TO SAVE LIVES. 
          THIS ISN'T WHAT SHE MEANT, BUT IT'S WHAT WILLIAM 
          [00:20:01]
MEANT. 
          IT'S WHAT WILLIAM WOULD'VE WANTED. 
          A FAMILY WALKED TO THEIR CAR. 
          THE PARENTS ON EITHER SIDE OF THEIR CHILD SINGING 1, 2, 3. 
          WE ALL THREE LAUGHED. 
          THEY WALKED TO THEIR CAR. 
          THREE DOORS, SLAMMED THE ENGINE RED, THE DUST KICKED OFF. 
          AS THE POWER PULLED OUT, DAD EXHALED OPENED HIS HANDS AND LOOKED AT THE SKY. 
          WELL WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL? MOM SPOKE FAST. 
          SHE KNEW THE QUESTIONS, HAD THE ANSWERS READY. 
          WE TELL THE SCHOOL, WE'VE DECIDED TO HOMESCHOOL HIM. 
          DAD POINTED TOWARDS TREVOR. 
          HE CAN'T DO EIGHTH GRADE WORK. 
          WE CAN. 
          MOM'S FACE FLUSHED WITH EXCITEMENT. 
          MATH HENRY CAN. 
          HENRY DID WILLIAM'S MATH HOMEWORK LAST YEAR. 
          DAD LOOKED AT ME. 
          YOU DID. 
          I SHRUGGED. 
          WILLIAM PAID ME WHEN HE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. 
          DAD SHOOK HIS HEAD BUT THERE WAS NO REAL CONVICTION BEHIND IT. 
          I DON'T KNOW AMELIA. 
          OF COURSE YOU DO ROY. 
          YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED TO DO BECAUSE I'M NOT RETURNING HOME TO WILLIAM'S JACKET ON THE WINDOW SEAT WHEN I CAN'T YELL AT HIM TO PUT IT AWAY. 
          I'M NOT WEARING A FAKE SMILE AND THANKING THE NEIGHBORS FOR THEIR STUPID CASSEROLE WHILE THEY GIVE ME THEIR LOOKS OF PITY. 
          I'M NOT DEALING WITH EVERYONE'S RELIEF THAT IT'S ME AND NOT THEIR CHILD. 
          THAT'S DEAD. 
          BUT THE FLASH OF ANGER IN THEIR EYES TO BE SO NEAR THE DRAMA WITHOUT BEING HURT BY IT. 
          I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WILLIAM'S ROOM AND THROWING OUT WHAT HIS HANDS TOUCHED. 
          I'M NOT GOING THROUGH HIS DRAWERS AND DISCOVERING THE THINGS HE HIT FROM US. 
          I'M NOT DOING THAT. 
          I'M NOT. 
          SHE POINTED TO TREVOR. 
          SO WE EITHER TAKE THIS WILLIAM HOME OR YOU DIG A HOLE FOR ME HERE 'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA LIVE. 
          DAD LOOKED AT THE SKY, RUBBED HIS FACE SKIN RED, CLOSED HIS EYES AND NODDED. 
          YES. 
          THEY OPENED THEIR DOORS SLOWLY AND IN UNISON AND MOM GOT IN. 
          DAD PAUSED. 
          LOOKED AT ME. 
          GET IN. 
          HENRY, WHAT DID MOM MEAN BY AGAIN WHAT SHE SAID SHE WASN'T DOING THIS AGAIN. 
          DAD OPENED HIS MOUTH, CLOSED IT. 
          GET IN HENRY, BUT DAD IN, HE GOT IN THE CAR AND SLAMMED THE DOOR. 
          I DRESSED MY HANDS INTO MY POCKET, WENT TO KICK A PEBBLE AND MIST. 
          THE DUST BLEW UP AND SETTLED AS IF THERE HAD BEEN NO DISTURBANCE. 
          I SHRUGGED. 
          TOOK MY HANDS OUTTA MY POCKET AND GOT IN, SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND ME. 
          DAD STARTED THE ENGINE AND WE DROVE OUT OF THAT PARKING LOT. 
          SAME AS ANY FAMILY OF FOUR. 
          WOW. 
          THANK YOU RACHEL. 
          UM, NEXT UP IS DAN ASLE AND UH, ALL I'LL HAVE TO SHARE ABOUT DAN IS THAT HE'S A WRITER AND A SOFTWARE ENGINEER AND HE'LL BE READING FROM A MEMOIR ABOUT HIS FATHER AND A BLOOD DISORDER. 
          UM, SO AS WAS SAID, THIS IS ABOUT MY FATHER WHO IS A DRUG ADDICTED POSITION AND ABOUT A SERIOUS ILLNESS I DEVELOPED AS AN ADULT. 
          UM, THIS SCENE, UH, PRIOR TO THIS SCENE, THERE'S A DESCRIPTION OF THE NIGHT BEFORE WHEN MY PARENTS HAD A VERY VIOLENT FIGHT. 
          MY FATHER GOT HIGHER THAN I'D EVER SEEN HIM BEFORE WHEN I WOKE UP AND, AND I WAS IN THIRD GRADE AT THE TIME WHEN I WOKE UP, THE HOUSE WAS IN PAYOFF AND ONLY MY HOUSEKEEPER WAS THERE. 
          SHE COMFORTED ME AND WALKED ME TO THE BUS STOP. 
          AND THAT WAS NOT A USUAL EVENT. 
          FIVE OR SIX KIDS WERE WAITING FOR THE BUS. 
          CARLA WHITMAN, MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS STANDING WITH GLORIA. 
          CALL FROM TWO HOUSES DOWN. 
          BOBBY MUELLER WAS THERE TOO. 
          A BOY WHO'S CURSING IN 1962 WAS AHEAD OF ITS TIME AND OTHER CHILDREN WHOSE NAMES I'VE FORGOTTEN. 
          I REMEMBER THINKING ABOUT HOW NOBODY KNEW THAT MY FATHER'S BRAIN WAS BROKEN AND THAT I WAS NOW GOING TO HAVE A REGULAR DAY. 
          DID THAT HAPPEN? ANNIE? OUR HOUSEKEEPER WENT BACK. 
          BACK ACROSS THE STREET TO MY HOUSE. 
          WHY DID SHE WALK YOU? GLORIA ASHMORE. 
          I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 
          IT DESERVED SOME SORT OF EXPLANATION, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD ONE. 
          GLORIA STARED AT ME THEN SHE MOVED VERY CLOSE, EXAMINING MY FACE. 
          HER EYEBROWS WERE DARK AND THICK. 
          HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING? SHE ASKED. 
          THIS WASN'T AN ACCUSATION, JUST GETTING THE FACTS STRAIGHT. 
          NO, I SAID CARLA CAME CLOSE TO BOTH OF THEM. 
          BREATHING INTO MY FACE. 
          YES YOU HAVE. 
          CARLA SAID, I CAN TELL BECAUSE OF YOUR EYES. 
          THIS WAS NEWS TO ME THAT YOU COULD BE SURE SOMEONE HAD CRIED. 
          BUT CARLA NODDED HER HEAD WITH CERTAINTY THEN TIED THE WHOLE INTERROGATORY TOGETHER. 
          IS THAT WHY SHE WALKED YOU? OBVIOUSLY. 
          I HAD TO EXPLAIN. 
          MY PARENTS HAD A FIGHT LAST NIGHT. 
          GLORIA LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, SO LAST NIGHT YOU WERE CRYING. 
          SHE EXAMINED MY FACE SOME MORE. 
          YES. 
          THAT SAYS WHO WAS CRYING? BOBBY MUELLER SAID HE'D SCUTTLED ACROSS TO THE EDGE OF OUR GROUP. 
          NOW HE PUSHED HIS FACE INTO OUR CIRCLE. 
          EVERY FACE IN CHILDHOOD OUTSIDE YOUR FAMILY IS A REVELATION. 
          AN ALIEN WORLD. 
          BOBBY'S FACE, FRECKLED. 
          BOBBY'S FRECKLED FACE WAS FULL OF ALARM. 
          [00:25:01]
LIKE YOU'RE APPROACHING A SHORE WITH A RED FLAG ON IT. 
          YOU WERE CRYING CRYBABY. 
          HE SAID TO ME, HE ALWAYS SPAT HIS WORDS LIKE HIS MOUTH WAS WET. 
          BUT I NEVER KNEW WHY. 
          I MUST HAVE SAID SOMETHING BUT I DON'T RECALL. 
          BOBBY AND I HAD FREQUENT FLIGHTS, FREQUENT FIGHTS RESULTING WITH ONE OF US IN A HEADLOCK. 
          BUT NOT THIS MORNING. 
          CARLA LOOKED AROUND HER FEET AND POINTED TO A PILE OF DOG S**T WHO WAS DRY AND BLEACH. 
          VERY WHITE. 
          GO AWAY BOBBY. 
          SHE SAID, OR I'LL THROW THE DOG'S BEAT AT YOU LIKE THE LAST TIME BOBBY SPED OUT SOME CURSES WORDS WE'D ALL HEARD BEFORE, BUT CERTAINLY NOT IN DEBB AND FLOWED DAILY LIFE. 
          HE BOUNCED OFF INTO THE PLAYGROUND RETURNING OVER ONLY WHEN THE BUS ARRIVED. 
          AFTER A NIGHT OF VIOLENCE AND CHAOS, THE CHILD OF AN ADDICT STEPS OUT OF HIS HOME INTO A WORLD DRAMATICALLY ALTERED BUT WHERE THEY'RE EXPECTED AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHERE THEY EXPECT THEMSELVES TO COMPLY SUCCESSFULLY WITH THE NORMAL DEMANDS OF CHILDHOOD. 
          BUT OF COURSE THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. 
          THE WORLD HAS BEEN INFILTRATED AND TRANSFORMED. 
          DEMONS ARE NOT CONTAINED BY THE WALLS OF YOUR HOUSE. 
          THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 
          YOU'VE BEEN DISGUISED OF THE ADULTS YOU TOLD TO TRUST. 
          LATER THAT MORNING I SAT AT MY DESK IN MRS. RAINER'S CLASS. 
          THE DESK WAS WOOD. 
          LIKE THE BOOKS YOU GOT FROM THE LIBRARY THAT HAD BEEN USED BEFORE BY A LONG CHAIN OF CHILDREN THIS MORNING AND SOME OTHER MORNINGS. 
          I RUBBED MY HAND OVER THE DESK SURFACE WHILE MRS. RAYNER TALKED ABOUT SOMETHING AT THE BLACKBOARD. 
          AND I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW SMOOTH THE DESK WAS FOR THOSE OTHER KIDS RUNNING THEIR HANDS OVER IT AND WONDERED WHETHER THEY TRIED TO MAKE IT INTO A MAGIC LANTERN LIKE I DID THAT YOU COULD RUB AND WISH AND THEN BE SOMEWHERE BETTER. 
          CARLA WAS IN THE CLASS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. 
          THE OTHER THIRD GRADERS FROM THE BUS STOP LIKE GLORIA WERE NOT IN THE ADVANCED CLASS WITH ME. 
          ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T WASTE THE RUBBING THE DESK WISH WISH ON THE PROBLEM. 
          I LONGED TO BE IN ONE OF THE EASIER CLASSES. 
          SAY THE ONE BOBBY WAS IN MY GRADES WERE BAD THIS YEAR. 
          I HAD NO IDEA WHY. 
          BUT MRS. RADER TOLD MY MOTHER THAT I WAS HAVING TROUBLE PAYING ATTENTION. 
          IT WAS TRUE. 
          AT SOME POINT YOU DID HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE WAS SAYING AND ON SOME MORNINGS LIKE THIS ONE, I COULDN'T GET MYSELF TO START. 
          I WANTED TO CHECK IF I COULD STILL HEAR MY PARENTS FIGHTING INSIDE MY HEAD LIKE I HAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN DURING THE QUIET MOMENTS. 
          SO WHEN I WAS SURE THAT THE TEACHER WAS LOOKING AT THE OTHER KIDS, I PUT MY FINGERS OVER MY EARS TO SEE IF THE SHOUTING WAS STILL THERE. 
          IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GONE. 
          SO I TOOK MY FINGERS AWAY AND STARTED TO HEAR WHAT MRS. RAINER WAS TALKING ABOUT. 
          IT WAS ABOUT GERMS. GERMS ARE ALL AROUND US. 
          SHE WAS EXPLAINING THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 
          I DON'T HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF MRS. RAINER ANYMORE. 
          I ONLY HAVE AN IMPRESSION OF HER HAIR, WHICH WAS LIGHT BROWN, ALMOST BLONDE AND VERY STIFF SO THAT WHEN SHE MOVED HER HEAD, ALL THE HAIRS MOVED WITH HER AT THE SAME TIME, JUST ABOVE HER SHOULDERS. 
          THERE WAS NO WAVINESS, NO STRANDS FLAPPING ALONG. 
          SEPARATELY THE WAY YOU SEE WITH OTHER WOMEN. 
          SHE WAS DRAWING A CIRCULAR BLOB ON THE BLACKBOARD. 
          THIS IS BACTERIA. 
          SHE SAID A GERM. 
          SHE ADDED SOME SMALLER BLOBS INSIDE THE BIG ONES. 
          THERE ARE PARTS INSIDE IT. 
          SHE CLARIFIED. 
          BUT YOU DON'T NEED, YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THE NAMES RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'LL LEARN THOSE NEXT FEW. 
          I KNEW SOME OF THESE PARTS ALREADY. 
          OF COURSE, SINCE MY FATHER HAD SHOWN ME IT'S MORE WELL DRAWN PICTURES. 
          I PERKED UP A LITTLE THINKING THIS MIGHT BE A RARE MOMENT OF INTEREST. 
          LAST WEEK SHE SAID, I FOUND SOME WAYS WE CAN PROTECT OURSELVES FROM GERMS. AND I THOUGHT, WELL I SHOULD TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT THOSE GERMS. THIS WAS, THIS WAS MRS. RAINER'S FIRST DATE BACK AFTER AN ABSENCE. 
          I DON'T REMEMBER HOW LONG IT WAS, BUT WE HAD A SUBSTITUTE WHO WAS NICE AND WAS PRACTICALLY A TEENAGER LIKE MY SISTER JUDY. 
          YOUR REGULAR TEACHER WAS JUST OUT SOMETIMES YOU NEVER KNEW WHY YOU WERE JUST HAPPY 'CAUSE THE SUBSTITUTE WOULDN'T HAVE THE LIST IN HER MIND. 
          OF ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU HAD DONE WRONG THAT YEAR, SHE WAS MEETING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME AND YOU MIGHT BE PERFECT FOR ALL SHE KNEW. 
          NOW WE WERE SURPRISED THAT MRS. RENDERER WAS BOTHERING TO TELL US ABOUT WHERE SHE HAD BEEN. 
          WE DROVE DOWN TO GEORGIA. 
          SHE SAID SHE WALKED TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BLACKBOARD AND PULLED DOWN A MAP OF THE UNITED STATES, WHICH UNROLLED LIKE WINDOW SHADE. 
          SHE POINTED TO GEORGIA WITH A LONG STICK SHE USED FOR GEOGRAPHY LESSON AND SHOWED US THE STATES THAT SHE HAD TO DRIVE THROUGH. 
          MY HUSBAND AND I ATE AT DINERS AT ALMOST EVERY MEAL. 
          HAS ANYONE HERE EVER EATEN AT A DINER? I RAISED MY HAND ALONG WITH A FEW OTHER KIDS. 
          I PROBABLY HADN'T EATEN AT A DINER, BUT IT WAS GOOD TO PARTICIPATE WHEN YOU FIGURED THERE WOULD BE NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS. 
           SURPRISINGLY THOUGH THERE WAS ONE. 
          WAS THE DINER CLEAN? SHE ASKED. 
          THE QUESTION WAS CONFUSING WHICH PART OF THE DINING THEY DID, THE OUTSIDE, THE SIGN AND THE WINDOWS. 
          I LOOKED AROUND AT THE SILENT FACES AND FIGURED EVERYBODY ELSE WAS STRUGGLING WITH THIS TOO. 
          BUT THEN SHE CLARIFIED THE GLASSES, THE SILVERWARE. 
          DID ANYONE WIPE THE TABLE? WHAT ABOUT THE BATHROOM? THE SINKS. 
          WHAT ABOUT THE TOILETS? A COUPLE 
          [00:30:01]
OF ANSWERS WERE GIVEN. 
          NOW, CHERYL BY SAID THAT HER DINER WAS CLEAN. 
          WAS THE LEVITON DINER ON HEMPS AVENUE APPARENTLY KNOWN FOR ITS CLEANLINESS? ARNOLD COWI SAID HE HAD THE SAME CLEAN EXPERIENCE. 
          YEAH, WELL YOU WERE BOTH VERY LUCKY. 
          MR. GRAIN SAID MY HUSBAND AND I HAD TO EAT IN SOME DINERS, WHICH WERE NOT CLEAN. 
          NOT CLEAN AT ALL. 
          WITH HER POINTER, STICK AND MAP, SHE SHOWED US THE ROUTE THAT THEY HAD TAKEN AND GAVE US THE RUNDOWN OF THE DINER SITUATION IN EACH STATE. 
          NEW JERSEY WASN'T BAD THOUGH. 
          THEY HAD TO THOUGH. 
          THEY HAD STAYED AT THE TURNPIKE THE FIRST TIME I'D HEARD, HEARD OF THIS ROAD, PENNSYLVANIA DINERS WERE PRETTY AWFUL. 
          SHE WAS SURPRISED BY THAT AND FRANKLY KIND OF DISAPPOINTED MARYLAND AND VIRGINIA. 
          I DON'T REMEMBER. 
          PROBABLY MIXED BAG. 
          MIXED BAG. 
          BUT SHE WAS VERY UPSET ABOUT NORTH AND SOUTH CAROLINA AND SINCE THEN IT'S BEEN VERY HARD FOR ME TO THINK, WELL ARE THOSE STATES. 
          ACCORDING TO MRS. RAIN, THEY WERE FILTHY CRAWLING WITH GERMS ON THE SPOONS AND FORTS AND IN THE BATHROOMS. IT WAS THERE IN ONE OF THE CAROLINAS WHERE BY NECESSITY SHE FIGURED OUT HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. 
          WHAT DO YOU DO IF HER GLASS IS DIRTY? SHE HAS, YOU CAN'T WASH YOUR MOUTH. 
          THAT'S TOO LATE. 
          BUT HERE'S WHAT YOU DO. 
          SHE TOOK A GLASS FROM HER DESK AND HELD IT UP TOWARD THE, TOWARD HER FACE LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO DRINK. 
          BUT RATHER THAN PUT IT TO HER LIPS, SHE PLACED HER OTHER HAND CALMED DOWN BETWEEN THE GLASS AND HER LIPS. 
          YOU LET THEM DRINK, PASS OVER YOUR HAND INTO YOUR MOUTH SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT YOUR LIPS ON THE GLASS. 
          JUST LET IT TRICKLE ACROSS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND. 
          YOU COULD TRY THAT AT HOME. 
          WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR EVERYBODY TO TRY IT. 
          NOW , I DID TRY IT SOMETIME AFTER THIS AND I COULDN'T GET THE TIME OF NOW THE SILVERWARE. 
          SHE SAID I DID TAKE THAT TO THE LADIES' ROOM AND WASH IT WITH SOAP. 
          BUT IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, THEN YOU CAN SPIT INTO A NAPKIN AND WASH EACH PIECE OF THAT. 
          I THINK WE'RE ALL SURPRISED THAT SHE ENDORSED SPIT IN THIS WAY, BUT SHE WENT ON TO TELL US THAT SPIT IS YOUR OWN SPIT IS SAFE FOR YOU SINCE IT COMES FROM YOUR OWN MOUTH TO BEGIN WITH. 
          EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PRIVATE ANTIBODIES. 
          SHE EXPLAINED AND TOLD US AGAIN THAT WE'D PICK UP THE DETAILS NEXT YEAR IN FOURTH GRADE. 
          THEN SHE GOT TO WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE DARNEST BATHROOM. 
          IT WAS ABOUT SQUATTING JUST ABOVE THE TOILET. 
          THE GERMS WERE ON THE SEAT AND IF YOU DIDN'T LET YOUR BEHIND TOUCH IT, THEY COULDN'T LEAP ACROSS THE GAP. 
          , IT SOUNDS DIFFICULT. 
          I KNOW SHE SAID AND SHE LOOKED AROUND AT OUR FACES SYMPATHETICALLY LIKE WE WERE ALL WORRIED ABOUT. 
          FAR HARDER WOULD BE TO SQUAT THAT WAY, BUT IT'S NOT HARD. 
          SHE SAID NOT HARD AT ALL. 
          AFTER THAT, THERE WAS SOME MORE TO THE LESSON AND INVOLVED GERMS FROM CAST REGISTERS AND HOW IT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING TO WASH THE MONEY, BUT THAT WASN'T REALLY SOMETHING SHE COULD DO ON THE TRIP. 
          SHE FOUND VERY ANNOYING AND SHE SHOULD HAVE PLANNED IT BEFORE. 
          I THINK THIS IS THE PART THAT CHANGED THE WAY I WAS HEARING THIS STORY. 
          HER REGRET THAT SHE COULDN'T KEEP THE MONEY CLEAN. 
          I WAS PRETTY SURE REGULAR PEOPLE DIDN'T CLEAN THEIR MONEY. 
          THERE WERE THINGS YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND WHEN YOU FINALLY DID, YOU WONDERED WHY THEY'D, WHY THEY HAD BEEN SKIPPED BEFORE. 
          BUT SOMEBODY DEFINITELY WOULD'VE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS. 
          IT'S TOO IMPORTANT. 
          MAYBE SHE WAS JOKING, BUT LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM, ALL THE KIDS LOOKED SERIOUS, LISTENING CAREFULLY THE WAY THEY ALWAYS DID. 
          LIKE THEY MIGHT GET TESTED ON THIS AND WANTED TO GET ALL THE DETAILS. 
          WHY WAS NOBODY SEEING THIS? IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS JOKING, BUT SHE WASN'T, IT WASN'T JUST THE PART ABOUT THE MONEY, IT WAS THE WHOLE THING. 
          YOU COULDN'T REALLY POUR WATER OVER YOUR FINGERS LIKE THAT AND GET INTO YOUR MOUTH AND THE GERMS COULDN'T GET OUT TO GET TO IN ALL THOSE STATES BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS TEACHER. 
          WITH HER MIND. 
          SHE WAS STILL TALKING. 
          IT TURNED OUT THAT SHE HAD GONE DOWN TO A FUNERAL. 
          SOMEONE IN HER FAMILY HAD DIED AND THIS HAD BEEN VERY SAD, SHE SAID. 
          BUT SHE DIDN'T LOOK SAD WHEN SHE SAID IT TO ME. 
          SUDDENLY SHE SEEMED CRAZY LIKE MY FATHER, LIKE A CRAZY PERSON IN A CARTOON SINGING NONSENSE WORDS. 
          I FELT A WAVE OF FEAR. 
          THE ROOM WAS UNPROTECTED, THE WORLD UNSAFE, FILLED WITH ADULTS WITH FAULTY BRAINS. 
          I PUT MY FINGERS OVER MY EARS AGAIN TO BLOCK OUT THE TEACHER'S FALSE THINGS DOWN. 
          VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD. 
          I HAD THE NIGHT DARK BATTLE. 
          I BURST INTO TEARS AND PULLED MY FINGERS AWAY. 
          THERE WAS SILENCE IN THE ROOM, BUT I COULD HEAR MY OWN CHIN FLOATING ABOVE IT. 
          TIME PASSED AND I FELT LIKE I COULD SLEEP. 
          IT WAS SO HARD TO GET AIR. 
          THEN FROM ACROSS THE ROOM, CARLOS, CLEAR VOICE. 
          HIS PARENTS HAD A FIGHT LAST NIGHT. 
          SLOWLY I CUT MY BREATH AND STOPPED CRYING. 
          EVERYBODY WAS STARING AT ME AND NOT MOVING. 
          EVEN MR. RAINER. 
          THEN SHE CAME UNSTUCK, TOOK ME OUT INTO THE HALL. 
          SHE TRIED TO BE NICE AND TO CALM ME DOWN. 
          SHE ASKED ME ABOUT THE FIGHT, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 
          I THOUGHT ABOUT FIREMEN AND HOW THE SAME TEACHER ONCE TOLD US THAT YOU HAD TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH THAT THEY SHOWED UP. 
          I WONDERED IF I COULD DO THAT. 
          'CAUSE I WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE TO GET INTO TROUBLE. 
          [00:35:13]
SOON IS UP NEXT, UH, FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU DAN. 
          THAT WAS GREAT. 
          UM, PENNY WOLFSON HAS BEEN A RIVER TOWNS RESIDENT FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS. 
          SHE'S THE WINNER OF A NATIONAL MAGAZINE AWARD FOR HER ESSAY MOONRISE, WHICH WAS THE BASIS FOR HER FULL LENGTH MEMOIR, UM, OF THE SAME NAME. 
          HER WORK HAS APPEARED IN THE ATLANTIC, THE NEW YORK TIMES PRINT, EXCEPTIONAL PARENTS, GOOD HOUSEKEEPING, LILITH MOTHERWELL AND THE FORWARD, AS WELL AS SEVERAL ANTHOLOGIES INCLUDING BEST AMERICAN ESSAYS AND BEST AMERICAN MAGAZINE WRITING. 
          SHE HAS A BA AND AN MFA FROM SARAH LAWRENCE AS WELL AS AN MFA IN DECORATIVE ARTS FROM PARSONS. 
          HER BOOK AND WIELD A HISTORY OF THE WHEELCHAIR WAS PUBLISHED BY THE COOPER HEWITT MUSEUM. 
          SHE HAS TAUGHT NONFICTION WRITING AT SARAH LAWRENCE AND AT THE COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY NARRATIVE MEDICINE PROGRAM. 
          SHE'S NOW WRITING A CHILDREN'S NOVEL AND WILL BE READING A SHORT ESSAY ABOUT HER FATHER. 
          PLEASE WELCOME. 
          YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO'VE LIVED IN THE RIVER TOWNS FOR 40 YEARS HERE. 
          SO , I KNOW I'M NOT ALONE. 
          PRETTY CLOSE THIS WAY. 
          IS THAT BETTER? OH, I HAVE TO MOVE IT DOWN. 
          OKAY. 
          CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? YEAH. 
          OKAY, SO THANKS FOR THE INTRODUCTION AND FOR ASKING ME TO READ AND THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO SHOWED UP TO HEAR THIS WONDERFUL GROUP OF WRITERS. 
          UM, I'M GOING TO, UH, JUST SAY A FEW WORDS OF INTRODUCTION ABOUT THIS ESSAY. 
          UM, IT WAS PUBLISHED IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT FORM ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO IN THE MAGAZINE, LILI, WHICH SEEMS POPULAR TONIGHT UNDER THE TITLE FLESH AND BLOOD, MY FATHER'S MEAT GRINDER. 
          AND HE FEATURED PHOTOS THAT WERE TAKEN BY HASTINGS OWN, UH, JEREMY DINE AND, UM, AND IT WAS, HE TOOK PICTURES OF MY PARENTS' ANTIQUE, UM, CAST IRON GRINDER. 
          UM, THE ESSAY IS ABOUT MY PARENTS' KOSHER HOME AND THE PROCESS OF MAKING MEAT COMPLETELY KOSHER OR CLEAN BY SALTING IT OVERNIGHT AND DRAINING IT OF BLOOD. 
          THAT'S MOST OF IT AND I THINK IT'LL BE PRETTY OBVIOUS AS AS I READ IT. 
          UM, BUT THE VERY END OF THE ESSAY IS BASED ON THE LAST SONG IN THE PASSOVER HAGADA CALLED . 
          UM, THE SEDER IS, YOU KNOW, THE, UH, STORY OF REDEMPTION. 
          IT'S A BIT LIKE THE CHILDREN'S SONG ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO SWALLOWED THE FLY. 
          ONE ANIMAL EATS ANOTHER ANIMAL, WHICH IS SWALLOWED BY ANOTHER, BUT IT'S A LITTLE BIT MORE COMPLEX. 
          IN THIS SONG, A MAN BUYS A GOAT, IT GETS EATEN BY A CAT. 
          A DOG BITES THE CAT AND ON AND ON. 
          BUT IN THIS SONG, ONCE THE ANIMALS BITE OR EAT EACH OTHER, OTHER NON-ANIMAL PLAYERS APPEAR. 
          SO A STICK BEATS THE DOG, FIRE CONSUMES THE STICK, WATER PUTS OUT THE FIRE AND OX DRINKS THE WATER. 
          THEN THE BUTCHER OR WHAT WE CALL THE SHOW HATE KILLS THE OX. 
          THE ANGEL OF DEATH THEN COMES AND SLAUGHTERS THE BUTCHER, AND FINALLY GOD DESTROYS THE ANGEL OF DEATH. 
          SO IT'S BOTH AN AM AMUSING AND A POWERFUL WAY TO END THE SEDER. 
          UM, AND JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND FOR THE LAST, UH, PART OF MY ESSAY EMBOSSED. 
          ON THE GRINDER'S FACE IS THE WORD UNIVERSAL. 
          BUT GROWING UP I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO HAD ONE OR HAD MEAT THAT SPILLED BLOOD LIKE MY MOTHER'S DID. 
          IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, SLABS OF VAIN BEEF AND LAMB T TRICKLED WITH WHITE FAT, HEAVILY SPRINKLED WITH COARSE SALT, DRAINING FROM A SLATTED WOODEN BOARD INTO THE DOUBLE BOLD SINK DOWN THROUGH THE PIPES INTO THE BOWELS OF THE SUBURBAN HOUSE. 
          MEAT SEEMED AN INTIMATE THING AND THE WAY YOUR FAMILY DEALT WITH IT WAS NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. 
          IT WAS IN THE EARLY TO MID SIXTIES WHEN I GREW UP LIKE SEX OR YOUR PARENTS' DIVORCE OR THE CHILD OR NEIGHBORS HAD PLACED IN AN INSTITUTION. 
          UNMENTIONABLE, WE KNEW WE WERE KOSHER. 
          YET I DON'T REMEMBER EVER CONFIDING TO ANYONE THAT THERE WAS BLOOD IN OUR KITCHEN AT NIGHT, NOR DID I MENTION THE FAT FINGERS 
          [00:40:01]
OF FLESH THAT FORCED THEIR WAY THROUGH THE GUTS OF THE GRINDER OR THE LIVERS MY MOTHER PLACED IN THE TWO HANDLED GRILL THAT SHE HELD OVER THE GAS BURNER TO IT TURNED BLACK AND GLOWED. 
          THESE WERE RITUALS THAT SIPHONED OFF THE FINAL LIFEBLOOD, THE FLICKER OF THE SPIRIT THAT STILL REMAINED IN THE FLESH. 
          PERHAPS THE INTIMACY CAME FROM SOME SHAME ABOUT EATING MEAT AT ALL. 
          INDEED, IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN IN PARADISE, IT IS SAID MAN AND WOMAN WERE VEGETARIAN. 
          TO ME, BLOOD SEEMED A GUILTY SECRET. 
          MY MOTHER WAS THE ONE WHO DID THE KOSHER RING, BUT MEAT WAS MY FATHER'S HERITAGE IN THE OLD COUNTRY IN COMMON, PEALS UKRAINE. 
          IN THE PALE OF SETTLEMENT, MY GRANDFATHERING NAFTALI WAS A KOSHER BUTCHER, TRAINED IN A STRANGE AND TECHNICAL ART. 
          AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW, JACOB, THE BIBLICAL ONE, WRESTLES WITH AN ANGEL ONE NIGHT BEFORE MEETING UP WITH HIS TWIN BROTHER, ESAU FROM WHOM HE'D STOLEN THEIR FATHER'S BIRTHRIGHT. 
          THE ANGEL WHO IS BOTH A LITERAL BEING IN JACOB'S CONSCIENCE WOUNDS JACOB IN THE THIGH. 
          THIS INJURY LEADS CENTURIES LATER TO AN ADDENDUMS FOR LAWS OF KASHRUT. 
          NOT ONLY ARE MANY ANIMALS NOT KOSHER, NOT ONLY MUST THE KOSHER ONES BE SLAUGHTERED HUMANELY AND QUICKLY WITH A KNIFE TO THE THROAT. 
          NOT ONLY DOES THE MEAT HAVE TO BE SALTED AND DRAINED OF BLOOD BEFORE EATEN, BUT THE SCIATIC NERVE AND MUCH OF THE SURROUNDING THIGH MUSCLE MUST BE EXCISED BECAUSE THIS WAS WHERE JACOB WAS INJURED DURING HIS FIGHT. 
          BECAUSE OF HIS CENTRAL ROLE IN RITUAL, THE SLAUGHTERER OR BUTCHER OR SHHE WAS AN IMPORTANT FIGURE IN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY. 
          IN SMALL TOWNS IN EUROPE, THE RABBI AND SHOHET WERE OFTEN THE SAME PERSON. 
          HE HAD TO BE NOT ONLY WELL-TRAINED IN JEWISH LAW, BUT ALSO PIOUS AND OF COURSE PATRIARCHAL AS ORTHODOX JUDAISM IS THE SHAHE HAD TO BE A MAN. 
          IT MADE SENSE IN OUR, IN OUR HOUSEHOLD. 
          THE BUYING OF MEAT WAS AN IMPORTANT JOB, NOT SOMETHING CERTAINLY RELEGATED TO MY MOTHER. 
          WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER LANDED IN THIS COUNTRY, WHEN MY GRANDFATHER LANDED IN THIS COUNTRY, HE SET UP A BUTCHER STORE FIRST ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE AND THEN AFTER AN ILL-FATED STINT FIRST AS THE OWNER OF A STABLE AND THEN A BED SPRINGING FACTORY ON HUNDRED 22ND STREET. 
          HE OPENED ANOTHER STORE, SOUTHERN KOSHER MEAT IN THE BRONX ON FEATHER BED LANE. 
          DURING THE DEPRESSION YEARS WHEN NATALI BECAME ILL AND ALMOST LOST THE STORE, MY FATHER, STILL A TEENAGER, TOOK OVER THE BOOKS. 
          I STILL HAVE SOME OF THE NOW CRUMBLING ACCOUNT LOGS, AS WELL AS RECEIPTS FROM SUPPLIERS LIKE IDA FRANK TERR AND SAM GOLDSTEIN ON MOUNT EDEN AVENUE, WHO CHARGED FOR A SIDE OF YIELD. 
          AND SO MY FATHER, WHO EVENTUALLY USED HIS FACILITY WITH NUMBERS TO WORK AS A BUSINESSMAN, WAS LEFT WITH HIS FATHER'S INHERITANCE ALL HIS LIFE. 
          HE RETAINED A FEELING FOR MEAT AND AN INTEREST IN LOOKING AT IT AND JUDGING IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT. 
          THESE DAYS, MOST PEOPLE DON'T SPEND TIME DOING THAT, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN USED TO THROWING THE LEG OF LAMB INTO THEIR SHOPPING CARTS IN THE SUPERMARKET, LET ALONE THE VEGETARIANS. 
          WHEN YOU OBSERVE KOUS, YOU'RE ALREADY A STEP, MAYBE A FEW STEPS AWAY FROM THAT. 
          YOU DON'T GET YOUR MEAT IN THE SUPERMARKET, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T IN THOSE DAYS. 
          YOU ALREADY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MEAT MUCH MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE. 
          AND THE THINKING ALMOST NEVER TAKES PLACE IN A REGULAR GROCERY STORE. 
          EVEN NOW. 
          IN THOSE YEARS, WE ALWAYS WENT TO A KOSHER BUTCHER A FEW MILES FROM OUR HOUSE NEAR MOD AVENUE IN FAR ROCKAWAY, WHEN IT WAS STILL A LARGELY JEWISH PLACE AND THERE WAS A BUSTLING SHOPPING AVENUE AND IT WAS AN EVENT. 
          WE'D PICK UP MY FATHER AT THE SUBWAY STATION, ALL OF US FOUR GIRLS AND MY MOTHER A FEW MINUTES EARLIER THAN USUAL, AND WE'D PARK IN THE LOT AT THE BACK OF LOWMAN'S AND CUT THROUGH THE STORE. 
          AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BIG AVENUE KGA OR CENTRAL WAS SAM'S. 
          IT WAS RUN BY A BIG JEWISH MAN WITH A MUSTACHE, PERHAPS THE SAME SOUND FROM THE BRONX. 
          SINCE MY FATHER SEEMED COMFORTABLY INTIMATE WITH HIM, MY FATHER GOT ALONG WITH SAM IN THE USUAL WAY. 
          HE GOT ALONG WITH EVERYONE. 
          HE FOUGHT WITH HIM. 
          WHAT DID THEY FIGHT ABOUT? WHO KNOWS THE QUALITY OF MEAT, THE AMOUNT OF FAT SAND MANAGED TO CUT AWAY THE BEAUTY OR LACK THEREOF IN A LOIN OR A CHOP OR A LEG OF LAMB. 
          ABOVE ALL THE PRICE FOR HOW COULD ONE NOT BARTER FOR SOMETHING SO PRECIOUS, PERHAPS NO ONE, BUT MY FATHER WAS AS CAPABLE OF MAKING A SIMPLE TRANSACTION INTO A LIFE OR DEATH. 
          MELODRAMA. 
          YET IT WAS LIKE A PLAY WHERE EVEN THOUGH ONE MEMBER WAS WIELDING A KNIFE, ONE COULD NEVER TAKE THE THREATS TOO SERIOUSLY. 
          I DID NOT MAKE TROUBLE OR NOISE AT THE BUTCHER STORE. 
          NONE OF US DID. 
          [00:45:01]
I PUSHED THE SAWDUST BACK AND FORTH WITH THE SIDE OF MY SHOE. 
          THERE WAS SOMETHING MAGICAL IN THE WAY IT SEPARATED AND THEN CLUNG TOGETHER AS THOUGH MY MAGNETISM. 
          I'D LOOK OUT ON THE STREET WHERE IT WAS GROWING DARK. 
          I'D THINK OF HOW DISGUSTING THE PIECE OF TONGUE WAS SITTING THERE IN THE GLASS CASE, A REAL TONGUE PUT OUT OF A COW'S MOUTH. 
          , A FISH MONGER ABOUT WHO I WHOM I REMEMBER LITTLE EXCEPT THAT WE NEVER BOUGHT FISH FROM HIM, OWNED HALF THE STORE. 
          I THINK I HAD FRESH FISH TWO OR THREE TIMES DURING MY CHILDHOOD, DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE LIVED SO CLOSE TO THE OCEAN. 
          THIS WAS THE ERA OF MEAT. 
          WE ATE STEAK SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK. 
          WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT AN EGGPLANT WAS. 
          FISH WAS SOMETHING YOU BOUGHT IN A FROZEN BLOCK FROM THE SUPERMARKET OR IN BREADED FISH STICK FORM AT THE BUTCHER STORE. 
          I LOOKED FOR THOSE BLEARY FISH EYES AS THOUGH LOOKING INTO THE EYES OF ALIENS, I AM CERTAINLY MISREMEMBERING THIS, THIS VISION OF MY FATHER ARRIVING HOME AFTER WE RETURNED FROM THE BUTCHER AND IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT REMOVING HIS COAT, BEGINNING TO GRIND MEAT, THROWING IN A WHOLE ONION AND SOME GARLIC. 
          BESIDES I KNOW BECAUSE THE MEAT HAD NOT BEEN PASTURED YET, SO IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE TO GRIND IT. 
          BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE GRINDING THAT SEEMED ESSENTIAL AS THOUGH IT WERE A NECESSITY THAT HAD TO BE DEALT WITH IMMEDIATELY. 
          CERTAINLY I DO KNOW THAT MY MOTHER WOULD RIGHT AWAY OPEN THE BAGS FROM THE BUTCHER, UNFOLD THE BROWN PAPER IN WHICH THE MEAT HAD BEEN WRAPPED, GRAB THE PIECES AND THROW THEM INTO A LARGE, LARGE WASH TUB FILLED WITH WATER. 
          LATER WHEN MOST OF THE BLOOD HAD BEEN WASHED OUT, SHE'D TAKE OUT THE PIECES ONE BY ONE, ASSAULT THEM, THEN SHE'D SEES THEM ONCE MORE AND SLAPPED THEM DOWN ON THE BOARD TO DRAIN. 
          IT SEEMED ONE OF THOSE INSTINCTIVE THINGS. 
          SHE JUST KNEW HOW TO DO SOMETHING WOMEN KNEW HOW TO DO. 
          I SWORE I WOULD NEVER TOUCH RAW MEAT AS IT WAS MEANT TO. 
          KRA SET OUR FAMILY APART, NOT ONLY FROM NON-JEWS, OF WHICH I KNEW FEW, BUT ALSO FROM THE LARGELY UNOBSERVANT JEWISH COMMUNITY IN WHICH WE LIVE, WHICH HAD MOSTLY LEFT BEHIND THESE ANTIQUATED CUSTOMS IN EUROPE OR BROOKLYN. 
          WE WERE SPECIAL AND SEPARATE THOSE SMART GIRLS, THOSE GIRLS WHO DID NOT RIDE IN A CAR ON THE SABBATH. 
          THE GIRLS WHO WOULD NEVER CONSIDER HANGING AROUND WITH THE ITALIAN BOYS LAUGHING AND SMOKING IN FRONT OF THE DINER ON CENTRAL AVENUE. 
          AND WE WERE ALSO THE GIRLS WHO INVITED TO A CLASSMATE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT THE HAMBURGER EXPRESS WOULD HAVE TO ACCEPT AS THE ELECTRIC TRAIN RAN DOWN THE COUNTER DELIVERING LUNCH. 
          NOT A HAMBURGER LIKE THE REST OF THE CROWD, BUT ESPECIALLY MADE IN CITED TUNA SALAD ON TOAST. 
           PETTY AS IT MAY SEEM NOW, THERE WERE DAYS I CURSED THOSE ANCIENT CUSTOMS, DEEP AND MYSTICAL AS THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN, AND JUST LONG TO BE A REGULAR CHILD. 
          MY GRANDPARENTS ARE BURIED WITH MY FATHER'S FAMILY IN QUEENS IN A HUGE CEMETERY WHERE THE GRAND CENTRAL PARKWAY IN THE LONG, LONG ISLAND EXPRESSWAY INTER INTERSECT IN THE SHADOW OF THE 1964 WORLD SPARE REMNANT, THE UNISPHERE, THE CEMETERY IS STREETS MARKED BY LITTLE WOODEN SIGNS AND POSTS AND HUNDREDS OF TOMBSTONES WITH NAMES LIKE CATS AND ROSEN AND MANDELBAUM. 
          SOME HAVE THAT SYMBOL THAT SAYS HE DIED TOO SOON WITH THE DETACHED LIMB OF THE TREE. 
          VERY FEW OF FLOWERS, BUT MANY HAVE SMALL STONES LEFT BY A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER. 
          I DON'T RECALL COMING HERE WHEN I WAS A CHILD. 
          MY PARENTS DID NOT LET US ATTEND THE BURIALS OF OUR RELATIVES. 
          AND WHEN THE FAMILY COMES DOWN FOR A FUNERAL OR UNVEILING, WE ALWAYS GET LOST. 
          BUT WE KNOW WE'RE THERE WHEN WE GET TO THE STONE ARCH IN FRONT OF THE GRAVES THAT WERE ERECTED BY THE Y OF BURIAL SOCIETY. 
          MY FAMILY IS BURIED JUST BEHIND THIS ARCH. 
          TWO ROWS BACK, WE STUMBLE ON THE UNEVEN GROUND, BUT FIND THEM. 
          MY GRANDPARENTS, ADELE AND EFT WOLFSON, MY FATHER, HIS THREE SISTERS, UH, SYLVIA, DIANA, AND ESTHER. 
          AND DIANA'S LITTLE SON, EDWARD, WHO DIED AT THE AGE OF THREE OF PNEUMONIA AND FOR WHOM IS JUST A TINY MARKER, NO HEADSTONE. 
          MY MOTHER SUBSUMED BY MY FATHER'S FAMILY IS HERE TOO. 
          NAFTALI WIDOWED EARLY, HAD LEFT UKRAINE AS A YOUNG MAN TO FIND A NEW WIFE ACROSS THE BORDER IN Y OR AUSTRIA. 
          AND IT WAS THERE IN HIS FIRST DAY WALKING ABOUT ON THE STREETS WITH A COMPANION. 
          AND HE SPOTTED A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN ON A BALCONY ABOVE THAT IS THE WOMAN I WILL MARRY. 
          HE TOLD HIS COMPANION AND EVEN WHEN HE DISCOVERED SHE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF THE MAYOR, HE WAS NOT DETERRED AS ALI, A GENTLE MAN WITH A RAMROD SPINE MARRIED HER AND THEY CAME TO AMERICA WHERE HE CONTINUED HIS WORK AS A BUTCHER AND SHE BECAME A MOTHER AND A SUFFRAGETTE. 
          THE THE ULR SECTION IN THE CEMETERY IS A STRANGE LITTLE STONE VILLAGE OF DEAD PEOPLE MADE EVEN STRANGER. 
          I THINK BY THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS NO LONGER A ULR IN EUROPE, AT LEAST NOT A JEWISH ONE. 
          THAT COMMUNITY IS AS 
          [00:50:01]
IT WERE, DEAD AND BURIED. 
          WHILE THIS ONE ODDLY LIVES ON STANDING BEFORE ALL THE GRAVES. 
          I REMEMBER MY GRANDFATHER, FATHER, MOTHER, AND MY AUNTS ALL IN ONE BREATH AND LEAVE WHATEVER STONES I CAN FIND ON THE HARD GROUND. 
          NOW I THINK ABOUT MEAT ONLY TWICE A YEAR ON PASSOVER AND HANUKKAH BEFORE PASSOVER. 
          DESPITE MY ALMOST COMPLETE LACK OF OBSERVANCE THE REST OF THE YEAR, I ENGAGE IN THE RITUALISTIC CLEANING OF MY HOUSEHOLD, CHANGING DISHES, VACUUMING MY CAR, EMPTYING POCKETS OF OLD CANDY WRAPPERS, AND FINALLY SWEEPING THE, UM, THE LEAVEN BREAD INTO A PAPER BAG WITH A FEATHER AND A WOODEN SPOON. 
          AND I BUY KOSHER MEAT FLANK IN A FATTY BRISKET FOR THE SEDER. 
          I GO TO A BUTCHER A FEW MILES FROM MY HOME IN THE SUBURBS, BUT IT IS NOTHING LIKE SAM'S. 
          HERE. 
          SARAN COATED CUTS OF BEEF AND LAMB SIT ON THEIR STYROFOAM TRAYS IN LOW DISPLAY CASES. 
          THERE'S NO COUNTER AND NO FISH. 
          IT'S A SMALL, NARROW PLACE IN A STRIPPED SHOPPING MALL. 
          THE OTHER CUSTOMERS AND I PUSH AROUND SQUEAKY SUPERMARKET WAGONS THAT SEEM TO HAVE BEEN SEQUESTERED FROM A VARIETY OF NEARBY STORES AND I EACH OTHER WEAR. 
          I AM SURE I WILL COMMIT SOME ERROR IN ER ETIQUETTE. 
          MY ONLY INTERACTION WITH THE BUTCHER HIMSELF, WHO APPEARS MOMENTARILY FROM HISTOIRE IN HIS BLOOD SPATTERED APRON IS MY MEAT REQUEST FOR A SEDER PLATE SHONE. 
          BUT MY HUSBAND WHO BUYS AND PREPARES THE BRISKET ON HANUKKAH KOSHER MOSTLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF MY OBSERVANT SISTERS AND FRIENDS, CARRIES ON MY FATHER'S TRADITION. 
          LIKE MY FATHER, HE IS A MAN OF SCIENCE IN A STUBBORN SOUL. 
          HE SPEAKS DIRECTLY TO THE BUTCHER, WHO IT IS TRUE HIDES BEHIND A SLIDING GLASS WINDOW LIKE A CASHIER IN A SKETCHY NEIGHBORHOOD AND AND GETS HIMSELF A WHOLE BRISKET WITH JUST THE RIGHT COMBINATION OF SIN AND FAT. 
          THE MEAT MAN GETS OUT HIS BIG KNIFE AND TRIMS THE BEEF AND WRAPS IT IN BROWN PAPER AND THEY HAGGLE OVER THE PRICE. 
          BUT THERE'S NO SAWDUST AND NO MELODRAMA. 
          AND EVEN THOUGH THE BRISKET MARINATED AND FUSSED OVER AND COOKED AT A SLOW BREEZE FOR HOURS AS PER DIRECTIONS IN COOK'S MAGAZINE IS MORE DELICIOUS THAN MY FATHER EVER DREAMED OF. 
          THE MEAT PRE KOSHER PRES SALTED IS NO LONGER PRE LAPERA. 
          I INHERITED THE GRINDER FROM MY MOTHER WHEN SHE DIED 20 YEARS AGO. 
          IT IS A REMINDER, LITERALLY OF FLESH AND BLOOD. 
          IT SITS IN MY MOSTLY NON-KOSHER KITCHEN, A STEELY QUIRKY RELIC OF FAMILY AND COMMUNITY IN HISTORY. 
          WHEN THE SHELF HATE THE RITUAL. 
          SLAUGHTERER WAS AS IN THE HA PASSOVER SONG, ONLY ONE STEP DOWN IN IMPORTANCE FROM THE ANGEL OF DEATH AND TWO STEPS FROM THE HOLY ONE. 
          BLESSED BE. 
          THANK YOU PENNY. 
          SO GOOD TO SEE SO MANY OF YOU HERE. 
          UM, I'M GONNA RETELL YOU THE REST OF THE SCHEDULE, JUST SO YOU KNOW, IN CASE YOU'RE HERE FOR SOMEONE IN PARTICULAR. 
          HOPEFULLY YOU'LL STAY FOR EVERYONE. 
          BUT NEXT IS PIO GIANOPOULOS. 
          I'LL INTRODUCE HIM A SECOND. 
          THEN BARBARA FEINBERG, THEN STEVE ZEIT. 
          LYNN SCHIDLER. 
          RICHARD SHOTTER. 
          AND LAST SEAN TAGGART WITH A PUPPET SHOW IN THAT CORNER. 
          OKAY, SO LEMME READ THIS TOO WITH READING GLASSES. 
          SO OPIS, UM, WHO BY THE WAY, HAS BOOKS FOR SALE AT THAT TABLE IN THE BACK, IF YOU WANNA MEET HIM AFTERWARDS ABOUT THAT IS THE AUTHOR OF THE STORY COLLECTION, HOW TO GET INTO OUR HOUSE AND WHERE WE KEEP THE MONEY. 
          AND THE NOVELLA A FAMILIAR BEAST. 
          HIS WRITING HAS APPEARED WIDELY IN PUBLICATIONS INCLUDING TIN HOUSE MC, SWEENEY'S LITERARY HUBS SALON, AND THE LOS ANGELES REVIEW OF BOOKS. 
          A LONGTIME BOOK EDITOR. 
          HE'S THE CO-FOUNDER AND EDITORIAL DIRECTOR OF THE NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB, AN OFFER INSIDER WHERE HE CHAMPIONS GREAT NONFICTION AND THE WRITERS BEHIND IT. 
          HE'LL BE READING AN EXCERPT FROM HIS NOVEL IN PRO IN PROGRESS. 
          HE CAN LEARN MORE ABOUT HIS WORK AT HIS WEBSITE AND ON HIS, WE'LL BE KEEPING THE AUTHOR BIOS UP ON DESTINATION HASTINGS.ORG ALL WEEKEND. 
          IF YOU WANNA CHECK OUT THOSE LINKS. 
          AND PLEASE WELCOME CONNIE. 
          I WOULD. 
          HEY, EVERYBODY, HOW'S IT GOING? I'M JUST GONNA, UH, I'M REALLY GLAD THERE'S A MIC BECAUSE I'M, IT'S SOFT SPOKEN, SO THERE WE GO. 
          IF YOU CAN'T HEAR ME, JUST IF AT ANY POINT IT'S JUST REALLY QUIET AND YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT TO HEAR IT, JUST RAISE YOUR HAND AND I'LL JUST LIKE GET CLOSE TO THE MIC. 
          I WAS WONDERING, DOES ANYBODY ELSE HEAR THAT TRAINING, THOSE THREE CHIMES? IT'S LIKE EVERY 30 SECONDS OF CHIMES TO GET FANCY. 
          SO DOES ANY, ANY IDEA WHERE IT COMES FROM? SHOULD WE DO A LITTLE PHONE TRIP? LET'S SEE. 
          IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S COMING FROM OVER. 
          HERE'S EVERY 30 SECONDS. 
          IT'S ABOUT 18 SECONDS. 
          19, 20. 
          I FEEL LIKE IT'S OVER HERE. 
          10. 
          IT'S ALL RIGHT. 
          THERE'S A 32ND 
          [00:55:01]
COUNTDOWN, SO IT'S NOT, ALRIGHT. 
          I GUESS IT'S DONE. 
          THERE WAS A LITTLE CHIMING, LIKE A OKAY. 
          ALRIGHT, SO I WASN'T CRAZY THOUGH, RIGHT? SOMEBODY ELSE DID HEAR IT. 
          OKAY, THANK YOU. 
          UM, AS, UH, AS IT WAS MENTIONED, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS BOOK. 
          IT'S A BIG NOVEL. 
          IT'S BASED ON MY FAMILY. 
          UM, THERE WE GO. 
          AND, UH, BUT, UM, I USUALLY WRITE SHORT STORIES. 
          SO I MENTION THIS ONLY BECAUSE I'M READING THE FIRST FEW PAGES OF THE BOOK, RIGHT? AND IT'S LIKE A 450 PAGE FAMILY SAGA THAT MULTIPLE GENERATIONS. 
          AND WHEN YOU WRITE A SHORT STORY, IT'S SUCH A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE, RIGHT? IT'S, UH, WELL, AT LEAST THE WAY I WRITE THEM, RIGHT? IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU'RE SNEAKING WELL INTO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE. 
          YOU'RE LIKE, BUR YOU'RE JUST DOING A LITTLE THING, THEN YOU SNEAK OUT, RIGHT? IT'S LIKE IN AND OUT. 
          UM, WHEREAS WITH A, A BOOK, A BIG SAGA, YOU'RE JUST LIKE CRACKING OPEN THE WORLD. 
          SO, UM, IF IT FEELS OPEN-ENDED, THAT'S DELIBERATE  JUST STARTING OUT. 
          UH, AND DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT GONNA BE SUPER LONG. 
          I, I'M SURE I FRIGHTENED YOU IN THAT FOUR 50, UH, PAGES, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY A PRETTY, PRETTY SHORT EXIT 'CAUSE I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, WHICH IS LIKE THE WORST PLACE TO BE WHEN YOU DO A READING. 
          SO I'M TRYING TO KEEP IT KIND OF LEAN. 
          OKAY. 
          UM, CHAPTER ONE AND IT'S GOT A TITLE. 
          IT'S CALLED THE DOLL. 
          THAT'S THE NAME OF THE CHAPTER. 
          OKAY. 
          ALL THE CHILDREN KNEW THE STORY ABOUT HOW THEIR FATHER LOVED THEIR MOTHER SO MUCH. 
          HE BROKE HER RIB. 
          THEY USED TO CLAMOR FOR IT WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG, HUNGRY FOR TALES FROM THAT MYSTERIOUS EARLY TIME BEFORE THEY EXISTED. 
          THE INJURY OCCURRED A YEAR AFTER THEIR MOTHER MOVED TO AMERICA TO MARRY THEIR FATHER. 
          NIKLOS DIMAS CAME TO THE UNITED STATES IN 1962. 
          A TEMPESTUOUS, RESTLESS, 19-YEAR-OLD GREAT KID, EAGER TO ESCAPE THE ENDURING ARGUMENTS, AGGRAVATIONS AND ENTRAPMENTS OF FAMILY. 
          HIS FATHER AND GRANDFATHER HAD BECOME NATURALIZED WHILE LIVING AND WORKING IN CHICAGO DECADES EARLIER. 
          AND THOUGH THE TWO GENERATIONS OF DEMOCRACY LAND EVENTUALLY RETURNED TO GREECE, THE ELDER TO RETIRE ON THE HARD EARNED PROCEEDS FROM WINNING A RESTAURANT, BE YOUNGER TO START A FAMILY, NICOS WOULD RETRACE THEIR PATH TO AMERICA. 
          THIS TIME, HOWEVER, LANDING IN DOVER, NEW HAMPSHIRE, WHERE A COMMUNITY OF GREEK IMMIGRANTS, INCLUDING A HANDFUL OF DISTANT COUSINS, TOOK HIM IN IN 19 65, 3 YEARS INTO HIS STAY NICO'S JOURNEY BACK TO GREECE FOR THE SUMMER. 
          HE NEVER TOLD HIS CHILDREN WHAT COMPELLED HIM TO VISIT THE COUNTRY THAT HE HAD GLADLY REPLACED. 
          IT CERTAINLY WASN'T A LONGING FOR HOME. 
          LIKE MANY IMMIGRANTS, HE WAS A FIERCE PATRIOT AND WOULD PASSIONATELY DEFEND HIS ADOPTED COUNTRY AGAINST THE CRITICISM FROM HIS CHILDREN. 
          ONCE THEY GOT TO COLLEGE AND HAD THE UNSETTLING REALIZATION THAT THE UNITED STATES, WHICH THEY HAD BEEN RAISED BY THEIR FATHER TO ADMIRE AS THE GREATEST NATION IN THE WORLD, A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY AND FREEDOM WITHOUT EQUAL HAD ALSO DONE SOME PRETTY S****Y THINGS. 
          IN ITS TIME THAT SUMMER, NICO SOUGHT OUT HIS OLD HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND, STANUS NIA SHORT. 
          FRED NIA HAD COME UP FROM HER QUIET SOUTHERN VILLAGE IN THE PEONS TO LIVE WITH HER TWO OLDER BROTHERS IN ATHENS, AND AS WAS THE CUSTOM TO TAKE CARE OF THEM UNTIL THEY MARRIED AND FOUND WIVES WHO WOULD ASSUME THE TASK. 
          IT WAS STILL A TEENAGER. 
          WHEN SHE ARRIVED IN THE CITY, NIA QUICKLY ASSERTED HERSELF, AND SOON SHE WAS MANAGING EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR BROTHER'S LIVES FROM THE MEALS THEY ATE, TO THE CLOTHES THEY WORE TO THE FRIENDS THEY COULD BRING BACK TO THE TINY INDIAN APARTMENT. 
          SHE KEPT SCRUPULOUSLY CLEAN IN THE MIDST OF ALL THIS ACTIVITY. 
          VINIA ALSO ATTENDED A NEARBY JUNIOR COLLEGE WHERE SHE RECEIVED AN ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE. 
          SHE PARLAYED INTO A JOB AT AN ACCOUNTING FIRM IN PNEUMONIA, A BUSY CENTRAL SQUARE IN CAPITOL. 
          COINCIDENTALLY, AMMONIA WAS ONLY A BLOCK AWAY FROM NICORA'S FAMILY'S ATHENIAN APARTMENT. 
          DUE TO HER BACKGROUND, HOWEVER, ELIA'S PARENTS WERE FARMERS. 
          WHILE HER SOON-TO-BE HUSBAND'S FAMILY LIVED OFF THE PROCEEDS OF RENTAL PROPERTIES, SHE WOULDN'T ACTUALLY BE INVITED INTO THEIR ATHENIAN CITY RESIDENCE UNTIL 1971, A YEAR WHEN SHE PRODUCED HER FIRST CHILD, AND BY SIRENING, HER GRANDCHILD ESTABLISHED A RIVAL CURRENCY. 
          BUT IN THE SUMMER OF 1965, A PROSPECT OF MARRIAGE TO NICOS WENT MOSTLY UNIMAGINED BY VENA. 
          IT FELT LIKE A LIFETIME HAD PASSED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, AND THOUGH THEY HAD CORRESPONDED AFTER NICOS MOVED TO AMERICA, SHE KNEW BETTER THAN TO PLACE HER FAITH IN A PILE OF LOVE LETTERS. 
          EASY TO SAY HER FATHER USED HARDER TO DO LIKE HER FATHER. 
          EO WAS A PLANNER WITH A MINE THAT SWIFTLY SORTED THINGS INTO OPTIMAL PLACEMENTS AND JUDGED THEM BY DEGREES OF PROBABILITY. 
          IT WAS A CASUAL PRAGMATISM THAT DEVELOPS FROM A CHILDHOOD SPENT ON A FARM WHERE EVERYTHING ROUTINELY FAILS. 
          THE LAMB IS STILLBORN FOR CROP, RUINED BY FROST. 
          THE ROOF COLLAPSES AND ANY KIND OF SUCCESS REQUIRES PRACTICALITY, STRATEGY AND PERSISTENCE, EVEN SUCCESS AND LOVE. 
          NICOS VENIA ARRANGED TO MEET IN COAC NEAR THE BASE OF AVIOS. 
          A FEW MONTHS EARLIER TO MUCH PRIDE AND EXCITEMENT, THE CITY HAD INAUGURATED A FUNICULAR. 
          THE SHINY CABLE CAR RODE ALONG 200 METERS OF TRUCK CARRYING PASSENGERS 
          [01:00:01]
AT THE SIDE OF THE LIMESTONE MOUNTAIN, SORRY, THE LIMESTONE MOUNTAIN, AND DEPOSITING THEM AT THE HIGHEST POINT IN THE CITY TO ADMIRE A PANORAMIC VIEW. 
          THEN YOU HAD BEEN CURIOUS TO SEE IT SINCE IT OPENED. 
          AND NICO'S INVITATION TO MEET THERE CARRIED WITH IT THE TWIN ENDEARMENTS OF SENTIMENT AND NOVELTY. 
          IT WAS WINDY AND COOL FOR A JULY NIGHT, AND AS ATED BY THE FUNICULAR STATION ON ANTI PEARL STREET, SHE PULLED A WHITE SHAWL FROM HER PURSE AND WRAPPED IT AROUND HER SHOULDERS AS A CHILD, PEOPLE HAD CALLED HER KUKLA DULL, AND EVEN NOW, THE NICKNAME STILL FIT. 
          SHE WAS SMALL, JUST UNDER FIVE FEET TALL WITH A SLIM GIRLISH BODY. 
          HER SKIN WAS FAIR, ALMOST PALE AND CONTRASTED AGAINST HER DARK SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR. 
          HER FEATURES DELICATE AND PRETTY, PARTICULARLY HER EYES, WHICH TURNED DOWN SLIGHTLY AT THE CORNERS. 
          VEN SPOTTED NICO'S LAST IN A PACK OF ASCENDING PEOPLE AND WAVED. 
          HE WAVED BACK AND THEN WITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACT, PICKED HIS NOSE. 
          THIS WAS A PART OF THE STORY THAT USUALLY WENT UNMENTIONED. 
          AND YET FOR NIA, THE CARELESS MOMENT WAS ENDEARING IN HER SOCIAL CIRCLE IN ATHENS, MOSTLY COLLEAGUES OF HER BROTHER, DEMETRIUS, A MEDICAL STUDENT AT ATHENS GENERAL HOSPITAL. 
          SHE HAD FOUND HERSELF SURROUNDED BY MEN, SCRAMBLING TO IMPRESS HER, BUT THEY WERE SO EAGER TO BE ADMIRED THAT IT CAME ACROSS AS NEEDY AND WOMAN ISH TO HER. 
          WHEREAS NICOS, DESPITE HIS GOOD LOOKS, SEEMED TO HOLD LITTLE INTEREST IN ADULATION. 
          IT WAS THIS TRAIT THAT ATTRACTED NIA AND EMBOLDEN BEARING THAT SHE FIRST CONFUSED WITH CONFIDENCE, BUT WHICH HERALDED, IN FACT, ITS OPPOSITE. 
          A STRAIN OF INDECISIVENESS THAT ULTIMATELY WOULD BURDEN HER IN THE YEARS TO COME. 
          ON THAT CHILLY JULY EVENING, HOWEVER, WRAPPED IN THE THIN WHITE SHAWL IN THE OUS HEART OF ATHENS, GAZING DOWN AT HER FUTURE HUSBAND AS HE SEARCHED THE CROWD TO CLAIM HER ONCE MORE. 
          NOW THAT THE CONSTRAINTS OF CHILDHOOD HAD BEEN CAST AWAY, ALL SHE COULD THINK OF HERSELF WAS ALL SHE COULD THINK TO HERSELF WAS, HERE COMES A MAN. 
          THEN. 
          YEAH, HE CRIED, BRACING HER. 
          HE HAD SHAVED THAT MORNING. 
          THE TH STUBBLE ALREADY COVERED HIS CHIN AND CHEEKS. 
          IT WRAPPED, WRAPPED AGAINST HER SKIN AS HE KISSED HER ON THE RIGHT AND LEFT CHEEKS, YOU MADE IT. 
          SHE SAID, I COULDN'T FIND THEOSE. 
          HE LAUGHED. 
          I HAD ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS TWICE. 
          EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS A TOURIST OR STUPID. 
          HOW DO YOU LOSE A MOUNTAIN? IT'S REALLY JUST A HILL THAT SHE SAID, REASSURINGLY, MY GOD, LOOK AT YOU. 
          HE LEANED BACK AND STUDIED HER WITH THE INTENSITY OF WATER, SEARCHING FOR A CRACK. 
          SHE FELT HERSELF BLUSH. 
          I CUT MY HAIR. 
          SHE SAID, I DON'T LIKE IT. 
          IT'S VERY MODERN. 
          DEMETRIUS TOOK ME, SHE SAID, THEN THOUGHT TO ADD MY BROTHER BEHIND THEM. 
          THE CABLE CAR SWAYED IN THE HEAVY WIND SHUTTERING AS IT NEARED THE BL LANDING PLATFORM, THE BRAKE LINE SHRIEKED AND FROM INSIDE, ONE OF THE RIDERS LOST HIS BALANCE AND COLLIDED WITH THE GLASS. 
          NIKOS REACHED FOR HIS WALLET. 
          I'LL BUY HIS TICKETS. 
          HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD WE RIDE? 2, 3, 4. 
          I THINK ONCE IS FIVE. 
          HE CRIED. 
          MAGNANIMOUSLY SWEEPING AWAY TOWARD THE TICKET WINDOW, BUT HE RETURNED A FEW MINUTES LATER, EMPTY HANDED DUE TO THE RISING WINDS. 
          SERVICE WOULD BE SUSPENDED. 
          TOO BAD WE MISSED IT. 
          VANYA SAID. 
          IT'S STILL GOING. 
          NICO SNAPPED IN MOTION TOWARD THE SHIVERING CABLE CAR FOR THE PEOPLE OF TICKETS. 
          IT'S THE NEW PEOPLE THEY WON'T LET ON. 
          SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED BUT CAREFUL TO HIDE IT. 
          RECOGNIZING THE PINCHED INDIGNANT EXPRESSION ON NICO'S FACE. 
          HIS ANGER SHE REMEMBERED WAS LIKE A WILDFIRE SPREADING WHAT? IT ENCOUNTERED THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS. 
          FRUSTRATION, DISBELIEF, SYMPATHY. 
          ANYTHING COULD FUEL IT. 
          THE ONLY WAY TO EXTINGUISH IT WAS TO WAIT IT OUT. 
          THEN INACTIVITY SMOTHER THE FLAME. 
          THE GUY SHUT THE WINDOW. 
          THE SECOND I SHOWED UP, NICO SAID, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE MURMURED NONCOMMITTALLY? HE LET THE PEOPLE RIGHT BEFORE ME GO. 
          WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? WE DON'T MATTER. 
          GU BLEW A SHEET OF LOOSE NEWSPAPER AGAINST HIS CALF. 
          WHO MADE HIM THE JUDGE? WHO DOES HE THINK HE'S THAT HE CAN SLAM A DOOR OR NOT. 
          NICOS TRAILED OFF, DISTRACTED BY SHAKING HIS FOOT. 
          THE NEWSPAPER CONTINUED TO CLINGING TO HIM, ENERGIZED BY THE WIND WITH A SCOWL OF CONCENTRATION. 
          HE STEPPED ON THE SHEET WITH HIS OTHER FOOT AND PINNED IT TO THE GROUND. 
          THEN HE SWUNG HIS FOOT BACKWARD, SHEARING IT IN HALF, FREED THE TWO PIECES SCATTERED LIKE CHILDREN. 
          WHEN HE LOOKED AT THE VENUE, SHE SAW HIS DARK EYES HAD SOFTENED. 
          HIS SKIN AROUND HIS STRONG FULL LIP. 
          MOUTH WAS SMOOTH AGAIN. 
          HE WAS BACK. 
          SHE SMILED AND TOOK HIS HAND. 
          LET'S WALK TO THE TOP. 
          HE NODDED AND LET HER LEAD THE WAY. 
          AND THERE'S JUST A LITTLE EXTRA BIT A SPACE BREAK THOUGH THERE. 
          THE TRAIL AT THE MOUNTAIN WAS LONG AND TWISTING WITH NO SIGNS TO GUIDE THEM AND SHORTCUTS, OBSERVABLE ONLY AFTER THE FACT. 
          DESPITE THE DIFFICULTY OF THE ASCENT, VENUE, WAS GRATEFUL THAT THE WIND HAD FORCED THEM TO WALK. 
          IT REMINDED HER OF WHEN THEY WERE KIDS, AND NIKOS WOULD ACCOMPANY HER HOME FROM SCHOOL. 
          SHE HAD BEEN RAISED IN A VILLAGE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF MEGALOPOLIS, THE LARGEST TOWN LITERALLY IN THE AREA WHERE NICO'S FAMILY HAD LIVED, AND WHICH CONTAINED THE ONLY HIGH SCHOOL FOR MILES UNTIL THE AGE OF 14. 
          VENUE. 
          AND THE OTHER VILLAGE CHILDREN WERE TAUGHT IN THEIR LOCAL CHURCH 
          [01:05:01]
AS WERE THE CHILDREN IN THE SURROUNDING VILLAGES. 
          BUT ONCE THEY WERE OLD ENOUGH, IF THEIR FAMILIES PERMITTED IT, THEY COULD MAKE THEIR WAY TO MEGALOPOLIS TO STUDY AT THE HIGH SCHOOL. 
          IT WAS HERE THAT THE TWO HAD MET. 
          AND WHERE NICOS WOULD VOLUNTEER TO ROCK VENUE HOME AFTER SCHOOL. 
          AT FIRST IT HAD BEEN FORBIDDEN. 
          HER TWO OLDER BROTHERS INSURED THAT. 
          BUT BY THE TIME SHE TURNED 16, DEMETRIUS HAD LEFT FOR COLLEGE IN ATHENS, AND STAVOS HAD JOINED THE ARMY, SO THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT TO STOP HER. 
          DURING THE LONG WALK, BEYA WOULD CHATTER CHEERFULLY WHILE NIKOS NODDED ALONG. 
          AND THEN ONCE THEY REACHED THE OLIVE GROVE THAT MARKED THE BORDER OF HER VILLAGE, NIKOS WOULD SILENTLY TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK TOWARD TOWN LOPING ALONG THE DIRT ROAD LIKE A STRAY DOG. 
          NOW, HOWEVER, AS THEY SCALED THECA TOAST, NIKOS WAS UNCHARACTERISTICALLY TALKATIVE. 
          HIS HANDS FLEW IN THE AIR AND HIS HANDSOME FACE GREW ANIMATED. 
          WHILE HE RAVED ABOUT AMERICA. 
          THECA TOAST WAS IMPRESSIVE, BUT IT DIDN'T COMPARE TO NEW HAMPSHIRE'S MOUNTAINS. 
          HE TOLD HER MOUNTAIN. 
          WASHINGTON STOOD OVER A MILE HIGH. 
          IT TOOK HALF AN HOUR TO DRIVE UP TO THE PEAK. 
          AND ONCE YOU WERE THERE, THE WIND WAS SO STRONG THAT YOU WERE LUCKY IF YOU COULD WALK TO THE VISITOR CENTER WITHOUT BEING BLOWN OVER. 
          AND AMERICA, EVERYTHING WAS BIGGER AND BETTER. 
          EVEN MOTHER NATURE, THEY REACHED THE SUMMIT JUST AS THE SUN WAS SETTING THEN HAD BEEN DISCREETLY ACCELERATING HER PACE AND WAS PLEASED TO SEE THAT THEY HAD MADE IT IN TIME. 
          NICOS FOLLOWED HER TO THE EDGE WHERE A CROWD HAD GATHERED TO ADMIRE THE CITY, TINTED PINK AND YELLOW BY THE SINKING SUN'S LIGHT. 
          IN 1965, ATHENS WERE LITTLE RESEMBLANCE TO THE SPRAWLING, THE METROPOLIS THAT THE WORLD KNOWS TODAY. 
          AND UNCHECKED, A GROWTH OF GRAIN CONCRETE STRUCTURES LIKE A MOUTH OVERCROWDED LATIF. 
          IF YOU WERE ASTUTE, YOU MIGHT HAVE ANTICIPATED WHERE THE RAPID EXPANSION WAS ULTIMATELY HEADED. 
          AS OLD SINGLE STORY HOUSES WERE TORN DOWN DAILY TO BE REPLACED WITH MULTI-STORY APARTMENT BLOCKS. 
          ERECTED WITH NEITHER AUTHORIZATION OR PLANNING LEAST OF ALL RESTRAINT. 
          YET, IN THE MIDST OF THIS RECKLESS BOOM WAS ALSO A DISTINCTIVELY MEDITERRANEAN OPTIMISM, A HOPEFULNESS THAT LOOKED BEYOND THE BACK AND FORTH SQUABBLE OF AN INEXPERIENCED KING AND LIBERAL REFORMERS, AND HAD LED A HUNDRED CITIZENS AT THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN TO GAZE OUT ONTO A SCATTERING OF AMBITIOUS BUILDINGS. 
          I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD EVER LEAVE. 
          ATHENS VAN SAID AS SHE GAZED OUT TOWARD THE PINK HORIZON, SHE TILTED HER HEAD TO THE SIDE AND SIDE, NOT EVEN FOR AMERICA. 
          WAS IT A HINT, A DARE? WAS SHE SIGNALING FOR HIM TO ASK? BUT HE WAS ABOUT TO ASK. 
          IN THE YEARS TO COME, NICO WOULD INSIST THAT UNTIL THAT MOMENT ON THE SUMMIT OF THE, IT HAD NEVER CROSSED HIS MIND TO INVITE HER TO COME TO AMERICA WITH HIM, IT WAS NIA. 
          HE WOULD MAINTAIN FIRST PLAYFULLY LATER DARKLY IRRITABLY COMPLETE THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD. 
          AND THOUGH RAISED IN A FAMILY WHOSE MYTHOLOGY WAS BASED UPON SUCCESSIVE GENERATIONS OF MEN STRIKING OUT BOLDLY FOR AMERICA TO MAKE THEIRS WOULD ULTIMATELY ABDICATE THIS RESPONSIBILITY. 
          TOYA, THE LITTLE DO, WHOSE SIGH OF ADMIRATION WOULD LEAD AWAY THE OF WONDER FOR THE 30 YEARS? THANK YOU. 
          UM, NEXT UP IS BARBARA FEINBERG. 
          AND, UM, BARBARA FEINBERG IS THE FOUNDING DIRECTOR OF OUR BELOVED. 
          I ADDED THAT PART STORY SHOP, UM, A CREATIVE ARTS PROGRAM FOR KIDS IN HASTINGS. 
          SHE'S THE AUTHOR OF WELCOME TO THE LIZARD MOTEL, WHICH WAS PUBLISHED BY THE BEACON PRESS. 
          AND HER ESSAYS HAVE APPEARED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE BOSTON GLOBE, TEACHERS AND WRITERS EDUCATION NEXT AND ELSEWHERE. 
          SHE'S A RECIPIENT OF A GRANT FROM THE NEW YORK FOUNDATION OF THE ARTS AND IS MCDOWELL FELLOW. 
          BARBARA WILL BE READING FROM HER HOPEFULLY SOON TO BE FINISHED. 
          MEMOIR ENTITLED THE WOLF IN THE GARAGE. 
          UM, TELL ME IF YOU CAN HEAR WELL, . 
          OKAY. 
          IS THAT GOOD? IS THERE AN ECHO? OKAY. 
          UM, UH, THIS IS A SCENE FROM MY MEMOIR AND IT BEGINS WITH ME RUNNING DOWN SOME SNOWY STREETS. 
          I'VE JUST ENDURED ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY AT SCHOOL. 
          IT'S AROUND FIFTH GRADE. 
          UM, I HAD A VERY BULLYING BELITTLING TEACHER, AND TODAY I FELT PARTICULARLY DEFLATED AT THREE O'CLOCK AND I NEVER GOT MUCH SYMPATHY AT HOME. 
          SO ON THIS DAY, I DECIDE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S HOUSE, AND THE CHAPTER I'M CALLING REVERSAL OF FORTUNE, DAMP WIND BLOWS AT MY CLOTHES. 
          I'M NOT WEARING A COAT, SO I RUN, I LEAP OVER PUDDLES AND SWERVE AROUND PILES OF WET SNOW. 
          I'VE TUCKED A BAG OF ART SUPPLIES UNDER MY SHIRT TO KEEP THEM DRY. 
          THE LOCK ON HER FRONT DOOR IS BROKEN. 
          I HAVE TO WIND AROUND BABY CARRIAGES THAT BLOCK THE STAIRWELL. 
          I RUN UP TO SIX FLIGHTS TO 
          [01:10:01]
HER APARTMENT AND OUT OF BREATH, I RING THE BELL AND WAIT. 
          THEN A FLOATING EYE APPEARS IN THE PEEPHOLE. 
          IT'S HER FROM BEHIND THEIR DOOR COMES THE SOUND OF FLOODING FOOTSTEPS, THE OPENING OF LOCKS. 
          AND TA-DA SHIRLEY AND HER LITTLE SISTER WANDA, ARE SMILING AT ME BROADLY. 
          THEY'RE BAREFOOT EACH NO LONGER IN THEIR LIMP PINK DRESSES. 
          I KNOW THEY HAVE TO HANG THEM UP AS SOON AS THEY GET HOME. 
          AND NOW THEY'RE WEARING IDENTICAL STRETCHY PANTS AND STRIPED SHIRTS AND CLOTHES THEY WOULD NEVER WEAR AT SCHOOL. 
          THEY EACH HAVE ON WHITE HEADBANDS AND THEIR BLACK HAIRS PUSHED OFF THEIR FACES REVEALING THEIR RANDOM, FASCINATING BEAUTY MARKS DOTS AS IF THEY WERE DRAWN WITH A FINE BLACK PINK PEN. 
          THEY LOOK MAED ONLY WHEN THEY TURN. 
          CAN YOU SEE THE NAUGHTINESS OF THEIR HAIR AS IT WAS IN SCHOOL? IS HE HERE? I WHISPER. 
          NO, THE GIRLS NEARLY DANCE WITH JOY AND I'D SEEN THEIR FATHER ONLY ONCE HE'D BEEN STANDING IN THE BACK ROOM WHEN I'D COME FOR A VISIT. 
          A SMALL SLIGHT MAN WEARING AN UNDERSHIRT, STUDYING ME SUSPICIOUSLY FROM THE DOORWAY. 
          HE DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, BUT IN HIS SILENCE, HE MANAGED TO CONVEY BOTH A CERTAIN FRAGILITY AND BROODING DISCONTENT. 
          THE GIRLS WERE AFRAID OF HIM, BUT PROTECTED. 
          THEY HAD INTRODUCED ME AND HE'D NODDED AT ME. 
          FORMALLY, HIS HAIR DIDN'T MOVE. 
          HE HAD THICK BLACK HAIR DRAMATICALLY SWEPT BACK BY AT A WIDOW'S PEAK CRESTING AND PITCHING IN GLOSSY ARCS MOVIE STAR HAIR. 
          BUT RATHER THAN MAKING HIM GLAMOROUS, IT WAS A STATEMENT OF HIS FOREIGNNESS SO BLACK AND STILL MORE LIKE A CROW PERCHED ON HIS HEAD. 
          HE DIDN'T SMILE. 
          WHEN HE FINALLY WENT OUT TO WORK, THEY ACCOMPANIED HIM TO THE DOOR. 
          HE WORE A PRESSED WHITE SHIRT AND POLISHED SHOES. 
          HE WORKED IN A SHOE STORE. 
          THE FACT THAT FASCINATED ME AND THAT HE HAD UNUSUALLY TINY FEET AFTER HE WAS GONE, HE HAD TAKEN ME TO VIEW HIS SHOES LINED UP AGAINST ONE WALL, THREE TINY GLOSSY PAIRS MADE PATENT LEATHER, AND HE WASN'T HERE. 
          NOW. 
          WE WERE FREE. 
          THEY STEP ASIDE. 
          FOR ME TO ENTER THE APARTMENT IS WARM. 
          I WALK IMPORTANTLY THROUGH THE ROOMS, AND I'M SATISFIED TO SEE THE LIVING ROOM. 
          IT'S MORE OR LESS THE WAY I'D LEFT IT. 
          THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE. 
          I'D ORGANIZED A GAME WHERE WE HAD SHOVED THE TWO SAGGY COUCHES TOGETHER SO WE COULD DO ACROBATICS. 
          WE PRACTICED BALANCING ALONG THE ARMREST AND LEAPING FROM SURFACE TO SURFACE. 
          THINGS ARE STILL IN A PLEASANT JUMBLE. 
          FROM THE KITCHEN COMES THEIR BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE MOTHER WHO AS USUAL STRIKES ME AS ONLY SLIGHTLY OLDER THAN A TEENAGER. 
          HER SMILE CONVEYS THAT GREAT AFFECTION I ALWAYS FEEL FROM HER. 
          SHE WEARS A SHIRT, WAIST DRESS WITH A RED AND WHITE STRING FROM A BAKERY BOX AS A BELT TIED IN A BOW. 
          COME EAT, SHE SAYS, AS I KNEW SHE WOULD. 
          AND SURE ENOUGH, SHE SET HIS PLACE FOR ME AT THE LITTLE SCUFF TABLE, WHICH IS BY AN AIR SHAFT. 
          A LONE LIGHT BULB HANGS FROM THE CEILING. 
          WE SCRAMBLE TO OUR SEATS, A PEACEFULNESS DESCENDS NOT TALKING. 
          WE CAN HEAR THE OCCASIONAL SWOOP OF A PIGEON, THE CLINKING OF A SPOON AS SHE STIRS THE SOUP. 
          SHE'S CALM WHILE SHE WORKS BEHIND US, STIRRING, POURING SLOWLY. 
          THE CREAKY POP OF THE TOASTER. 
          SHE BRINGS THE FOOD TO THE TABLE, A BL, A BOWL OF CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP, A PIECE OF TOAST, A LUMP OF BUTTER. 
          WE BEGIN TO EAT. 
          IF I HAD HAD THE SAME MEAL AT MY HOUSE, IT WOULD BE NEARLY ACIDY. 
          BUT HERE IT IS DELICIOUS BEING POOR AND SO PLEASANT. 
          I VOWED TO BE POOR LIKE THIS WHEN I GROW UP. 
          WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TODAY? WANDA ASKS IN HER HUSKY VOICE, IT'S A VOICE MUCH DEEPER THAN YOU'D EXPECT FROM SUCH A SMALL PERSON. 
          THE GIRLS LOOK EAGERLY AT ME. 
          TWO SETS OF BLACK EYES. 
          WANDA HAS A RIM OF RED TOMATO SOUP AROUND HER MOUTH, AND I FEEL A FLOOD OF AFFECTION FOR HER. 
          LET'S MAKE GREETING CARDS AND SELL THEM. 
          I SAY THE IDEA HAD POPPED TO MIND AS I WAS RUNNING OVER. 
          I'VE POPPED MY PAPER BAG ON THE TABLE AND PULL OUT A UNICEF CARD I BROUGHT ALONG. 
          AND I LOVE THE UNICEF CARDS. 
          EACH IS MADE BY SOMEONE IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY. 
          WE GET THEM IN THE MAIL EVERY CHRISTMAS. 
          I'M UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT IT'S THE VERY BEST CHILD ARTIST IN ALL THE LAND WHO HAS MADE, WHO'S BEEN SELECTED TO MAKE THESE CARDS. 
          THE ONE I'VE BROUGHT TODAY IS OF AN AFRICAN VILLAGE WITH COZY LOOKING HUTS MADE OF GOLDEN STRAW AND VIOLET SMOKE CURLING UP FROM THEIR HOLES CUT IN THE ROOF. 
          I WONDER HOW OLD A CHILD ARTIST WAS WHO MADE THIS? NEXT I DUMP ART SUPPLIES ON THE TABLE. 
          MARKERS, CRAYONS, PAPER. 
          MY DEAR IS THAT WE WILL MAKE CARDS BY NEATLY FOLDING PAPER IN HALF. 
          STIC MY FINGERNAIL TO MAKE A NICE CRISP PRIEST. 
          AND THEN WE WILL DESIGN THE COVERS. 
          NO NEED TO WRITE MESSAGES INSIDE. 
          THE UNICEF CARDS DIDN'T HAVE MESSAGES. 
          AND THEN WE WILL SELL THEM DOOR TO DOOR. 
          I EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD MADE CARDS AND SAVED THEIR VILLAGES. 
          AND WE CAN SELL THEM TO YOUR NEIGHBORS. 
          I TELL THEM, I SUSPECT THE GIRLS AREN'T GRASPING THIS LAST PART, BUT STILL I KNOW THEY'LL DO WHATEVER I SUGGEST WHEN WE FINISH EATING AND THEIR MOTHER CLEARS THE TABLE. 
          WE SET TO WORK. 
          UNFORTUNATELY, 
          [01:15:01]
SOMETHING I ALREADY KNEW BUT COULDN'T QUITE ACCEPT. 
          SURELY AND WANDA ARE TERRIBLE ARTISTS. 
          THEY BOTH DRAW IN A STYLE SIMILAR TO HOW THEY SPEAK IN SCHOOL. 
          SO FAINTLY COLOR, BARELY ON THE PAGE AS IF THE WIND HAS BLOWN AWAY THE COLOR AND ONLY SHADOWS REMAIN. 
          PRESS HARDER. 
          I SAY ENCOURAGINGLY AS I URGE SHIRLEY TO SPEAK LOUDER IN SCHOOL AND DEMONSTRATE BY PRESSING MY CRAYONS DOWN HARD. 
          I MAKE A PRETTY GIRL. 
          HER ARMS OUTSTRETCHED, TRULY TRIES OBLIGINGLY. 
          SHE MAKES A DARK GASH ACROSS THE PAGE, BUT THE EFFORT SEEMS TO TIRE HER. 
          AFTER THE GASH, SHE RETREATS TO DRAWING ONLY WISPY LINES RISING OFF THE GASH. 
          HER HANDWRITING IS LIKE THIS TOO, SO FAINT. 
          SHE'S CONSTANTLY GETTING YELLED AT BECAUSE MRS. GOLDIN CAN'T EVEN SEE IT. 
          CAN'T EVEN READ IT FOR A MOMENT. 
          I FEEL SYMPATHY WITH THE TEACHER'S FRUSTRATION. 
          I GESTURE TO HER MOTHER TO DRAW TOO. 
          BUT SHE SAYS, SHYLEE, OH, I CAN'T DRAW. 
          AND I SAID, JUST TRY. 
          AND SHE OBLIGINGLY TAKES THE CRAYON AND SETS ABOUT DRAWING A STICK FIGURE AND A STICK FIGURE DOG, AND THEN LAYS THE CRAYON DOWN. 
          THEY STOP PERIODICALLY TO LOOK AT MY DRAWINGS, WHICH TRUTHFULLY ARE ONLY KNOCKOFFS OF DRAWINGS I'VE ALREADY DONE AT HOME, RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES. 
          THAT BIG FLUSH FLESHY WOMEN WOMAN WITH BANGS AND THICK FOREARMS APPEARS FROM MY CRAYON. 
          AND SHIRLEY AND I ARE SURPRISED AND CALL OUT OUR TEACHER'S NAME IN UNISON AND WE BOTH LAUGH. 
          I MAKE HER CROSS-EYED. 
          YOU DRAWS SO GOOD, WANDA. 
          EXPLAINS, EXPLAINS. 
          I DRAW THE TEACHER'S HUGE BLACK LOAFERS AND WE ARE ALL DELIGHTED. 
          SO THE PILE GLOWS GROWS AND MY HEART SINKS AS I REALIZE HOW BAD THE CARBS THEY ARE. 
          THEY HAND OVER OUR, THEY KEEP STOPPING TO WATCH ME DRAW, MURMUR, MURMURING AND AMAZEMENT. 
          BUT I'M DETERMINED. 
          I URGE THEM TO GO BACK TO WORK. 
          BUT STILL, THEY MAKE ONLY WISPS OF COLOR CARDS I KNOW THAT ARE NOT HIGH QUALITY ENOUGH TO SELL. 
          WHEN I DECIDE WE HAVE ENOUGH CARDS, I STAND UP. 
          OKAY, LET'S GO. 
          BOTH GIRLS LOOK AT ME IN ALARM. 
          IT MUST HAVE JUST DAWNED ON THEM THAT, I MEAN FOR US, WHAT I MEAN FOR US TO DO. 
          SHIRLEY BEGINS HER HEAD SHAKING TINY BACK AND FORTH, SHAKES AS IF TWO TENSES TO EVEN SHAKE HER HEAD FULLY. 
          WANDA DOES THE SAME. 
          SHIRLEY SHRINKS BACK IN TERROR. 
          WANDA FOLLOWS SUIT. 
          ALTHOUGH I SENSE WANDA'S MOSTLY IMITATING HER OLDER SISTER. 
          BUT SHIRLEY IS GENUINELY TERRIFIED BEGINNING HER TELLTALE TREMBLING. 
          DON'T YOU EVER GO OUT INTO THE HALL? I TRY. 
          WHAT ABOUT ON HALLOWEEN? DON'T YOU GO TRICK OR TREATING? THEY STOP SHAKING LONG ENOUGH TO SAY NO. 
          THEIR MOTHER, FOR WHATEVER REASON, SEEMS TO THINK WHATEVER I DO IS THE RIGHT THING AND TAKES A STAND. 
          SHE ENCOURAGES HER DAUGHTERS TO GO ALONG WITH ME. 
          SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND STANDS WITH A KIND OF RESOLVE I HAVE NEVER SEEN IN HER PRETTY FACE. 
          SHE'S AVOIDING EYE CONTACT WITH HER DAUGHTERS AND JUST SAYS, GO AS IF THIS IS A NECESSARY LIFE LESSON. 
          STANDING AT THE OPEN DOOR, SHE GLARES AT ME SOME SECRET CODE THAT CONVEYS A DARK UNDERBELLY TO HOW THEY DO THINGS IN THE FAMILY. 
          I SENSE THERE'S A TACIT THREAT. 
          THERE WOULD BE SOME PUNISHMENT FOR A RETREAT FOR RETURNING. 
          SHE AND I EXCHANGED MEANINGFUL LOOKS OVER THE TOPS OF ITS DAUGHTER'S SCRUFFY HEADS AS THEY AND I MARCH OUT. 
          THE GIRLS HAVE HARDLY PUT ON THEIR PINK BEDROOM SLIPPERS. 
          AND NOW THEY'RE SO TERRIFIED IN THE HALL. 
          THEY GRIP EACH OTHER AS THEY WALK, AS IF THEY'RE WALKING IN A NIGHTMARE THROUGH A HAUNTED HOUSE. 
          THEY'RE BOTH TREMBLING. 
          APPARENTLY. 
          WANDA IS A TREMBLER TOO. 
          THE LOBBY SEEMS TO SHAKE. 
          I WOULD'VE THOUGHT THEY WERE OVERDOING IT, PLAY, ACTING THE DRAMA IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE MODELED FLESH RISING ON BOTH OF THEIR NECKS AND SPOTTING THEIR FACES. 
          I'M NERVOUS TOO, BUT DON'T, I DON'T LET MYSELF SUCCUMB. 
          I I I'M JUST NEEDS THEIR ABJECT TERROR. 
          I HAVE THE FEELING THEY'RE ALSO EXCITED, AND THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING THING THEY HAVE EVER DONE. 
          SO I TAKE CHARGE IN FRONT OF US IS A LONG ROW OF SHABBY SHUT DOORS. 
          THE HALLWAY IS DIM. 
          WHICH DOORBELL SHOULD WE RING? I NEED TO TEACH THEM A LESSON, BUT I WANNA GET THIS OVER WITH FAST TOO. 
          I RING A BELL AT RANDOM. 
          I PUSH MY BRAIDS BEHIND MY SHOULDERS AND STAND UP STRAIGHT. 
          AFTER A MOMENT, WE HEAR HUNDREDS OF FOOTSTEPS OF STAMPEDE. 
          THE FULL SOUND OF THE APPROACH, THE UNKNOWN. 
          THE DOOR FLIES OPEN AND THERE STANDS A TALL, DISHEVELED WOMAN, RAW BONES ALSO FOREIGN. 
          BUT FROM WHERE SHE STARES AT US WIDE-EYED. 
          SUDDENLY SIX KIDS ARE SWARMING AROUND HER LEGS. 
          WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CAR TO SAVE CHILDREN FROM HUNGER? A BELT OUT IN A CLEAR VOICE AS MUCH TO INSTRUCT THE TREMBLING SISTERS IN THE WAYS OF THE WORLD AS TO QUERY THE CONFUSED LOOKING MOTHERS STANDING BEFORE ME. 
          MY HEART IS POUNDING. 
          MORE LITTLE KIDS KEEP COMING, CLUSTERING AROUND HER BIG LEGS, ALL ROUND EYE AND STARING. 
          SHE TAKES THE PILE OF CARDS AND STUDIES THEM ALL THE WHILE. 
          SHIRLEY AND WANDA ARE SO FAR DOWN THE HALL IN SHADOWS, MANAGING TO STAY STUCK STILL AND TREMBLE AT THE SAME TIME, WHICH ONLY MAKES ME BRAVER AND LOUDER, SPEAKING WITH A KIND OF INSTRUCTIVE TEACHERLY EMPHASIS. 
          IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE. 
          I SAY LOUDLY SO SHIRLEY AND WANDA CAN HEAR HOW IT'S 
          [01:20:01]
DONE. 
          WE'RE . 
          WE'RE RAISING MONEY FOR UNICEF. 
          I'M AWARE OF ALL THE LITTLE KIDS STARING AT ME FOR POOR CHILDREN. 
          AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK THE WOMAN SAYS. 
          HER ACCENT IS WITH ROLLING RS AND PURRING SOUNDS. 
          THEN SHE SMILES REVEALING A MOUTHFUL OF SHOCKINGLY BAD TEETH, CROWDED AND MISMATCHED. 
          AS THE BEWILDERING KIDS CRAMMED AROUND HER LEGS. 
          A MIRACULOUSLY, SHE PULLS A CARD OUT FROM THE PILE. 
          ONE THAT I MADE IS OF A HORSE AND REACHES INTO HER APRON AND HANDS ME A COIN. 
          AS SHE SHUTS THE DOOR, ALL THE CHILDREN PIPE UP WITH THE VARIANCE OF BYE. 
          THE GIRLS AND I RUN BACK DOWN THE HALL. 
          THEIR MOTHER IS WAITING FOR US IN THE DOORWAY. 
          WHEN I HAND HER THE COIN, SHE SEEMS AMAZED. 
          SHE EXPECTS IT LIKE IT'S A BEAUTIFUL JEWEL. 
          WE'RE SO RELIEVED TO BE HOME. 
          WE KEEP HOOTING. 
          WE IMMEDIATELY SAID ABOUT DOING SOMERSAULTS. 
          IT'S AS IF WE'VE MANAGED TO SURVIVE A GREAT DANGER. 
          THE GIRL'S EYES ARE BLOWING. 
          SHE GAVE US MONEY. 
          THEY KEEP SAYING AS THEY ROLL, I SEE IT TOO. 
          WITH EACH ROLL. 
          SHE GAVE US MONEY. 
          HE'S COMING. 
          THEIR MOTHER SUDDENLY FALLS OUT. 
          AND WHERE WE HAD JUST BEGUN TO RESUME OUR LEAPING FROM COUCH TO COUCH AS THE WEEK BEFORE. 
          NOW WE SPRING DOWN, RUN TO THE WINDOW. 
          FROM THERE, WE WATCH AS HE STALKED THROUGH THE WIND, HIS BLUE BLACK HAIR PILED, HIGH LIFTING AND FLATTENING CROW TRYING TO LAUNCH, BUT UNABLE TO LIFT. 
          I GRABBED THE CARDS AND THROW THEM IN MY BAG ALONG WITH ALL THE CRAYONS AND MARKERS, AND GIVEN THE SAME SENDOFF AS ALWAYS, COME BACK, COME BACK SOON. 
          JUST AS I'M LEAVING. 
          THEIR MOTHER SURPRISES ME BY PRESSING THE COIN INTO MY HAND. 
          I TRY TO GIVE IT BACK, BUT SHE PRESSES IT BACK AND I TAKE IT, I RUN OUT THE DOOR. 
          I HIDE BEHIND THE BUILDING WHILE HE PASSES. 
          I DON'T KNOW WHAT IF HE SEES ME. 
          AND I FLY TO STEIN'S CANDY STORE, DIM WITH DUST AND POOR LIGHTING AS EVERYTHING IN MY CHILDHOOD SEEMED TO BE. 
          AND I BUY A NESTY CRUNCH BAR FROM HIM, EVEN STEIN. 
          SO USUALLY DISTRACTED AND FAR OFF. 
          SEEMS PROUD. 
          HE'S KING OF THE CASH REGISTER, THE BELL JANGLES. 
          HE MIGHT BE SMILING SLIGHTLY IN THE DARK AS HE TAKES MY COIN RUNNING BACK OUTSIDE INTO THE SUNSET. 
          THE STREET LAMPS CAST A SOFT BLOW DOWN THE AVENUE. 
          I STRIP OFF THE SILVER PAPER AND BITE INTO THE CHOCOLATE. 
          EVEN THOUGH IT'S WINTER, THERE'S NO CHILL IN THE AIR. 
          THE AIR IS BAL ME. 
          I EAT RAINY AGAINST A BUILDING AND WATCHES THE STREET. 
          AND PUDDLES AND PILES OF OLD SNOW ARE TURNING DEEP PINK AND GOLD AND A SENSE OF EASE AND TRIUMPH RADIATES THROUGH SO MANY CHILDHOOD CAPERS. 
          COME BACK TO MIND . 
          ANYWAY, UM, WHILE WE SET UP FOR STEVE, HE'S GONNA BE USING THE PROJECTOR. 
          I'M GOING TO SHARE HIS BIO WITH YOU. 
          UM, STEVE ZEITLIN IS A FOLKLORES WRITER, POET SONGWRITER, PING PONG PLAYER AND CULTURAL ACTIVIST. 
          HE'S THE FOUNDING DIRECTOR OF CITY LORE. 
          HE MAY HAVE SEEN THE CITY LORE POEM MOBILE OUT FRONT WHERE THERE'S A BOARD WHERE YOU CAN WRITE YOUR OWN POEM IF YOU'D LIKE, OR A LINE FROM A POEM. 
          UM, AND, UH, CITY NEW CITY'S CENTER FOR URBAN FOLK CULTURE. 
          NOW CELEBRATING ITS 40TH ANNIVERSARY. 
          IN 2002, STEVE WHOSE POEMS HAVE APPEARED IN ROLLING STONE CO-FOUNDED THE BRE POETRY COLLECTIVE. 
          VERITAS DEDICATED TO THE SHORT POEM. 
          HE HAS SERVED AS A REGULAR COMMENTATOR FOR A NUMBER OF NATIONALLY SYNDICATED PUBLIC RADIO. 
          RADIO COMMENTARIES HAVE APPEARED IN THE OPED OF THE NEW YORK TIMES AND NEWSDAY, THE AUTHOR ON AMERICAN FOLK AND BE BOOK THE OF EVERYDAY LIFE. 
          SO THE POETRY OF EVERYDAY LIFE WAS MY LAST BOOK. 
          BUT THIS, THIS BOOK IS CALLED HOW DO YOU WORD THE UNIVERSE, UH, POEMS AND ESSAYS. 
          AND I WANTED TO, TO, UH, START BY TALKING ABOUT SOME OF THE LOVES THAT LED ME TO, UH, WRITE THIS BOOK. 
          UM, WHEN I ORIGINALLY TOLD MY FATHER THAT I THOUGHT A GREAT THING FOR ME TO BE WOULD BE A WRITER, I WAS ABOUT 12 OR 13, HE SAID, STEVE, HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU WANNA BE A WRITER? YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE WHAT COLOR THE WALL IS. 
          YOU DON'T NOTICE ANYTHING. 
          HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK YOU COULD BE A WRITER? UM, BUT AS FATE WOULD HAPPEN, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. 
          PARTLY BECAUSE IN THE NORTON ANTHOLOGY OF ENGLISH LITERATURE, I WOULD ALWAYS COME ACROSS THESE VERY SHORT POEMS THAT WERE LYRICS THAT WERE WRITTEN IN RELIGIOUS TRACKS, UH, CHRIST THAT MY LOVE WERE IN MY ARMS AND IRON IN MY BED AGAIN, UH, BEING ONE OF THEM. 
          AND I WAS JUST THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT JOB FOR ME. 
          AND OF COURSE, I ENDED UP EVERY MORNING, YOU KNOW, TO THIS DAY, WAY BACK WHEN I HAD AN OLYMPIA TYPEWRITER ON MY LAP, I WOULD START EACH DAY TRYING TO WRITE A POEM AND THINKING 
          [01:25:01]
ABOUT IT AS A FORM OF CENTERING, LOOKING INTO A DIFFERENT KIND OF MIRROR. 
          NOT TO SEE HOW MY HAIR WAS COMBED, BUT TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM. 
          AND THAT'S THE, AND IT BECOMES THAT KIND OF A, A MIRROR TO SOMEHOW CREATE THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF. 
          AND I MIGHT HAVE SPENT BROKEN A WORLD RECORD FOR THE NUMBER OF HOURS SPENT, BUT THEY'VE BEEN MY HAPPIEST HOURS. 
          SO I WANNA START OUT WITH THAT POEM CALLED I WRITE. 
          I WRITE BECAUSE I NEVER SAY JUST WHAT I MEAN, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE MY MIND WANTS TO GO. 
          I WRITE TO FILL THE EMPTY PAGES OF MY SOUL, GRASP THE FLEETING, PROVE THE SENTIENCE OF BEING. 
          SO I ASK THE LORD, GIVE ME THE NOD, GUIDE MY FINGERS ON THE KEYBOARD FOR WRITING IS THE HEALING HAND OF GOD. 
          SO I, I DO THIS  DOING, HAVING DONE THIS SO MUCH. 
          WHEN I HAD TO COME UP WITH A DEDICATION TO THE BOOK, I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'LL DEDICATE THIS BOOK TO MYSELF FOR WHOM THESE POEMS WERE WRITTEN. 
          UM, BUT THEN I SHOWED IT TO SOME OTHER PEOPLE AND THEY THOUGHT, THAT IS SO ARROGANT, YOU CANNOT DEDICATE THE BOOK TO YOURSELF. 
          UM, AND SO I DEDICATED TO MY, MY KIDS AND SAYING, WOULD MAY THEY WEAR THEIR UNIVERSE SNUGLY? AND THE SECOND LOVE THAT CAME ABOUT WHEN I WAS, UH, LU BIT DURING COLLEGE, I WAS WANDERING THROUGH THE, THE SHELLS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA. 
          AND I CAME ACROSS A BOOK BY A FOLKLORE NAMED BENJAMIN BOTKIN, WHO LIVED IN CROTON ON HARMON. 
          AND HE HAD WRITTEN, UH, A NUMBER OF BOOKS. 
          ONE OF THEM WAS CALLED THE FOLKLORE OF NEW YORK CITY. 
          AND I CAME ACROSS THE CHILDREN'S RHYME. 
          AND HE HAD, HAD HE COLLECTED, THERE WERE CHILDREN'S RHYMES BEING COLLECTED DURING THE WPA. 
          THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THEY HAD WRITERS DO IN THE CITY. 
          AND ONE OF THOSE WENT, I SHOULD WORRY. 
          I SHOULD CARE. 
          I SHOULD MARRY A MILLIONAIRE. 
          HE SHOULD DIE. 
          I SHOULD CRY. 
          I SHOULD MARRY ANOTHER GUY. 
          AND I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT JOB FOR ME. 
          I MEAN, I, WHO IS THIS GUY? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANNA DO. 
          I WANNA GO AROUND AND, AND COLLECT PEOPLE'S STORIES. 
          AND, AND, UH, AND YOU KNOW, THE KEY ELEMENT FOR ME WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU, YOU DON'T WANNA SELL OUT. 
          THAT WAS A, AN ANTIQUATED CONCEPT WAY BACK IN THE SIXTIES THAT PEOPLE USED TO TALK ABOUT. 
          UH, AND IT VERY MUCH, UH, KIND OF INSPIRED ME. 
          ANOTHER, ANOTHER ELEMENT THAT, THAT IN INSPIRED ME WAS THAT WHEN I WAS A KID, I WAS ALWAYS STRUCK BY MY, MY BROTHERS AND I, WE LIVED IN SAO PAULO, BRAZIL, AND WE WERE KIND OF ISOLATED. 
          WE HAVE ALL THESE KIND OF JOKES AND EXPRESSIONS THAT WE WOULD TALK ABOUT. 
          AND ONE TIME, MY, MY, WE AT A, AT AN APARTMENT AT THE BEACH, WE WERE AT MY, MY, UH, MY BROTHER WAS PASSING OUT CHICLETS. 
          AND INSTEAD OF TAKE TAKING ONE, I TOOK LIKE 10 AND PUT THEM IN MY MOUTH. 
          HE SAYS, STEVE, WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST JUMP OFF THE 15TH STORY WINDOW FOR A BREEZE ON A HOT DAY. 
          AND, AND THAT BECAME A FAMILY EXPRESSION. 
          UH, AND, AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT IN LITTLE QUIS AND EXPRESSIONS LIKE THAT. 
          AND I WROTE A POEM CALLED ODE TO SILLINESS. 
          MY BROTHER AND I STILL GREET EACH OTHER EYRE, WHY MURRAY ANSWERS RESPECT. 
          WHEN I DO TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING. 
          MURRAY WILL SAY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST JUMP OUT THE 15 STORY WINDOW FOR A BREEZE ON A HOT DAY? AND EVER SINCE WE WATCHED THE GREAT WHITE SHARK TERRIFY THE FOLKS IN JAWS ONE NIGHT IN 1975, APROPOS OF NOTHING, BILL WILL SAY, SPEAKING OF THE BIG WHITE. 
          AND OUT OF NOWHERE, ALWAYS, THE, THE TERM WOULD COME OUT, SPEAKING OF THE BIG WHITE MEANING APROPOS OF NOTHING. 
          UM, FOR THE LIFE OF US, WE CANNOT DANCE OR SING, BUT WE REFINE OUR COMMUNICATION INTO ART. 
          HEARTFUL SHARING BECOMES ARTFUL, SHARING THE DEEPEST MEANINGS, HIDE IN THE SILLIEST THINGS. 
          UM, AND SO I'VE KIND OF CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA PARTLY AS A FOLKLORE THAT IN ANY GIVEN RELATIONSHIP, THE MORE YOU HAVE PRIVATE JOKES AND ILLUSIONS AND THINGS LIKE THAT, AND THESE SORTS OF FAMILY EXPRESSIONS, THE CLOSER YOU ARE. 
          SO THAT REALLY FOLKLORE IS KIND OF A KIND OF LOVE. 
          IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S, IT THAT'S KIND OF THE WAY I, THE WAY I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 
          AND I WROTE THIS POEM CALLED FOLK SAY, FOLK SAY WAS ACTUALLY A TERM, BENJAMIN BOTKIN, THAT FOLKLORE, UH, WAY BACK, WHO 
          [01:30:01]
LIVED IN CROTON IN THE 1950S. 
          UH, HE, HE USED TO TALK ABOUT FOLK, SAY, I AM FROM YOSEY. 
          AND JUMPING OUT THE 15TH STORY WINDOW FOR A BREEZE ON A HOT DAY FROM TELMA, THE BOAT FLOATS AN AN EXPRESSION FROM MY WIFE, AMANDA, TO TOO TIRED TO TUCK FROM A LONG STORY TUCKED INTO A FAMILY EXPRESSION, OR TO SING THE HUNDREDTH PSALM MEANS TO FETCH A GRASS OF WATER FROM THE MOVIES WE INTERNALIZED THE TIMING THAT PUTS US IN SYNC. 
          I'M FROM THE CONVERSATIONS THAT MOVE FROM PROSE TOWARDS POETRY, RHYTHM, HYPERBOLE, ALLITERATION, THANK GOD FOR THE GUTS AND THE GRISTLE PUTTING ON DOWN TO GORDA GONE, GARFIELD GONE. 
          AND THESE WERE WERE EXPRESSIONS THAT I, I PICKED UP IN, IN, UH, THE, THE, THE, UH, FIRST PROJECT I DID AS A FOLKLORE WAS AT THE FESTIVAL OF AMERICAN FOLK LIFE DURING THE BICENTENNIAL 1976. 
          I'M NOW WORKING FOR THEM AGAIN FOR THE 250TH ANNIVERSARY. 
          50 YEARS, 50 YEARS LATER. 
          AND WE WERE COLLECTING AND FAMILY STORIES. 
          AND THAT INSPIRED, UH, SOME OF MY POETRY AS WELL. 
          AND THIS IS A FAMILY STORY THAT WAS TOLD TO ME. 
          AND I CANNOT REMEMBER THE FAMILY'S NAME WHO TOLD IT TO ME. 
          AND IF ANYONE IS HERE WHO TOLD THIS STORY TO ME, PLEASE, PLEASE REMIND ME. 
          UM, IT'S CALLED BAD NEWS. 
          DID YOU READ ABOUT IT IN THE PAPER? MOTHER ASKED DAD. 
          OH, THAT POOR CHILD HIT BY A CAR AT THE AGE OF FIVE. 
          I OVERHEARD, IF I AM CAREFUL CROSSING THE STREET, I ASK, AND DON'T TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS. 
          I'LL NEVER DIE, WILL I? YOU KNOW, WE ALL DIE. 
          MOM SAID, WHAT? I SCREAMED, BEFUDDLED AND CONFUSED. 
          SO I WAITED BY THE ELEVATOR FOR MY TWO SISTERS TO ARRIVE. 
          GIRLS. 
          I SAID, I HAVE SOME VERY BAD NEWS. 
          AND THIS IS ANOTHER FAMILY STORY THAT, THAT HAPPENED IN OUR FAMILY. 
          BUT, UH, WITH ONE OF OUR NEIGHBORS, AND WHICH I MADE INTO, UH, A POEM, A PARTLY TRUE STORY. 
          ALYSSA CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL AND COULD NOT FIND CHEESY. 
          HER KITTY CAT. 
          SHE SAW A SIGN ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR, DON'T OPEN THE FREEZER. 
          CHE'S INSIDE  MOM, CHE'S IN THE FREEZER. 
          ALYSSA, WE NEED TO TALK. 
          SADLY, THE CAT DIED. 
          THAT'S WHY WE HAD TO PUT HER IN THE FREEZER. 
          NOW SHE'S IN HEAVEN WITH GRANDMA. 
          I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT. 
          YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT IN THE FREEZER. 
          SHE'S WITH GOD IN HEAVEN. 
          ALYSSA, MOM, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT? WHAT ON EARTH WOULD GOD WANT WITH A DEAD CAT? UM, AND IN ADDITION TO FAMILY STORIES, I TALKED ABOUT THIS I THINK LAST YEAR WHEN I WAS, I HAD PUBLISHED A BOOK CALLED JEWELS, CAPITAL J, CAPITAL E, CAPITAL W, SMALL ELSI WAS VERY ENAMORED ALSO WITH JEWISH JOKES AND PARABLES, UH, THAT CAME OUT OF JEWISH TRADITIONS AND, AND CULTURE. 
          AND IN THE GROUP, VERITAS, UH, WE, WE DEDICATED TO SHORT POEMS. AND I ALWAYS LIKE TO PEOPLE TO SEE THEM BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, A A LONG POEM, YOU REALLY CAN'T GET A FEELING FOR IT WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT. 
          BUT SHORT POEMS, YOU REALLY HAVE, YOU CAN SORT OF SEE THEIR SHAPE, UH, WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM. 
          AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE GROUP, ZEV SHAKIN, SENT AROUND AN OLD JEWISH JOKE IN THE FORM OF A POEM CALLED THE PARROT AS A SURPRISE GIFT FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 
          A GOD A GUY SENDS HIS POLYGLOT, IMMIGRANT GRANDMOTHER, A BIRD THAT SPEAKS 10 LANGUAGES. 
          A WEEK LATER, HE CALLS HER UP. 
          SO, GRANDMA, HOW'D YOU LIKE THE BIRD? DELICIOUS. 
          A SECOND PUNCHLINE. 
          WHAT? YOU ATE THE BIRD. 
          GRANDMA, THAT BIRD SPOKE 10 LANGUAGES, REALLY? SO MAYBE HE SHOULDA SAID SOMETHING. 
          . 
          UM, OF COURSE, THERE'S ALSO IN, IN ADDITION TO, UH, IN ADDITION TO, UH, THE LOVES OF FOLKLORE AND THE LOVE OF WRITING, THERE'S ALSO ROMANTIC LOVE, WHICH I'VE TRIED TO WRITE ABOUT IN THE SAME FOLKLORE KIND OF STYLE. 
          LOVE CAN'T STAND IN ONE PLACE FOREVER. 
          SO LET US STEP OFF THE EDGE TILL WE'RE FOREVER FALLING, FALLING, FALLING IN LOVE WITH LIFE. 
          AND MY AND MY, UM, MY BRETON FOLKS THOUGHT THAT I SHOULD LEAVE OUT IN LIFE, LIFE. 
          AND I, I, UH, I'M STILL DEBATING THAT CONCEPT RIGHT 
          [01:35:01]
NOW, SO YOU GUYS CAN CAN PONDER IT. 
          UM, THIS NEXT, THIS NEXT POEM IS, UH, CALLED SOUR CREAM POTATO SOUP. 
          AND IT'S VERY MUCH TIED INTO, UH, HOW I, HOW I, UH, ENDED UP MEETING AND, AND DECIDING TO MARRY AMANDA. 
          UM, I, I, AT ONE POINT WAS DECIDING BETWEEN TWO GIRLFRIENDS, AND I HAD A MINOR OPERATION ON MY VOCAL CORDS. 
          AND AMANDA CAME IN WITH A POT OF SOUR CREAM POTATO SOUP. 
          UM, AND I OFTENTIMES THINK THAT THERE'S ACTUALLY TWO OF ME, ONE THAT EXISTS IN REAL LIFE AND THE OTHER ONE THAT EXISTS IN AMANDA'S STORIES. 
          SO THERE'S SORT OF TWO DIFFERENT, TWO DIFFERENT SIDES OF ME. 
          BUT, UM, THIS IS A, A, A POEM I WROTE EARLY ON CALLED SOUR CREAM POTATO SOUP. 
          AFTER MY SURGERY, AMANDA STOOD IN THE DOORWAY WITH A POT OF SOUR CREAM, POTATO SOUP, THEN BROUGHT ME TO HER BED IN PHILADELPHIA, ASSUMED ALL MY FAULTS AND FETISHES WERE FOIBLES TO STEAL MY ESSENCE IN HER STORIES SO THAT SOME SAY SHE DID NOT CRY, BUT REACHED UP AND CLASPED MY FLEETING SOUL THE DAY I DIED. 
          AND THEN, OF COURSE, MANY YEARS LATER IN, IN TERMS OF AN AGING POEM, THERE'S A POEM THAT CAME TO ME WHILE WALKING WITH A MAN ON THE AQUEDUCT IN OUR, IN OUR MANY AFTER MANY YEARS IN HASTINGS. 
          IT'S CALLED, WHEN I'M WOBBLY, STEADY ME AS THE VAGARIES OF AGE, FIND NEW WAYS TO TRIP US UP. 
          LET'S STEP OVER TREE ROOTS, SIDESTEP ICE, LIKE A DROP OF DEW HOLDS TO A SHAKY BLADE OF GRASS. 
          I'LL TAKE YOUR, LIKE AN AUTUMN LEAF CLINGS TO A TWIG. 
          YOU TAKE MINE, HOLD TIGHT AS WE SWAY IN THE BREEZE, THEN TO THE WINDS OF TIME, STEADY AS WE GO ARM IN ARM INTO A DARK, YET GENTLE NIGHT. 
          UM, MY, MY, UH, CAREER AS A, AS A FOLKLORE, I'VE GOTTEN TO MEET AND DO MANY GREAT THINGS. 
          AND ONE OF OUR VERY FAVORITE PROJECTS THAT I DID ACTUALLY WITH AMANDA BACK, BACK AT THE FESTIVAL OF AMERICAN FOLK LIFE, SOMEWHERE AROUND 1980, UH, WAS WE BROUGHT SIDESHOW PITCHMAN, UH, TO THE, TO THE FESTIVAL AND HAD THEM DEMONSTRATE THEIR, THEIR PITCHES. 
          UH, AND ONE OF THE PITCHMEN WAS NAMED BOBBY REYNOLDS, A FAMOUS PITCHMAN THAT STARTED OUT IN CONEY ISLAND. 
          AND HE, HE, HE HAD A SWORD BOX WHERE, YOU KNOW, YOU, YOU PUT THE, THE SWORDS IN AND, UH, SEE THAT YOU TOOK, THEY THINK THAT THE PERSON IN THERE WAS KILLED BY ALL THE SWORDS, BUT SHE WAS ACTUALLY CURLED AROUND THE PLACE. 
          BUT THE WOMAN WHO WAS HIS WIFE, WHO WAS PLAYING SERPENT, DID NOT SHOW UP AT THE FESTIVAL. 
          SO AMANDA HAD TO PLAY SERPENT AND CURL HERSELF AROUND, AROUND THOSE BLADES. 
          AND THEN WHEN I CAME TO NEW YORK, I MET DICK VIGON, WHO'S IN MANY WAYS CONSIDERED TO BE THE MAYOR OF CONEY ISLAND. 
          UH, HE'S A YALE SCHOOL DRAMATIST. 
          AND I WENT TO SEE ONE OF HIS PLAYS. 
          HE HAD RENTED A BUILDING ON THE BOARDWALK, AND IT WAS AN AVAN CLUB PLAY. 
          AND ONLY TWO PEOPLE SHOWED UP ON THE BOARDWALK FOR HIS PLAY. 
          AND, AND WHEN IT WAS OVER, THEY BOTH ASKED FOR THEIR MONEY BACK SAYING THEY WERE NOT EXPECTING TO SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT ON THE BOARDWALK IN CONEY ISLAND. 
          SO I SUGGESTED TO HIM THAT HE BRING THE SIDESHOW TO NEW YORK, UH, THAT SI THE SAME PEOPLE THAT WE HAD HAD DONE THE SIDESHOW FOR THE SMITHSONIAN AND BRING THEM TO NEW YORK. 
          AND TO THIS DAY, SIDESHOWS BY THE SEASHORE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN STILL GO SEE THOSE SIDESHOWS ON CONEY ISLAND THAT CAME FROM THAT. 
          AND THE, THE, THE, UH, THE PITCHMAN THAT WE BROUGHT WAS THAT CAME TO NEW YORK, WAS NAMED JOHN BRADSHAW. 
          AND HE HAD A, A DAUGHTER THAT WAS THE SAME AGE AS, AS OUR LITTLE DAUGHTER. 
          SO EVERY YEAR WE WOULD GO TO BIRTHDAY PARTIES, UH, AT, AT THEIR, AT THEIR HOUSE. 
          AND THERE WOULD BE MELVIN BURKHART, FAMOUS CONTORTIONISTS. 
          MY DAUGHTER WAS TRYING TO IMITATE HIM CONSTANTLY. 
          WHATEVER HE WOULD DO, SHE WOULD DO. 
          AND TO GET STUCK IN THE CHAIR AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 
          THERE WAS OTIS, THE FROG BOY, BEFORE THEY MADE, MADE HIM CHANGE HIS NAME TO OTIS, THE CIGARETTE ROLLING MACHINE. 
          UM, AND THOSE BIRTHDAYS WERE, AND OFTENTIMES JOHN WOULD, YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, TAKE QUARTERS OUT OF MY SON'S EAR AND, AND THINGS LIKE THAT, AND DO THAT KIND OF, KIND OF MAGIC. 
          AND EVER SINCE THEN, MY KIDS, UH, MY SON WHO'S A FILMMAKER, YOU, IF YOU'VE SEEN HIS FILMS LIKE THESE, THIS OTHER WILD, THERE'S A LOT OF, A LOT OF THE, THE ONE THING THEY REMEMBER ABOUT GROWING UP WAS THOSE BIRTHDAY PARTIES, NOTHING ELSE. 
          ALL THE OTHER FOLKLORE SHOWS, CHINESE OPERA, ALL THE OTHER THINGS WE TOOK THEM TO. 
          NONE THAT NONE OF THAT MATTERED, BUT THAT HELPED TO INSPIRE, UH, THAT, THAT KIND OF WORLD INSPIRED SOME OF MY POEMS. ONE OF THEM WAS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF MY SON. 
          IT'S CALLED MAGICIAN. 
          [01:40:01]
WHEN THEY SAW AMANDA IN HALF AND PULL THE RABBIT FROM A HAT, THE MAGICIAN SAID, IT'S A BOY. 
          IT'S A BEAUTIFUL BOY WHO FIVE YEARS LATER ASKED HIS DAD IF IT'S A TRICK. 
          IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC, ONLY TRICKSTERS, NO MAGICIANS? AND CAN IT BE THAT LIFE IS ALL WE KNOW OF MIRACLES? AND THIS NEXT ONE ALSO INSPIRED BY THAT, THAT WORLD LEARNING TO LIVE WITH SPIRITS UPON MY DEATH, I BEQUEATH TO EACH OF YOU WHO LOVED MY DISAPPEARING SOUL, A MAGICIAN'S CLOAK TO CONJURE ME IN MEMORY. 
          PROCEED WITH A LIGHT TOUCH. 
          TIP YOUR HAT, WAVE YOUR CLOAK ACROSS THE TABLE LIKE A BOUQUET OF ROSES. 
          MY RECALCITRANT SPIRIT REAPPEARS, LEAVING THE AUDIENCE OF MOURNERS ASTONISHED HUSHED INVOKE OUR FAVORITE PUNCHLINES WITH A MAGICIAN'S SLEIGH OF HAND LEVITATE A MEMORY TILL MY SPIRIT LINGERS IN THE AIR. 
          THE SECRET TO THE TRICK IS THAT WE LOVED EACH OTHER SO, SO MUCH. 
          THOUGH THE SWORDS OF DEATH SKEWER THE SWORD BOX, MY SPIRIT LIES CURLED AROUND THE BLADES UNTOUCHED. 
          BUT OF COURSE, AS A FOLKLORE, I I I, I FIND WAYS TO, TO IMAGINE THAT DEATH IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY. 
          SO I CONTINUE TO KIND OF, IN SOME WAYS KIND OF FOLKE THE, THE, UH, THE UNIVERSE. 
          AND I, I'LL TAKE YOU ON A LITTLE JOURNEY INTO THE, UH, INTO THE UNIVERSE. 
          AS SEEN BY FOLKLORE F LAST FLIGHT AFTER DEATH, DARKNESS TILL THE EYES DISCERN AN AIRPORT AT NIGHT. 
          DARK RUNWAYS LEADING FROM THE BRIGHT TERMINAL FUEL, TRUCKS MOVING IN SLOW MOTION, BLACKNESS AND PATCHES OF LIGHT. 
          LAST CALL FOR PASSENGERS TO AN UNKNOWN DESTINATION FOR AN UNDETERMINED JOURNEY ON A PREDESTINED FLIGHT. 
          AND I, ONE OF THE GREAT PEOPLE, MANY PEOPLE THAT I GOT TO KNOW AND TALK TO AS A FOLKLORE, WAS A NATIVE AMERICAN, UH, HERITAGE AWARD WINNER NAMED MARY LOUISE DEFENDER WILSON FROM THE STANDING ROCK INDIAN RESERVATION IN NORTH DAKOTA. 
          AND, AND SHE, WHAT SHE PUTS, THE WAY SHE PUT IT, IS WHEN WE DIE, WE MAKE THE JOURNEY ACROSS THE SKY N PANKO, THE PATH OF THE SPIRIT, AND IT GOES ACROSS TO THE NORTH AND THEY SAY, THE NEXT TIME WE SEE OUR RELATIVES, WE SEE THEM IN THE NORTHERN RITES. 
          AND OF COURSE, I'VE, I TALK ABOUT LIKE THE SCIENCE, HOW SCIENCE AND STORYTELLING COME TOGETHER. 
          OF COURSE, SCIENCE AND STORYTELLING WERE THE ANCIENT CONSTELLATIONS. 
          WERE WERE ONE AND THE SAME. 
          UM, PEOPLE LOOKED UP AND SAW THE STORIES AND THE STARS AND THAT THAT WAS THEIR SCIENCE. 
          BUT I ALSO LOOKED TO NONE OTHER THAN ALBERT EINSTEIN AND A QUOTE OF HIS THAT INSPIRED SOME OF MY POEMS. A TRUE STORY. 
          IN MARCH, 1955, EINSTEIN HEARD THAT HIS CLOSE FRIEND AND FREQUENT SOUNDING BOARD, MICHELLE BESO, PASSED AWAY IN HIS EIGHTIES. 
          EINSTEIN EINSTEIN WROTE A LETTER TO BESOS SISTER, WHICH HE ENDED THIS WAY. 
          NOW HE HAS DEPARTED FROM THIS STRANGE WORLD A LITTLE AHEAD OF ME. 
          THAT MEANS NOTHING. 
          PEOPLE LIKE US WHO BELIEVE IN PHYSICS KNOW THAT THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE IS ONLY AN ILLUSION, ALBEIT A STUBBORN ONE. 
          NOT SURPRISINGLY, MANY OF MY FRIENDS WERE SKEPTICAL OF THIS VIEW THAT SOMEHOW, YOU KNOW, WE KIND OF LIVE ETERNALLY BECAUSE AFTER ALL, PAST PRESIDENT FUTURE ARE THE SAME. 
          THE POETS SOKI ALSO IN THE BREAS GROUP WROTE IN HER, WROTE A POEM CALLED SOUR MILK, WROTE IN WHICH HE WRITES, I STRUGGLE AGAINST MY ANGER AT LIFE. 
          THE ULTIMATE BAD JOKE WITH THE WORST PUNCHLINE, ETERNAL DARKNESS. 
          NOT NECESSARILY, I JOTTED DOWN THESE LINES, WHICH APPEAR IN THE BOOK CALLED THE BOOK OF STEVE. 
          SHE SAID, YOUR LIFE MEANS NOTHING ONCE YOU'RE DEAD. 
          HE SAID, NO, IT'S WRITTEN DOWN, INSCRIBED INTO THE COSMOS, SCRAWLED IN THE MARGINS OF TIME. 
          SHE SAID, BUT INACCESSIBLE TO HUMANKIND YET PERMANENT STILL THERE LIKE A BOOK. 
          I SAID, SHE REPLIED A BOOK NOBODY READS. 
          OF COURSE, I I I TOLD HER, IF EVERYBODY READ EVERYBODY ELSE'S BOOKS, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TIME FOR MUCH ELSE. 
          SORA ON RECEIVING THIS POEM RESPONDED WITH 
          [01:45:01]
SOME ADDITIONAL LINES WRITTEN DOWN, INSCRIBED IN THE COSMOS. 
          HA WHERE IN THE COSMOS CAN I FIND THE LIVES OF MY DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER? WHAT LANGUAGE WILL THEIR LIVES BE WRITTEN IN? UH, AND I I SAID, WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY, THEY'RE PRESENT JUST AS IT HAPPENED IN THE SAME LANGUAGE AS LIFE. 
          UNFORTUNATELY, WE CAN'T ACCESS THEM BECAUSE WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE HUMAN CONDITION. 
          UM, AND SO I I, IN SOME OF MY POEMS, I AND THE TITLE POEM OF MY BOOK, I KIND OF TRY TO PERSONALIZE THE UNIVERSE, KIND OF GIVE A FOLKLORES TAKE ON THE UNIVERSE. 
          AND, AND THE TITLE POEM OF THAT, OF THE BOOK IS CALLED HOW THE INTERGALACTIC DIAMOND CLOAK IS THE NAME OF THE POEM. 
          HOW DO YOU WEAR THE UNIVERSE? DOES IT DRAPE ACROSS YOUR SHOULDERS LOOSE OR SNUG? ARE YOU LOST IN IT? DOES IT NEED SOME ALTERATIONS? CAN YOU FIND SOME WARMTH IN THERE? IS IT A TATTERED COAT THROWN ACROSS YOUR SHOULDER? OR ARE YOU LIFE RESPLENDENT IN YOUR INTERGALACTIC DIAMOND CLOAK? AND I'LL END WITH THIS POEM, ANIMATED STARDUST, SENTIENT BEING, ARE WE ON A QUEST TO UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE OR ARE WE SOME ASPECT OF CREATION'S QUEST TO UNDERSTAND ITSELF, FRAIL AND HUMAN CREATURES OF THE COSMOS? CAN WE SENSE THE PRESENCE OF OUR OWN CREATOR IN THIS ANIMATED STARDUST? THIS DUST THAT RENDERS VISIBLE A STREAM OF LIGHT PARTICLES DANCING IN A BEAM OF LIGHT? THANK YOU. 
          THAT'S VERY GOOD. 
          YEAH, THANK YOU STEVE. 
          AND BY THE WAY, NOBODY IS SATISFIED WITH JUST TWO CHICLETS. 
          I'M SORRY. 
          THANKS. 
          UM, THAT'S NOT THE IEST THING I COULD TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR PRESENTATION, BUT, UM, OKAY, SO NEXT UP, UH, WE HAVE THREE MORE, UH, PEOPLE PRESENTING TONIGHT AND WE'RE RUNNING RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, KNOCK WOOD. 
          UM, SO THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE AND FOR STAYING FOR THE PROGRAM. 
          LYNN SCHMEER IS UP NEXT AND HER STORY COLLECTION. 
          YES, APPLAUSE FOR LYNN . 
          HALF-LIVES WON AUTUMN HOUSE'S RISING WRITER PRIZE AND FICTION. 
          HER WRITING HAS WON BOMB'S FICTION CONTEST, BEEN NOMINATED FOR BEST OF THE NET GIVEN, SPECIAL MENTIONED BY THE PUSHKAR PRIZE, AND TWICE BEEN LISTED UNDER DISTINGUISHED STORIES AND BEST AMERICAN SHORT STORIES. 
          SHE'S AUTHOR ALSO THE AUTHOR OF THREE POETRY BOOKS, SCHRIER LIVES IN DOBBS FERRY AND WOODSTOCK, NEW YORK AND TEACHERS CREATIVE WRITING ONLINE, YET ANOTHER TALENTED LOCAL WRITER. 
          PLEASE WELCOME LYNN SCHMEER. 
          OKAY, IS THIS THE RIGHT HEIGHT? CAN YOU, CAN YOU HEAR ME? GREAT. 
          THANK YOU VAR FOR ORGANIZING ANOTHER WONDERFUL EVENT. 
          THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR BEING HERE. 
          IT'S SUPER FUN. 
          UM, OKAY, I'M GONNA BE READING FROM SOME, UM, PROSE POEMS THAT I STARTED WRITING SOME YEARS BACK. 
          AND TO GIVE YOU A SENSE OF HOW I THINK OF THESE, OUR HOW'S UP IN WOODSTOCK. 
          UM, WE GET, UH, BEARS THERE A LOT. 
          AND ONE DAY I WAS LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW AND I SAW A BEAR ON THE EDGE OF THE PROPERTY, AND I'D NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE, BUT HIS NOSE WAS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND HE WAS LIKE, LIKE SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING AND THE DIRT AND DIRT WAS FLYING BY HIS FACE. 
          AND, AND I WAS WATCHING HIM AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DIGGING FOR, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN HE SEEMED TO BE SATISFIED BECAUSE HE JUST KIND OF PICKED UP HIS HEAD AND THEN TROTTED OFF. 
          AND SO THIS IS HOW I THINK ABOUT THESE PROSE POEMS, IS THAT I HAVE SOMETHING THAT I'M DIGGING FOR AND I DIG AND I LET THE STUFF FLY BY MY FACE AND MY MIND, UM, UNTIL I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I'VE REACHED SOMETHING AND THEN I CAN PICK MY HEAD UP AND WALK AWAY. 
          SO THAT'S HOW YOU CAN THINK ABOUT THEM AS YOU LISTEN TO THEM. 
          . 
          UM, OKAY. 
          OH, AND THE OTHER THING TO KNOW ABOUT THEM IS THAT I, EACH ONE, THE TITLE I GAVE MYSELF THE TASK, THE TITLE NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING, UH, NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN AS A NEGATIVE. 
          UM, AND THE FIRST ONE, SO IN WOODSTOCK, A LOT OF THE HOUSES WERE BUILT BY ARTISTS OR VISIONARIES OR JUST PEOPLE WITH AN IDEA. 
          MANY TIMES THEY DON'T HAVE, UM, TRAINING OR . 
          SO THEY COME OUT LOOKING PRETTY FUNNY AND 
          [01:50:01]
STRANGE AND INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL. 
          AND THERE'S ONE THAT I PASS ON MY WALK ALL THE TIME, AND THAT'S WHAT INSPIRED THIS ONE. 
          SO IT'S CALLED, I DID NOT LIVE IN THE ORANGE HOUSE WITH A SIX-SIDED JEWEL ON TOP. 
          I DID NOT LIVE IN THE ORANGE HOUSE WITH A SIX-SIDED JEWEL ON TOP. 
          IF I LIVED IN THE ORANGE HOUSE WITH A SIX-SIDED JEWEL ON TOP, I WOULD DROP MY DIRTIEST DOWN ITS CHUTES AND PULL MY WIES FROM ITS LIFTS. 
          INSIDE THERE WOULD BE LOFTS AND BREEZEWAYS, A SUNROOM, A MOON ROOM, AN ICE DOOR, A MILK DOOR, CHANGING ROOMS, AND NEVER CHANGING ROOMS. EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ORANGE HOUSE WITH A SIX-SIDED JUUL ON TOP MADE ME TINGLE WITH CRAVING. 
          IT WAS NOT CLEAR WHETHER I WANTED TO LIVE IN THE ORANGE HOUSE WITH A SIX-SIDED JUUL ON TOP OR WHETHER I WANTED TO BE THE ORANGE HOUSE. 
          ITS UNNAMEABLE SHAPE. 
          ITS INDECISION AS TO WHICH FLOOR WAS THE GROUND FLOOR. 
          ITS WINDOWS FRAMING SMALLER WINDOWS, NONE OF WHICH AGREED WHICH WAY TO TURN THE GARDEN, THE MOUNTAIN, THE ROAD. 
          ITS SIX-SIDED JEWEL. 
          NOT SURE IF IT WAS A WINDOW OR A WHIMSY OR A SPACESHIP. 
          THIS ONE'S CALLED I DID NOT INVENT SLICED BREAD. 
          I DID NOT INVENT SLICED BREAD BECAUSE IF I HAD, I WOULD BE THE BEST THING. 
          I'M NOT THE BEST THING. 
          I'M ONE OF THE MANY UNCLEAR HOW GOOD THINGS, IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING THAT I'M NOT THE BEST THING BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE THE BEST AT BEING THE BEST. 
          I WOULD GLOAT. 
          I WOULD ALSO REQUIRE AFFIRMATION. 
          YOU'RE THE BEST I WOULD REQUIRE, BUT THEN I WOULD REJECT SAID AFFIRMATION BECAUSE IT WAS GIVEN TOO EASILY, TOO BRE SLICED BREAD IS NOT EVEN ALWAYS THE BEST THING A SOURDOUGH D GET, FOR INSTANCE, HAS LATELY BEEN THE BEST THING. 
          I WROTE THIS DRINK OF . 
          THE BEST THINGS AREN'T THE BEST THINGS FOR LONG, SO LONG TO BEST THINGS, SO LONG TO KNOWN. 
          WHO KNOWS WHAT IS THE NEXT BEST THING. 
          THE NEXT BEST THING MIGHT NOT EVEN BE BRED AT ALL. 
          THE NEXT BEST THING MIGHT BE GENEVA CAKE. 
          THIS WAS THE CASE WHEN I WENT TO BREAD ALONE WITH MY DAUGHTER AND ASKED IF THEY HAD ANYTHING WITHOUT GLUTEN. 
          AND THEY SAID, YES, IN FACT, WE HAVE GENEVA CAKE MADE FROM ALMOND FLOUR. 
          WE'LL TAKE IT. 
          WE SAID LATER, WHEN THE GENEVA CAKE WAS MOSTLY GONE, WE GREW TIRED OF ITS ALMOST ALMONDY SWEETNESS AND LONGED AGAIN FOR SOME OTHER BEST THING WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. 
          WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE NEXT BEST THING ISN'T THE BEST THING, IT'S THE NEXT BEST THING, . 
          THAT IS TO SAY ME, THE BEST ALTERNATIVE FOR A YOU HAVE. 
          BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU CANNOT HAVE THE BEST THING. 
          THE BEST COUNTRY, FOR INSTANCE, IS NO LONGER WHERE I LIVE. 
          I'D BE LUCKY TO LIVE IN THE NEXT BEST COUNTRY. 
          I DO NOT EVEN LIVE IN THE NEXT, NEXT BEST COUNTRY, WHICH I THINK IS CANADA. 
          CANADA IS OKAY WITH BEING THE NEXT, NEXT BEST COUNTRY BECAUSE CANADA IS THE BEST AT BEING NOT THE BEST. 
          CANADA HAS BEEN NOT THE BEST FOR SO LONG THAT I AM BEGINNING TO WONDER IF I SHOULD MOVE TO CANADA, WHERE I CELEBRATED MY FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 
          THERE I WAS INTRODUCED TO THE BEST SANDWICH. 
          IT WAS A TUNA SALAD SANDWICH ON BUTTERED BREAD, UNSALTED BUTTER SPREAD THICKLY ON TWO SLICES OF WHITE BREAD. 
          THE BUTTER WAS NOT THE BEST THING ABOUT THE SANDWICH. 
          THE BEST THING ABOUT THE SANDWICH WAS THAT MY HUSBAND AND I AGREED DEEPLY THAT THIS WAS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE WAY TO MAKE A TUNA SALAD SANDWICH IN CANADA. 
          ON THE OCCASION OF OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, WE AGREED DEEPLY ABOUT THIS AND IT MADE US FEEL EVEN MORE IN LOVE. 
          . 
          I DID NOT SAVE ALL MY CHILDREN'S BABY TEETH. 
          I DID NOT SAVE ALL MY CHILDREN'S BABY TEETH BECAUSE I'M NOT THAT KIND OF MOTHER. 
          I'M THE KIND OF MOTHER WHO SAVED ONLY SOME OF HER CHILDREN'S BABY TEETH. 
          FURTHERMORE, I'M THE KIND OF MOTHER WHO LABELED ONLY SOME OF HER CHILDREN'S BABY TEETH SO THAT ONLY THREE OF EIGHT OF MY CHILDREN SAVED BABY TEETH, RETAIN THEIR PROVENANCE AS I HAVE TWO CHILDREN. 
          THIS IS UNFAIR. 
          I UNFAIRLY LABELED TWO OF MY SON'S BABY TEETH AND ONLY ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS. 
          THOUGH IT'S POSSIBLE THAT I SAVED THE SAME NUMBER OF EACH, I WILL NEVER KNOW, NEITHER WILL THEY, WHICH IS WHAT I WORRY ABOUT. 
          I WORRY THAT THEY WILL FIND THE BEAUTIFUL BOX IN WHICH I'VE SAVED THEIR BABY TEETH AND SEE THAT ONLY THREE ARE LABELED AND FEEL THAT I FAVORED THE BABY TEETH OF MY SONS. 
          OR PERHAPS THEY WILL FIND THE WHOLE COLLECTION DEAS. 
          I SAY DEAS BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORD THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE DISGUST AND DISMAY WITH WHICH I FEAR MY CHILDREN WILL MEET MY COLLECTION OF THEIR BABY TEETH, PARTICULARLY WHEN THEY FIND THE UMBILICAL CORD . 
          MY DAUGHTERS THOUGH, MY DAUGHTER'S UMBILICAL CORD IS 
          [01:55:01]
ALSO NOT LABELED. 
          THEY MAY NOT EVEN REALIZE THE WORMY DRIED COIL IN THE LITTLE PLASTIC BAG IS AN UMBILICAL CORD. 
          BUT WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? AND WHO'S ELSE? NOT MY C-SECTION SONS, BUT MY HOME BIRTH DAUGHTERS. 
          DOES THE FACT OF MY DAUGHTER'S HOME BIRTH UMBILICAL CORD POINT TO AN EVEN BIGGER UNFAIRNESS OR MIGHT ITS DISCOVERY IN A LITTLE PLASTIC BAGGIE RIGHT THE WRONG OF THE POORLY LABELED BABY TEETH? NOR DID I EAT THE PLACENTA, NOR DID I EAT THE PLACENTA. 
          AFTER I DELIVERED IT, I DELIVERED A DAUGHTER AND THEN I DELIVERED HER PLACENTA, AFTER WHICH I HAD A DAUGHTER AND A PLACENTA TO DEAL WITH. 
          NO ONE ASKED HOW I PLANNED TO DEAL WITH THE DAUGHTER, BUT THE MIDWIFE ASKED HOW I PLANNED TO DEAL WITH A PLACENTA. 
          I COULD. 
          SO THE MIDWIFE TURN THE PLACENTA INTO A BODY S VALVE, PRESERVE IT IN A PENDANT, PRESS IT INTO A TREE OF LIFE PRINT, DONATE IT, EAT IT, EAT IT. 
          DO YOU WANT ME TO EAT THE PLACENTA? I ASKED THE NEWBORN DAUGHTER, BUT SHE ONLY SIGHED. 
          I RESEARCHED WAYS TO EAT THE PLACENTA, INCLUDING HEATING, DRYING AND GRINDING IT INTO A HUNDRED PILLS, BLENDING IT INTO A SMOOTHIE, BAKING IT INTO LASAGNA. 
          I COULD NOT DECIDE AS A VEGETARIAN WHETHER EATING A HOMEGROWN ORGAN WAS OR WAS NOT VERBOTEN. 
          SO IN THE END, I PLANTED IT IN THE YARD. 
          IN THE YARD WHERE I PLANTED THE PLACENTA. 
          I DID NOT PLACE A PLAQUE. 
          THE PLAQUE I DID NOT PLACE WHERE I BURIED THE PLACENTA IN THE YARD DID NOT CALL ATTENTION TO ITSELF. 
          NEITHER THE YARD WHERE IT'S BURIED, NOR THE PLAQUE WHERE IT ISN'T REMEMBERED. 
          HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT GOING FROM CRUCIAL TO MOOT? I AM NOT THE BOSS OF ME. 
          I AM NOT THE BOSS OF ME. 
          I AM THE EMPLOYEE OF ME. 
          . 
          IF I WERE THE BOSS OF ME, I'D SPEAK WITH THE VOICE OF A BIRCH TREE AND A BRISK WIND. 
          I'D SURPRISE ME WITH GENEVA. 
          CAKES, THE BOSS OF ME THAT I WOULD BE, IF I WERE MY BOSS, WOULD LOOK EXCELLENT IN A S SILK CHARTRES PANTSUIT, AND WOULD SIT NEXT TO ME SHOWING ME HOW TO BE ME, EVEN BETTER, ME AS A BAD BOSS, ME AS A BOSS WHO DOESN'T CARE ENOUGH TO SPEAK RIGHT? ME AS A BOSS WHO SMELLS ME STINKS. 
          IN FACT, I ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE THE ODOR OF EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. 
          I SMELL LIKE CLOVES AND CONSCIENTIOUSNESS ME BOSS'S EYE ANYWAY. 
          ME IS A BIG, FAT, BOSSY BOSS WHO ONLY UNDERSTANDS HARD CANDY AND MEANNESS ME PINCHES EYES ASS ME, STICKS OUT A FOOT AND TRIPS EYE ME LAUGHS AT I AND PRETENDS IT'S FOR EYE'S. 
          OWN GOOD ME NEVER SLEEPS. 
          ME, STAYS UP ALL NIGHT MAKING TO-DO LISTS FOR I I AM EXHAUSTED BEING THE EMPLOYEE OF ME. 
          I AM READY TO QUIT. 
          I'M SO CLOSE TO QUITTING. 
          BUT THEN JUST WHEN I AM CONVINCED I CAN NEVER, EVER SATISFY ME, KNEE GOES AND BUYS THE REDDEST MOST BEAUTIFUL BOUQUET OF FLOWERS. 
          IT OFFERS IT WITH A HEARTFELT THANK YOU NOTE. 
          I DON'T NEED TO READ THE NOTE OR TO SMELL THE FLOWERS BECAUSE I KNOW ME KNOWS TOO. 
          WE BOTH KNOW ME WILL ALWAYS BE THE BOSS OF I. 
          WE DID NOT CLIMB ALL THE WAY TO THE FIRE TOWER. 
          WE DID NOT CLIMB ALL THE WAY TO THE FIRE TOWER, BUT WE GOT TO THE ABANDONED HOTEL. 
          ANY OF YOU WHO'VE BEEN TO WOODSTOCK KNOW ABOUT THIS HIKE I'M TALKING ABOUT. 
          WE ALWAYS GOT TO THE ABANDONED HOTEL, WHICH WAS NOT JUST ABANDONED BUT GUTTED BY A FIRE A CENTURY AGO. 
          THIS MADE THE ABANDONED HOTEL BEAUTIFUL AND ALSO NOT ABANDONED SO MUCH AS HOME TO TREES. 
          WHEN WE GOT TO THE BEAUTIFUL HOTEL OF TREES, WE TOOK PICTURES OF ONE ANOTHER IN ITS DOORLESS DOORWAYS, STANDING ATOP ITS FLOOR LESS STAIRCASE. 
          WE TOOK PICTURES OF THE SKY THROUGH THE WINDOWLESS WINDOWS, AFTER WHICH WE ARGUED ABOUT THE FIRE TOWER. 
          I TOOK THE SIDE OF THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CLIMB ON YOU TOOK THE SIDE OF THE ONE WHO WANTED TO TURN BACK. 
          I FELT BRIDLED. 
          YOU ALWAYS WON THE FIRE TOWER ARGUMENT BECAUSE USUALLY YOU WERE HUNGRY. 
          AND LONG AGO WE'D AGREED TO HONOR THE VETO. 
          THAT WAS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THE EVERYDAY CHINA THAT FILLED ME WITH INDIFFERENCE. 
          BY WHICH I MEAN I AM NOT CONVINCED THAT HONORING THE VETO GOT US THE EVERYDAY CHINA WE MOST DESERVED. 
          BY WHICH I MEAN, I'M NOT CONVINCED THAT HONORING THE VETO WILL EVER ALLOW US TO REACH THE FIRE TOWER. 
          OKAY, AND THE LAST ONE I'M GONNA READ, UH, I WENT TO AN EXHIBIT AT, UM, DIA, WHAT'S IT CALLED? 
          [02:00:01]
IN YEAH, IN BEACON, RIGHT? AND THERE WAS AN EXHIBIT AND IT WAS A ROOM THAT WAS ENTIRELY EMPTY, PRETTY MUCH. 
          UM, UH, IT WAS AN INSTALLATION. 
          AND SO THIS IS CALLED THE WALL TEXT EXPLAINING THE INVISIBLE INSTALLATION IS NOT CORRECT. 
          THE WALL TEXT EXPLAINING THE INVISIBLE INSTALLATION IS NOT CORRECT. 
          WHEN IT SAYS THE VISITOR WILL FEEL HAPPY, , THE VISITOR WILL FEEL HAPPY ACCORDING TO THE WALL TEXT, BECAUSE THE ARTIST HAS SENT THE SPACE WITH PINE SAP AND PIPED IN EXTRA OXYGEN. 
          BUT LOTS OF PINEY OXYGEN AND EMPTY SPACE DOES NOT FILL ME WITH HAPPINESS SO MUCH AS AN AWKWARD WALDEN SIGN KITE, WHICH IS A GERMAN WAY OF SAYING THE CONNECTION TO NATURE ONE FEELS WHEN ALONE IN THE WOODS. 
          ALONE IN THE WOODS. 
          I'M NOT THOUGH. 
          SO THE VAL AND SANITEE FROM THE INVISIBLE INSTALLATION, RATHER THAN MAKING ME HAPPY, MAKES ME LA TOASTED, WHICH IS A CHECK WAY OF SAYING FILLS ME WITH A SUDDEN TORMENT FROM THE RECOGNITION OF MY MISERY, MY MISERY ALL OVER MY ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF THE MUSEUM GUARD STANDING AGAINST THE WALL, STANDING AGAINST THE WALL. 
          THE MUSEUM GUARD IS NOT HAPPY EITHER, I SEE, BUT IS FILLED WITH PENA AENA, WHICH IS A MEXICAN WAY OF SAYING HE IS EMBARRASSED AT WATCHING MY HUMILIATION, AT FINDING MYSELF TORMENTED BY THE INVISIBLE INSTALLATION. 
          WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS THE MUSEUM GUARD GOES OUT HIS WAY, STEPS AROUND THE INVISIBLE INSTALLATION TO TRY TO HELP ME SAYING THINGS LIKE, INVISIBLE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE AND  INSTALLATION, WHAT IS THAT? ANYWAY? AND I CAN SEE THIS MUSEUM GUARD IS NOT THE KIND OF MAN FOR WHOM COMFORTING A STRANGER COMES EASILY. 
          AND WHAT I NOW FEEL IS GR, WHICH IS A THAI WAY OF SAYING UNEASY IN THE FACE OF THE GUARD'S, STRUGGLE TO MAKE ME HAPPY. 
          IN HIS STRUGGLE TO MAKE ME HAPPY, I DETECT A FOREIGN MUSIC TO THE GUARD'S SPEECH AND TO DISTRACT US BOTH FROM OUR UNEASE. 
          I ASKED HIM, I ASKED HIM WHERE HE'S FROM, WHEREVER HE'S FROM. 
          I CAN SEE FROM THE LOOK IN HIS EYES WHEN I ASK THAT HE'S SUFF SUFFERING FROM DE'S HMONG, WHICH IS A FRENCH WAY OF SAYING THE FEELING THAT COMES FROM NOT BEING IN ONE'S HOME COUNTRY, NOT BEING IN HIS HOME COUNTRY, BUT BEING INSTEAD IN A PINE SCENTED OXYGEN PIPED ROOM TOGETHER WITH AN INVISIBLE INSTALLATION AND ME TOGETHER, THE TWO OF US FEELING SO MANY FEELINGS, THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR IN ANY ONE LANGUAGE ALONE THAT THAT REMINDS ME OF BEING ON THE HOLD BUTTON WHEN THEY SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE. 
          THEY'RE LIKE, WHO IS FEELING PATIENT? UM, THAT WAS OVERLOOKED MOUNTAIN, BY THE WAY. 
          CORRECT? IN WOODSTOCK. 
          I MADE IT TO THE FIRE TOWER. 
          AND I JUST WANNA SHARE WITH MY FRIEND DOUG, WHO IS HERE. 
          AND IF YOU HAD GOTTEN TO THE TOP, WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD HAPPEN, WHICH HAPPENED TO US, IS ALL THE PARK RANGERS SANG US THE ROCKY THEME SONG FOR MAKING IT TO THE TOP. 
          IT WAS VERY EXCITING. 
          UM, OKAY, SO I BELIEVE RAP IS GONNA COME AND MOVE THIS PROJECTOR OUT, UM, WHILE I INTRODUCE THE NEXT, UM, READERS. 
          SO RICHARD, SO MANY ACCOMPLISHED PEOPLE IN OUR VILLAGE, YET ANOTHER ONE, RICHARD VILLAGES, PEARL RICHARD SHOTTER IS THE AUTHOR OF THE PLAYS MEDICINE SHOW, WHICH WON AN OB AWARD NOMINATION, THE WOOD DANCER, BEYA THE KING, TAKING STOCK, AND THE SUSSMAN VARIATIONS. 
          HE HAS ALSO WRITTEN A NUMBER OF 10 MINUTE PLAYS, ALL OF WHICH HAVE BEEN PERFORMED AT THE BOSTON 10 MINUTE PLAY MARATHON, AND AT REGIONAL THEATERS, UM, ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 
          HIS 10 MINUTE MUSICAL, UH, DUET FOR SHY PEOPLE. 
          MUSIC BY MICHAEL KOSIN, WHO WAS DEVELOPED AT THE BMI MUSICAL THEATER WORKSHOP AND HAS BEEN WIDELY PERFORMED. 
          HE HAS ALSO WRITTEN LYRICS WITH HASTINGS COMPOSER STEVE HOICK, UM, FOR THE PB PBS TV SERIES, THE PUZZLE PLACE. 
          HE HAS A PHD IN DRAMATIC LITERATURE. 
          IF THIS WASN'T ENOUGH, HAS BEEN A FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR AND FOR MANY YEARS, CHAIRED THE GRADUATE PLAYWRITING PROGRAM AT QUEENS COLLEGE, CU NY AS WELL AS TEACHING IN THE GRADUATE PLAYWRITING PROGRAM AT BOSTON UNIVERSITY. 
          DC ANDERSON, WHO'S STANDING TO HIS LEFT, UM, HAS BEEN A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR FOR OVER 50 YEARS, WORKING WITH THE CHICAGO THEATER COMPANY, MINNEAPOLIS GUTHRIE, LOS ANGELES'S, COLONY STUDIO THEORY, BROADWAY'S MAJESTIC, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, A SINGER SONGWRITER AND HIS ON PLATFORMS. TAKE IT AWAY GUYS. 
          IS THIS OKAY? YEP. 
          YEAH, 
          [02:05:03]
YEAH. 
          OKAY. 
          OKAY. 
          THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT 15 SUBURBAN SUBURBAN STREET. 
          EVENING TWO MEN, FREDDY AND HARRY, ENTER CONFUSED. 
          THEY'RE LOOKING FOR NUMBERS ON HOUSES. 
          15, 17. 
          WE'RE LOOKING FOR 24 MAPLE MUST BE THE NEXT BLOCK. 
          THIS DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. 
          WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I WAS THERE LAST YEAR AT THE PARTY. 
          REMEMBER? I WASN'T INVITED. 
          THAT'S TRUE, BUT THEY INVITED YOU THIS YEAR. 
          THAT DOESN'T MAKE UP FOR LAST YEAR. 
          COME ON, HARRY. 
          DROP IT. 
          DROP. 
          WHAT? THE RESENTMENT. 
          THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY IN MY YOGA GROUP. 
          TAKE ALL YOUR PETTY ANNOYANCES, TOSS THEM LIKE FLOWER PEDALS INTO THE, INTO A STREAM AND WATCH THEM FLOAT AWAY. 
          YOU IN YOUR YOGA GROUP. 
          I MET A LOT OF INTERESTING PEOPLE IN MY YOGA GROUP. 
          PEOPLE SEEKING A HIGHER TRUCE, DROP THEIR RESENTMENT AND, AND YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER TIME AT THE PARTY. 
          FIRST. 
          WE HAVE TO GET THERE. 
          WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT YAPPING ABOUT YOGA GROUPS. 
          I'M TELLING YOU, THIS DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT. 
          THERE WAS A DINER ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE HOUSE. 
          REMEMBER A BIG CHIEF'S DINER. 
          IT HAD A A, A NEON INDIAN CHIEF'S SIGN FLASHING AWAY. 
          BLUE AND RED. 
          BLUE AND RED. 
          YOU DON'T FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 
          I DON'T SEE ANY INDIAN CHIEFS AROUND HERE. 
          WE'RE NOT IN MONUMENT VALLEY, FREDDIE. 
          WE ARE IN PLEASANTVILLE. 
          THIS HAS TO BE RIGHT. 
          I USE MY GPS. 
          IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. 
          THE GPS IS LINKED DIRECTLY TO A SATELLITE ORBITING THE EARTH. 
          IT SURVEYS EVERY INCH OF THE WORLD'S SURFACE WITH SCIENTIFIC PRECISION. 
          I MIGHT ADD, SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT A MAP. 
          HOW INCREDIBLY 20TH CENTURY HAVE YOU? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAPS? PEOPLE HAVE BEEN USING THEM FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. 
          AND OF COURSE, GOD, THEM, WHEN A NEW TECHNOLOGY COMES ALONG, YOU HAVE TO EMBRACE IT. 
          FREDDY HARNESS ITS POTENTIAL AND GO WITH THE FLOW. 
          OTHERWISE, YOU'RE LEFT HOPELESSLY BEHIND. 
          I'M SURPRISED YOUR YOGA TEACHER DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT YOUR, YOUR GPS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOGA. 
          YOGA'S ABOUT RELEASING INNER POTENTIAL, EXPANDING THE SELF, AND YET THEY BOTH SHOW US THE PATH. 
          DON'T THEY POINT US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION? YOUR GPS JUST THREW OFF, OFF THE PAST. 
          I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS THE WRONG STREET. 
          I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES. 
          AND YOUR BONES ARE MORE RELIABLE THAN MY GPS IN THIS CASE. 
          YES, YOU KNOW YOUR PROBLEM. 
          YOU'RE TOO QUICK TO DISMISS THE HUMAN ELEMENT. 
          WHAT IS THE HUMAN ELEMENT EVER DONE FOR US? ARE YOU KIDDING? THE HUMAN ELEMENT DEFINES US. 
          INSTINCT, PERCEPTION, INTUITION, EMOTION. 
          WITHOUT THE HUMAN ELEMENT, WHAT WOULD WE BE? BETTER OFF? COME ON HARRY. 
          YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN THAT. 
          LOOK, LOOK AROUND THE WORLD WE LIVE IN AND TELL ME WHY I SHOULD BELIEVE IN THE HUMAN ELEMENT. 
          THE HUMAN ELEMENT SCREWS EVERYTHING UP. 
          SO WE SHOULD JUST PLACE OUR STATES IN YOUR GPS AND WE'LL ALL BE FINE. 
          PRECISELY. 
          IT'LL TELL YOU WHEN THE WE NEED TO GO. 
          NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 
          COME ON, FREDDIE. 
          KEEP LOOKING. 
          LET'S FIND SOMEONE IN THAT DIRECTIONS. 
          NOT NECESSARY, BUT WE MIGHT MEET AN INTERESTING PERSON. 
          STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION. 
          MAYBE EVEN MAKE A FRIEND . 
          I DON'T WANNA MAKE A FRIEND. 
          I JUST WANNA GET TO 24 MAPLE. 
          DON'T YOU SEE? HUMAN INTERACTION ADDS FLAVOR AND VARIETY TO LIFE. 
          THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOME SERENDIPITOUS MEETING ON THE STREET CORNER OVER DIRECTIONS MIGHT LEAD TO A PLEASANT CONVERSATION WITH AN ACCOMMODATING, AN INTRIGUING STRANGER GIVES TO AN ORDINARY DAY THE LUSTER AND POSSIBILITY OF A JOURNEY INTO THE UNKNOWN. 
          WHAT IS THIS? FREDDY STAR TREK? I'LL FIND THE ADDRESS ON MY PHONE. 
          IT'S OUT ON APP FOR THIS. 
          NOW LEMME LEMME JUST TAKE A, HEY, THERE'S A GUY GETTING OUTTA HIS CAR RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. 
          LOOK, I'LL JUST LISTEN, JUST TAKE A SECOND. 
          MY PHONE HAS, THAT HAS WORKS FAST. 
          IT'S 5G. 
          BUT I CAN JUST, JUST THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BEFORE YOU ASK WHAT CONSEQUENCES WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE CONVERSATIONS. 
          SO THEN WE'LL HAVE TO BE POLITE AND SMILE AND NOD AND PRETEND WE'RE PAYING ATTENTION. 
          IT'LL TAKE A PRECIOUS TIME AND, AND HE PROBABLY WON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH. 
          HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? BECAUSE WE CAN USE AI TO FIND A, A, AN APP THAT TELLS THE EXACT ETHNIC MAKEUP OF EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE COUNTRY. 
          IT'S FASCINATING. 
          IT TURNS, TURNS OUT THAT THIS PART OF PLEASANTVILLE HAS A GROWING NUMBER OF FRENCH SPEAKING PEOPLE UP 7% FROM THE LAST CENSUS. 
          LOOK, I'LL SHOW YOU. 
          I DON'T WANNA SEE IT, BUT I CAN SHOW YOU STATISTICALLY, IT'LL JUST TAKE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT STATISTICS OR APPS OR ANYTHING. 
          IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE. 
          I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE PARTY BEFORE MIDNIGHT. 
          OKAY? NEVER DON'T, FRED. 
          IT'S JUST SIMPLY TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY CONSULTING AN APP IS MORE EFFICIENT THAN COMMANDEERING SOME RANGER RANDOM STRANGER ON ARAI. 
          WHEN YOU DEAL WITH THE HUMAN ELEMENT, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SURPRISES MIGHT OCCUR AND LIKE SURPRISES. 
          LIFE WITHOUT SURPRISES IS NO LIFE AT ALL. 
          NOW THAT PRICE IS GONE. 
          YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US HOW TO GET THERE. 
          I HAVE NO FEAR. 
          I'VE GOT GOOGLE MAPS RIGHT HERE. 
          I'LL JUST PUT IN THE ADDRESS. 
          24 MAPLE AVENUE AND BINGO. 
          IT'LL TELL US JUST WHERE WE WANT TO GO. 
          NOW WATCH THIS FREDDY MAGIC. 
          GEEZ, WHAT 
          [02:10:01]
HAPPENED? NO CONNECTION TO SERVER. 
          TRY AGAIN LATER. 
          SO MUCH FOR, FOR THE MAGIC OF THE APP. 
          HOW DO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? UH, I'LL, I'LL TEXT THEM AND ASK DIRECTIONS. 
          WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL THEM? I DON'T WANNA TALK TO THEM. 
          ISN'T TALKING THE WAY YOU GET INFORMATION? NO ONE WANTS TO BE BOTHERED TALKING WHEN THEY CAN TEXT. 
          I LIKE TALKING. 
          THAT'S OBVIOUS. 
          BUT TEXTING IS MUCH MORE EFFICIENT. 
          I I DON'T WANNA MAKE IDLE CONVERSATION WITH THE HAMMONDS RIGHT NOW. 
          I JUST WANT DIRECTIONS. 
          MAYBE THAT'S WHY THEY DIDN'T INVITE YOU TO THE PARTY LAST YEAR. 
          , WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? MAYBE THEY THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED IN THEM BECAUSE YOU NEVER MAKE YOUR IDLE CONVERSATION AS YOU CALL IT. 
          PEOPLE LIKE HEARING A HUMAN VOICE ON THE PHONE. 
          IT MAKES THEM FEEL CONNECTED. 
          I'M CONNECT WHEN I TEXT. 
          TEXTING ISN'T LIKE TALKING HARRY. 
          IT LACKS THE HUMAN TOUCH. 
          OBSESSED CAN BE VERY HUMAN. 
          FOR EXAMPLE, I'M WALKING DOWN THE STREET, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN I HAVE A DEEP THOUGHT ABOUT I, I DON'T KNOW, WORLD PEACE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. 
          I TAKE OUT MY PHONE AND I TEXT THAT TO SOMEONE OR TWEET IT TO THE WORLD RIGHT THEN AND THERE. 
          THOSE PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS SHOULDN'T BE SHARED. 
          THEIR PRIVATE AND NOT PARTICULARLY INTERESTING. 
          MINE ARE VERY INTERESTING. 
          FASCINATING FACT. 
          HOW ABOUT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN TEXTED OR TWEETED FOR THAT MATTER. 
          WRITE AND WRITE AGAIN. 
          IT MIGHT BE YOU SOME GOOD TO TRY IT BEFORE YOU CONDEMN IT. 
          THINK OF IT FREDDY. 
          IMMEDIATE COMMUNICATION WITH THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. 
          I LOVE TO TALK, WALK TO ONE PERSON AT A TIME. 
          IN MY BOOK ALL THIS TEXTING AND TWEETING IS, IS OVERRATED. 
          WE'RE LIVING IN THE 21ST CENTURY FREDDY. 
          PRETTY SOON PEOPLE WON'T BE READING BOOKS AT ALL. 
          FINE. 
          GO AHEAD. 
          TEXT. 
          ANYWAY, NOW YOU'RE TALKING. 
          HE'LL TEXT ME RIGHT BACK AND WE WILL BE THERE. 
          YOU BET IT'S GETTING LATE OFF COLD. 
          YOU KNOW, HOLD ON A SECOND. 
          HAVE TO CHECK MY EMAIL. 
          AH, GREAT. 
          I CAN CONNECT NOW. 
          YOUR EMAIL CAN WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW. 
          SOMEONE MIGHT BE WANTING TO REACH ME TONIGHT. 
          I I I DON'T WANNA BE OUT OF TOUCH. 
          IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE WHO'D BE TRYING TO REACH YOU? AN OLD GIRLFRIEND. 
          MAYBE. 
          I, I'VE BEEN TO HER THOUGHTS FOR YEARS AND SHE'S FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO REACH OUT TONIGHT. 
          FREDDY. 
          TONIGHT MIGHT BE THE NIGHT. 
          MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGES IN AN INSTANT. 
          SUCH INTRIGUE. 
          CARRIE, IT'S A WONDER YOU HAVE TIME TO EAT AND SLEEP. 
          LOOK AT HERE, LOOK AT YOUR TEXT MESSAGE FROM THE HAMMONDS AND SAYS, WE'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF TOWN. 
          THEY LIVE AT 24 MAPLE STREET, NOT 24 MAPLE AVENUE. 
          TOLD YOU SOMETHING WAS WRONG. 
          WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 
          DIRECTIONS, DIRECTIONS. 
          FOLLOW LINCOLN AVENUE. 
          STRAIGHT ACROSS THE HIGHWAY, ABOUT A MILE OR SO. 
          KEEP GOING OUT AND LOOKING FOR A GIANT INDIAN CHIEF FLAT SIGN. 
          FLASHING BLUE IN RED. 
          THE HOUSE IS DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET. 
          BINGO. 
          WHAT DID I TELL YOU? I SAID, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW, BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN IN THE DIRECTION. 
          SO SCREWED UP. 
          YOU TYPE MAPLE AVENUE INTO YOUR GPS INSTEAD OF MAPLE STREET. 
          I DID. 
          YEAH. 
          YOU KNOW THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU ARE CONCENTRATING AS YOU TYPE. 
          THEN WHEN YOU CONCENTRATE, YOU SEE EVERYTHING OUT LOUD. 
          I HEARD YOU SAY VERY DISTINCTLY 24 MAPLE AVENUE. 
          WHY DIDN'T YOU CORRECT ME? I DIDN'T KNOW THE ADDRESS I WAS COMING ON. 
          I I I WAS COUNTING ON YOU AND YOUR GPS . 
          THIS IS A DISASTER NOW. 
          WE WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE PARTY BY MIDNIGHT. 
          WE WILL JUST HOP IN THE CAR AND WE'LL BE THERE IN NO TIME. 
          THIS PHONE RINGS. 
          WHO AT THAT BE? OH, BILL. 
          HI. 
          YEAH, YEAH, . 
          WE'RE FINE. 
          WE'RE ON OUR WAY. 
          LISTEN. 
          UM, YES, YOU TOO. 
          THAT WAS BILL HAMMOND WANTED TO MAKE SURE I GOT HIS TEXT. 
          HE SAID WE SHOULD HURRY UP AND GET THERE. 
          THE PARTY ISN'T THE SAME. 
          OTHERS I, FOR HIM TO CALL ON. 
          ALRIGHT, LET'S GET, LET HIM GET HIM. 
          MOVE ON. 
          WE'VE GOT THAT SOME SERIOUS PARTYING TO DO. 
          I CAN'T BELIEVE I SCREWED UP LIKE THIS. 
          YOU KNOW, ONE DAY THERE WILL BE AN APP TO CORRECT A MISTAKE YOU MAKE WITH ANOTHER APP. 
          I'M SURE OF IT. 
          AND WHEN THAT DAY COMES, YOU AND HARRY, NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY, WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA SCREW UP SOMETIMES AS MY YOGA TEACHER SAYS, TAKE YOUR PETTY ANNOYANCES, TOSS THEM LIKE FLOWER PETALS INTO THE SCREEN AND WATCH THEM FLOAT AWAY THE HUMAN. 
          THERE'S NO AFTER THAT. 
          PARDON? THANK YOU ALL. 
          SEAN IS SETTING UP. 
          I'LL JUST SHARE THAT. 
          YOU CAN HAVE FUN WITH TECHNOLOGY TOO. 
          WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE YOUNG, I TOLD THEM THAT THE GPS LADY MOONLIGHTED AS THE TOOTH FAIRY. 
          AND THAT'S HOW SHE KNEW WHERE EVERYBODY LIVED. 
          ANYWAY, UM, SO WE NEED SOME OF THIS MIC. 
          OH YEAH, NO, EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 
          WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE. 
          SO I NEED THESE. 
          SEAN TAGER MAY BE BEST KNOWN AS AN ARTIST AND ILLUSTRATOR, BUT HE'S ALSO HAD EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE AS A PERFORMANCE ARTIST, MUSICIAN, SONGWRITER, 
          [02:15:01]
AND PUPPETEER WITH HIS PUPPET, DR. 
          NECROSIS. 
          SEAN WON FIRST PLACE AT THE INAUGURAL WFMU PUPPET SLAM IN NEW JERSEY, UM, EXCUSE ME, IN JERSEY CITY, IN NEW JERSEY, WHICH SHOWCASED MORE THAN A DOZEN PROFESSIONAL PUPPETEERS FROM THROUGHOUT THE NORTHEAST. 
          DR. 
          NECROSIS ALSO APPEARED AGAIN AT THE CLOSING OF SEAN'S ART EXHIBIT TRIBULATION 2025 AT HASTINGS UPSTREAM GALLERY LAST DECEMBER, WHERE HE LED ATTENDEES ENCHANTING THE POWER OF ART. 
          COMPELS YOU. 
          IT WAS GREAT. 
          I I HOPE YOU MANY OF YOU GOT TO SEE THAT EXHIBIT. 
          IT WAS UNBELIEVABLY GREAT, AS WAS THE PUPPET SHOW FOR THIS EDITION OF WORDS ON HUDSON. 
          DR. 
          WILL PLAY THE LEAD IN THE RISE OF MANGO TAGGART'S NEW PLAY ABOUT THE CREATION OF A SOLDIER, WHICH HE WROTE FOR US FOR THIS EVENING. 
          PLEASE. 
          GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 
          I AM DR. 
          NECROSIS, SCIENTIST, NECRO, SIAN. 
          AND NOW FOR THE AND NOW FOR THE BUSINESS AT HAND. 
          WE ARE LIVING IN A TIME OF MONSTERS. 
          MONSTERS OF SUCH MOUNTAINOUS MAGAZINES, SUCH GARGANTUAN SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT. 
          THEY BLOT THE SUN IN THEIR SHADOW, NOTHING GROVE. 
          THESE HUMONGOUS HOPES, THESE HUMONGOUS HOPES OF GREAT GLUTTONOUS TRICITY. 
          THEY, THEY CRASH, THEY THUNDER. 
          THEY, THEY CRUSH EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATH, POISONING THE WORLD. 
          LAND, SEA, AIR. 
          THESE GLOBAL GLUTTONOUS, GIBBERING DEGENERATES, WHOSE MALIGNANCY HAS METASTASIZED INTO EVERY PORE, EVERY CREVICE AND OF EXISTENCE. 
          INDEED, WE  YOU FOOL. 
          HOW DARE YOU FORGET THE LINES. 
          . 
          SORRY. 
          MEANWHILE, WE WR OUR HANDS AND CRY TO THE HEAVENS. 
          WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 
          WHAT IS TO BE DONE? THERE IS NOTHING TO BE DONE. 
          INDEED. 
          THE DIE IS CAST SET IN STONE. 
          THE TIME IS NINE, ACTUALLY THE END IS NINE. 
          UM, SO IT WOULD SEEM FOR I AND I ALONE HAVE DEVELOPED THE MEANS BY WHICH TO CHANGE THIS HORRIBLE, WRONG. 
          BY YEARS OF EXPERIMENTATION AND RESEARCH BY TEST TUBE AND INDENTATION, I HAVE DEVELOPED, YES, I HAVE DEVELOPED A MEANS BY WHICH TO CREATE A RACE OF SUPER SOLDIERS, THE LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. 
          EQUIPPED WITH A CUNNING, FLEXIBLE, SENSUAL, ADAPTIVE BRAIN OF THE HUMAN KIND AND THE FEARSOME PHYSIQUE OF THE WESTERN LOWLAND GORILLA. 
          THIS NEW RACE WILL BRING THOSE ME MECAL, OIDS TO HEAL. 
          NO MORE, NO MORE OR NO LESS. 
          THEIR CITADELS WILL BE TURNED TO ASH. 
          NO MORE SHALL WE FEEL THE STING OF OUR MASTERS LASH FREE AT LAST. 
          FREE AT LAST. 
          AND I, I SHALL LEAD YOU TO TOIL TO BUILD A SHINING NEW WORLD. 
          A WORLD WHERE CITIZENS WILL NEVER BE BURDENED BY FREE WILL. 
          NO MORE WORRY, NO MORE DISCOMFORT, NO MORE AMBITION. 
          ALL WILL BE EQUAL. 
          ALL WILL FEED FROM THE SAME TROUGH. 
          IN GRATITUDE, YOU WILL THROW GARLANDS AT MY FEET. 
          [02:20:02]
AND LIKE A GOD I SHALL. 
          AH, BUT LET ME NOT BOTHER YOU WITH THE TROUBLES. 
          AND NOW FOR THE BUSINESS AT HAND, BONDS BONDS THE BRAIN. 
          THE BRAIN. 
          WHERE IS IT? QUICKLY, MAN, FETCH THE BRAIN. 
          I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY. 
          WHAT'S THIS? UGH. 
          IT HAS EXPIRED YOU. 
          THICK FINGER ADULT. 
          A FRESH ONE, A FRESH ONE. 
          DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU TWICE. 
          HMM. 
          THIS ONE IS A FEW ARTHRITIC IDIOT. 
          THIS ONE IS AS ROTTEN AS THE LAST. 
          NO. 
          GET ME A BRAIN QUICKLY, MAN. 
          QUICKLY. 
          OH, CONFIDENT. 
          HMM. 
          HMM. 
          YES. 
          THIS ONE WILL DO. 
          THIS ONE WILL DO WELL. 
          INSERT THE BRAIN. 
          NEED GOD'S MAN  STUPID SWINE. 
          AND NOW, BUT ALL THAT IS UNHOLY. 
          GRANT ME THE POWER TO CREATE UNLIVING LIFE. 
          HAN FLIP THE SWITCH. 
          SUCCESS HANS BA IN MY GLORY. 
          FOR I HAVE DEFEATED DEATH, I HAVE BROUGHT NATURE TO HER NEEDS. 
          AND NOW RISE, MAN. 
          GORE RISE, BEHOLD MANOR, THE FIRST OF MY GREAT ARMY. 
          AN ARMY OF SUCH FEROCITY THAT THEY MAKE ME WORLD BLOOD RUN COLD AND TURN TO ICE. 
          OH MAN. 
          OH MAN. 
          YES. 
          YOU'LL BECOME MY SWORD. 
          AND SMITE ALL WHO DO NOT YIELD. 
          AND LIKE A PLAGUE OF, OF LOCUSTS, WE WILL SWARM STRIPPING THE WORLD OF HER TREASURES. 
          AND ANYONE WHO DOES NOT PAY ME FEALTY WILL BE DESTROYED. 
          FOR I DR. 
          NECROSIS EXALTED EMPEROR OF THE WORLD SHALL RULE LIKE A GOD. 
          PARDON? HE SPEAKS. 
          I SPEAK, THEREFORE I AM. 
          THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. 
          EVIDENTLY, IT'S, HMM. 
          THIS IS MOST TROUBLESOME. 
          I MUST ISOLATE THE PAUSE FROM MANOR. 
          LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT YOUTU. 
          I DO NOT CONSENT. 
          NONSENSE. 
          SIR. 
          DO NOT MOLEST ME OR I WILL BE FORCED TO, TO DEFEND MYSELF. 
          YOU DARE THREATEN ME. 
          DR. 
          NECROSIS. 
          YOU IMPERTINENT. 
          NEVERTHELESS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED YOU. 
          I SHALL DO. 
          I WISH YOU WELL. 
          WELL, WHATCHA GOING DO? I'M REALLY, REALLY GONNA DO IT. 
          DO WHAT? LEAVE. 
          BE ALONE. 
          YOU TIRESOME OLD MAN, HANS, TAKE HIM. 
          HANS, SHOW YOURSELF. 
          IT SEEMS YOUR UNDERLING HAS DESERTED YOU. 
          NO, NO. 
          HANS, WHAT DO YOU PLAY AT? SHOW YOURSELF. 
          EVEN A RAT KNOWS. 
          WENT TO 
          [02:25:01]
ABANDON A SINKING SHIP. 
          I AM YOUR TREE AOR. 
          I SHALL BE YOUR DESTROYER. 
          I SHALL STAND VICTORIOUS. 
          VICTORIOUS OF WHAT? A RUINED WORLD ME. 
          AN ABOMINATION AGAINST NATURE. 
          YOU FOOL. 
          YOUR CREATION IS YOUR DESTRUCTION. 
          FOR I SHALL BE THE SWORD THAT OH, NO, NO, NO. 
          OH GOD. 
          NO, NO, NO. 
          OH MY GOD. 
          PLEASE. 
          WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 
          I SUBMIT, I SUBMIT. 
          I BEG MERCY. 
          PLEASE. 
          YOU WANT MERCY FROM ME? YOU, HOW DARE YOU. 
          BUT SIR, I'M PUT A LEPER IN THIS WORLD. 
          LES. 
          YOU ARE LESS THAN A LEPER. 
          EVEN A LEPER DESERVES LOVE AND AFFECTION. 
          YOU, YOU'VE DONE THIS WITH YOUR OWN HANDS, HANDS, DREDGED IN BLOOD. 
          YOUR DREAMS OF ANNIHILATION AND EXALTATION HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE. 
          I GUESS I HAVE SPREADING AROUND. 
          REALLY TEARS ME UP, . 
          BUT ALL SAID ANYWAY, I BEG OF YOU. 
          PLEASE SPARE ME. 
          I SHALL REFORM FOUR HA. 
          HOW DO YOU KNOW? SHAME. 
          CERTAINLY NOT SHAME. 
          WHAT IS THAT? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE WORD. 
          UH UH, UH. 
          YEAH. 
          IT'S, IT'S, YES. 
          I SHALL SPARE YOU. 
          OH WAIT. 
          OH WAIT. 
          I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU. 
          YOU SHALL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR DAYS RE REMAINING HERE ALONE AND IGNORED TO WALLOW IN YOUR FALLING GRANDEUR FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS TILL YOUR DYING BREATH. 
          EVEN I SPARE YOU NOTHING. 
          YOU'LL SUFFER AND BURN, BURN AND SUFFER. 
          OKAY. 
          ALRIGHT. 
          YOU'LL SUFFER. 
          NOW I GO TA TA ALONE. 
          ALAS ALONE. 
          WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 
          WHAT IS TO BE DONE? TECHNICALLY THAT CONCLUDES OUR LITTLE PLAY TODAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 
          THANK YOU. 
          THANK YOU. 
          BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 
          THERE'S STILL MORE. 
          STILL MORE. 
          YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HANG OUT. 
          BUT BEFORE YOU LEAVE, PLEASE ASK YOURSELVES. 
          THIS IS THIS TO BE OUR FUTURE. 
          TO LEAVE OUR HANDS IN SOME MESSIANIC FIGURE. 
          I MEAN, OUR LIVES INTO A MESSIANIC FIGURE'S HANDS WHO PROMISES SALVATION ONLY TO DELIVER DAMNATION. 
          I THINK NOT IS RESISTANCE FUTILE? NO. 
          RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. 
          RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. 
          SAY IT WITH ME. 
          RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. 
          RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. 
          RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE. 
          NOW GO, GO FORTH NOW AND BREAK THE MACHINE. 
          I DO. 
          THANK YOU SEAN. 
          I JUST WANNA THANK REC DEPARTMENT FOR SETTING UP TONIGHT, SETTING UP FOR RAP, FOR, UH, RAP IAN, FOR RUNNING, FILMING THIS FOR WHO HTV AND RUN AND SETTING UP AND THE MICROPHONES, ET CETERA. 
          AND I REALLY WANNA THANK OUR EXTREMELY TALENTED AND ACCOMPLISHED WRITERS PUPPETEERS, UM, PLAYWRIGHTS FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT AND FOR ALL OF YOU FOR COMING OUT ON FRIDAY NIGHT. 
          THANK YOU SO MUCH.
* This transcript was created by voice-to-text technology. The transcript has not been edited for errors or omissions, it is for reference only and is not the official minutes of the meeting.